29 October 2016


I like to have my plans ahead though. So it would be troublesome if I was told with last minute plans. I happy to say I finally able to finish listing the grammars yesterday! I can start revising on Monday onwards! This is so much better though. Have been writing the whole day though and now my hand is a little hurt. 

Went for dinner with the group of six again and damn the bill was expensive, if I know I don't wanna tag along unless its after dinner, a big whole in my purse. Plus, I ate like less than 5% of the food there, so definitely not worth for me. I will count myself out next time, hopefully. My mood was quite a swing during the dinner time after a phone call. More truths are known after my dad is gone. We know lots of things now. Business man will always be business man. I do not know what to say now. All I know the only thing we can do know if to return once it's sold and this will show what kind of person, really a who he is. Human is so scary. 

My mood got better after the dinner. I basically followed three different oppas car just now. Went to the restaurant with an oppa, went to another place with another oppa and went back with another oppa. Feeling thankful. Deep talk with both, I still decide to for Plan A than to Plan C. Fingers crossed it's for real though. Otherwise I am disappointed. I am not sure what to do as well. After yesterday, I probably will speak less and spill less thing to be safe. I am done with it.

I just hope they did not know each other, I feel it's a waste for him not her for his traits. Really a waste. Whether it's from the inner or outer, do him no good though. Such a waste. Sigh. When is my turn to meet such person? I am still waiting. I begin to lessen my fond over them lately. Maybe it's because my often hang outs. I am trying to keep myself positive and think less. Hopefully it works.

Need to pack my swimming and golf wears for evening today. Some outdoor activity this time. I am glad I can understand Korean and Chinese at the same time. HAHA. Easier to mend. Peace! 

28 October 2016

Slow and Steady but in time

I always want to rush my revisions/studies which brings me no good or benefit. My schedule is actually in progress accordingly so I don't actually need to worry though, in fact I added more stuffs that I need to do since I missed out. At the same time, studying the grammar while writing it out. After finishing the listing, I am gonna study the grammars again to complete it. It's time to make use of what I have studied and memorised, by end of next month. If possible I wanna leave end of my December free without studies. Fingers crossed. I need to have less outings to do so though. I wanna stay in during weekdays and out during weekends only actually. See how's my progress first than for this week. I will do as much as I could. 

I took half day a day before and half day again yesterday but this time is EL since the car tyre has some problem, might as well take half way instead of being late. I just wanna be on time, dislike being late. I actually really thought of bringing it to the office to do it but that seems to be extreme, since my schedule is empty so far this weekend, wanna make use of it to finish them. I wanna give excuse to stay in if possible. Let's see how. Gonna fill up anytime I have to finish it. 

I have already decided, came up with Plan B and trying to think of Plan C though. Probably education? I am not sure but I hope the decision is right. And it's weekend baby, I can sleep in. I need to sort out my classes probably after Lunar Year. Let's see how again. So much to do and settle.

I don't wanna think so much, but I can't help it. I am just worried about my decision and trying to becareful at the same time. It's just me. I always thinking a lot about my future.  

27 October 2016

Finally the four of us again.

Well, I  took half day yesterday though to do some bank stuffs. I put my trust on him to reopen my bank account for him to use and I hope I did the right thing for doing so. Also, changed my bank card as well. Manage to do things that I need to do, to collect my salary as well. I thought I would actually have an extra income next month onwards, but doesn't seems like it now. I need to find a way though now. I wonder how. This is depressing.

I did not have enough sleep the whole day and was quite tired though. Since today there would be no outing probably, I hope to start a little my Korean grammar listing from the side. I really wanna finish it by next week though before making any year end plan. Wanna finish in a quick manner but steady and fruitful as well. I should be able to achieve my goal by this week. Fingers crossed for next week onwards. I can do it! Believe it !

After the dinner, wait, I think the dinner was too oily for me though. I still can't take it since I haven't fully recover for the two days before. The least I feel much better now. We went to Thean Hou temple later that. I always feel better after I went there. I am glad to be able to bring them there finally, always wanted too. The feel is good there. Finally bingsu later that! Definitely the best bingsu in town! My second time here! Wanna come here more often but it's quick far though. Well, South Korea politic talks. Since they are having a big issue now.

