27 July 2016


I was surfing for toning up videos when I stumble upon a military diet for 3 days only, people manage to loose 3-4KGs. Is that even possible? Like that's crazy just with this diet in a week? I was so curious that I went to the groceries yesterday to try this out for 2 days to see if it really works, I even stuffed myself yesterday to test the results. I hope I won't regret this cause I increase my weight for the sake of this. My last shot. If it doesn't work, my oats and yogurt diet begins next week with body toning, in fact hope to start this weekend though, need to mark a month work out on my calender to time myself the results. Hope no more beast-full feast! I don't want to be back to the old me. It's pathetic! :(I am giving a month delay till August for my final results, 5KG more to go. Let's rock it. I don't want to stop yet till I achieve it though many has advised me to stop loosing, too skinny is horrid. Pffttt. 

I am still feeling frustrated over the matter that happened last Sunday, I feel so bad and not happy at the same time, I was never really unhappy in the group before, but that day really made me upset a little but I can show or say it out. Cause I know they are concerned with me, it's all my fault that everything has happened. I feel so regret and guilty still though they said it's not. I know it, I am sorry, really do. I can feel the love from you guys. THANK YOU.

I wonder it's a good thing or a bad thing. Oh well, fuck it, let's do the military diet and the toning next Monday onwards! The first day of August! 


26 July 2016

Failed Again

I was suppose to start today but I failed it again, as always and it's already the last week of July! I am not sure if I can the least of the results now! I am feeling so regret and disappointed with myself. Why do I keep failing it? I am already so close to my goal why not achieve it totally? Hopefully today is the starting point, oh please. No more dragging to the next month, it's gonna be end of the year soon. I am feeling worried since I have not achieve anything at all yet. This is pathetic. I hate myself!

Oh well, I only slept for 3 hours went to work and rush back to meet them during the night, just to make sure the atmosphere is alright after the incident and seems like they are okay but not so good impression on him anymore. Hmm. I am feeling like I am caught in the middle again and I am feeling so bad during the morning