I don't know why, but I somehow had this weird feeling about it. Shifting, troublesome, less hang out probably. I can concentrate more on my studies soon at the moment? I will see how. Will make use of my time today. Lot's of writing to do. Woots.

Please don't think too much. Just think out of the good only.

26 October 2016

Lie or Truth?

It's so hard to differentiate between lie and truth within people these days. Human beings are so scary now. I can't tell at all, looks genuine but at the same time not as well. So how should I know now? I wanna think in a positive way, a good way but some facts wouldn't really allowed me to think this way. I tried my best but... it's just... I don't know. But yeah... late night coffee and now I can't sleep.

So much to think about, probably my plan wouldn't need to carry on a little later and most probably I would take the risk to South Korea for 1-2 years. What I am gonna later that? I am not sure as well, see how it goes. I hope if I can do well within these two years, I don't need to be frustrated about my career anymore. I am taking the risk. Please be with me and I hope this is the right decision to do. Now I have to decide when to tender my letter and how long I wanna have a break. I have 3 months plus to decide and this is really epic though.

I hope they treat me as sincere as I do as well. I hope the good acts will have good receive and vice versa. I have been standing strong for some time and I wanna keep doing so. I wanna prove to a lot of people and to myself as well. I hope I can do it and I need to actually. Well, I am left with one more to go and I really hope to achieve it by this week. I can do this! Let's rock the 2016 resolutions since 2017's is coming! Time passes so fast. Another year is coming which means I am gonna aged another year in two months time. This is crap. I hate getting old but I can't help it. Wanna be forever young! 

25 October 2016

That's Quick

Oh well, yesterday was the Monday blues though, lazy to wake up and it was raining in the morning, the best time to sleep but too bad I need to get up for work and I am almost late for half an hour due the bad traffic this morning, I guess it's the rain though. Well, who cares anymore. I ate too spicy the day before and I am having bad stomachache now. I am having a bad health now. Can't take too much spicy anymore. Sad life that's why I wanna fix my eating habit by next month. I can't always continue this way. I need to work something out. I am trying my best to make this week as the last week before going totally forbidden by next month. I hope to loose the least two more this month. Oh please be with me.

This two weeks would be the TTMIK study month, next week actually but I am more in advance and in hope to finish the latest by next week. I wanna do more writings next month. Since lots are repeats from grammars and stories so I guess that explains though. I think I need to write more and to use more the grammars to remember, just reading or trying to memorise wouldn't do me good. So yeah. I found some short stories to be translated even. So let's decide which to do first after the TTMIK. Take is slow and steady but also speedy as well. 

Tomorrow is gonna be a busy day for me, I would probably taking half day to go the banks to settle some stuffs. To change my card to pay wave and unfreeze my Maybank account. It has been some time since I used it though. I don't know why but I don't really like that bank. I hope I will have some time to go go collect my part time salary and to get some free Henna. What a busy day though. Even today I would be busy as well since I was suppose to meet my friend that I was supposed to since long ago. I would only make promises to meet once I am on scheduled with my study. 

Too much to think about my career. Need some time to digest for everything that has happened. I need to work out how to improved my Korean. Some research later today or something. See how it goes tonight. 

24 October 2016

Back to Two more

As I predicted weekend is hard to resists, it became now, was supposed to be just one. I am so deep shit how. He's back and I think it's gonna be really hard again. I think I need to test my resistance this week on weekdays. I really hope I can make it this week. I have been dragging it since early of the year and this is really bad. I want my plan to go as usual healthy. Justt.... I wanna stop the latex and the bad habit totally next month. I wanna make this last week of October as the resistance week! I need to do it. I wanna make it just one more or achieved! PLEASE.

Well, sleep really late the day before that I woke up really late and need to rush to Sungei Wang to meet my friend. Apparently she was lately as well so we only manage to meet for an hour, no time for dress and I need to meet another person to clear up lots of stuffs. Finally able to try the bingsu there which I have been longing for some time. It's just soso and normal and manage to take some Deepavali decoration picture as well. I manage to get free Henna too! The colour is a little light though but I like it. 

Managed to clear up some stuff, thankfully I finished the studies last week to make it in advance cause I know I am gonna be busy again soon. There's so much that was told or informed. I have much to think about now. Plus I am stressing about my resistance for this week as well. I need to make it. Just liquid, better off yogurt after work, no soild. I can do this! I wanna stop everything next month, one more please!

23 October 2016

The truth and confession

What a weekend. I had a good sleep yesterday! Like not always I can have a good sleep every weekend. Had lunch with mum and rush myself to Korean meet up today. I was suppose to attend another meet up as well but end up I can't make it and just attend one though. The meet up yesterday was quite okay, quite a number of people. Some Koreans but not many though. Sigh. I wish there's more that comes to the meet up. After the meet up went with older oppa and the others for dinner. As usual, I don't really have appetite yesterday, thinking too much after a call. I do not know what to react and to say though. I really do want to work in South Korea but this is too sudden. I am thinking too much, I know but I can't help it.

After the dinner we actually went for an ice cream! This is so good though. Alcohol ice cream! I feel like working here and eat ice cream all day! :)

After the ice cream we went to unnie's house. Her kid is so lovely ! It's my first time in a Korean family house. Feels good though. I feel so Korean though since the outing today was so totally in Korean. Though I understand 80% of the conversations, I wish I can converse well to join in the conversation. I just wanna speak Korean like a native! Pfttt. I just confessed because I feel so stuffed and frustrated. Oppa is the only I can tell to. I am sorry that I need to share it to another person, I just need someone to help me lessen the burden and frustration and he's the only one I can think of. I wish he wouldn't tell anyone, really. He kind of confessed some stuffs too. I also finally clear of the misunderstanding. I feel better a little after saying it but I am still thinking about it. I still will be careful. I am thankful at the same time as well. 

I am blessed to know all these older brothers and hope these blessed will continue for a long term. THANK YOU, really do. 

22 October 2016


I woke up quite early just to go to the dentist and I made it. I even have time to pay the fine on behalf. In fact there's no one at all! I am the first and only customer during the payment process and it's so near as well. I though I would take some time so I did not bring any books to study for lunch. After the dentist, I can't have solid food today, but if I am about to eat at another side, it should be fine right? I should just skip meal for the day maybe. In fact, I am scared of weekend. It's hard to resists during the weekends. I wanna achieve by next week once and for all. I am so near to my goal already. I don't wanna ruined it at all. Oh please.

I feel so bad to accidently cause a scratch there. I though there was ink on it but I don't think it is, since I do not have any pens around it ! That's weird. I should have noticed it days earlier, that it heated up pretty quickly lately. Probably the caused? I shouldn't have wipe it but I can't help it to see the stain there. I feeel so sorry and bad now. I do not know how to face him tomorrow. Plus if his other half comes, I am even more scared and anxious. OH well, reasons mentioned before and not gonna mention it again. What should I do? I can't sleep well during the night thinking about this. In fact, I always have a lot to think every night. Especially now, the land, the career and the appearance, also the language studies. The land having some heads up now, I really hope it would be settled by this year before 2017. I wanna have a peace of mind and probably help out after everything settled out. As for career, this is the most frustrating because I do not know where to go and what to do. The appearance? I am close to it, now I need to maintain it soon. Which means I need to go totally healthy by next month. So next week is my last shot. Lastly, my languages. I planned to take my final Korean exam by end next year and as well with Chinese as well. I hope to take HSK 4 by early next year. So I really need to revise right now for Chinese. Still doing well, since I ahead of my schedule. Feeling satisfied for this at least.

It's weekend man, I preferred to be busy than staying home now. It's sad to see my mum needs to sell my dad's favourites to survive. That made me eager to earn more money and do well in my career. I feel heartbroken, really do. I just I am at somewhere in my career the least instead of searching. I feel so solely thinking about my family. What happened? We were almost doing good with each other till all these happened. What exactly happened? Everything happened for a reason? Really? I hope these reasons doing us good. I am still not completely heal over it. I think about it from time to time, vividly. Because I do miss him sometimes. It has been a really long time since the family went out for dinner together for a Chinese, Western, Japanese or Korean dinner. I wish I can afford to bring the family out to eat. I am like my dad, I will be happy if I can see them eat happily or what they like. I hope this day will eventually come. We had enough, the good is coming. It will. 

Most of my friends and families around me know that I am a big Korean fans but as I got older, or to say my cliches has many Koreans or international people now, I sort of able to sort out what kind and where kind of cliches I am able to get along quick and well. Most of them I am able to, I am not picky. But among the more comfortable ones. I am not saying. Just to know myself. I have always said, I may like Koreans, but I don't planned to marry a Korean unless I found a pretty darn good one. I wanna try to date a Korean who knows it might turned out well. I might marry him. My taste of guys is hard to find. That's why I am still single now. Chinese is okay to me too but not Malaysian, I do not know why I am not in to Malaysians. Please do not ask me. From Taiwan, Japan, Hong Kong, certain Chinese areas, specially Asian born Westerners are my favourite. I love Asians who speaks good English with accent, I mean real accent. Don't treat me a fool, accents/languages are my favourites, I can tell clearly you are naturally having the accent or faking it. Though I know it's a fake accent, I wouldn't say it, they have their reasons to take it, none of my business. The embarrassment is not on me though. It's not my pride. Pfftt. 

It has been some time that I blog so much. I have lots to say today and I even blog in advance cause I am worried that I might not have time when I am back or too tired. So therefore yeah. Doing it now. 

21 October 2016

The Weekend

Well, it's TGIF  today! I am gonna have a night out with le mum, well not actually really a night out though but yeah. I am gonna be busy for the weekend. I am having tough time to arrange my schedule to meet my friends since am in dilemma if I wanna attend for another meet up with both happening at the same time. Frustrated. Oh well, see how it goes on Saturday and I will decide during then. 

I am so tight myself lately. I learnt to spend less and that's a good thing. I should continue this since I do not have much savings every month these days because of my commitments. Sigh. I shouldn't have spent so much when I first come out to work, now I am pack of savings. Lesson learnt. Save money when young. I wanna earn more money as well. I just wanna give my mum a good life. She's not young anymore. :(

I have been doing some research lately. It's not easy to find an overseas professional work especially with my field. But I am not giving but and keep trying to find. I am sure there will be opportunity. I will.....

This little fella talks a lot now, he's so grown up now and yes, I am a big fan of his and wish to see him one day though he will be a big boy in future. He's too adorable! 

20 October 2016


I have finally finished all my new vocabs and grammars yesterday which I will be almost a month ahead. I will probably will still bring forward to do them earlier next week for the TTMIK studies. I finally decided to do some translation first for 2 weeks before moving to essays. I feel I can't write good ones since my grammar is still weak though. I need to search some short English passage to be translated later today when I am back. I wanna see how much I can translate it to Korean and vice versa to English if possible. I can't wait. Also, Friday till Sunday I will be really busy as usual. That's why I always try my best to keep my weekdays free to study and revise. This time it's doing good.

Finally I am back on track to one. Trying to achieve it by this week if possible. Trying to half and stop it by next month. Lately I am into coffee, hopefully one shot I can reduce it after next week. I can't wait! I know why my eye twitch now, I hope it's about it, the good news. Finally there's buyer to my land. I hope everything will go smoothly till the land totally sell off! I hope everything will be settle before 2017! Fingers crossed. Be positive POSITIVE! It will be good news before 2017! I am feeling thankful. Please till the end. Looking forward and more to do later that.

I am gonna do some research while in the office as well since I have got no time at home during weekdays or weekends. Probably weekend is possible but I though of studying only Chinese during the weekends and Korean during weekdays. Chinese just during my train ride and lunch time is not enough though. I wanna take the exam next year after CNY. So yeah, I need to be serious with the study now. Chinese is really hard though.

I miss the old times when we just knew each other. We get to spend more time together and closer but now, feel like we are drifting apart. Guess, good times don't last. I just wish.. we can be more closer instead. You would be the one invite me for outings instead always the youngest one. That don't really happened anymore..... Feeling sad..... I still remember the first time we met. All of us. It was nostalgic. I miss the moments. Sincere, I hope. They have became memories.

I do not know what I did for the person to treat me so but yeah. Physical as an adult but mentally childish. That's all I can say. For the sake of a person. You just don't have the confident or your're just envious of me. that's it. Suite yourself. What's goes around comes back all around. Everything happens for a reason, so does your status.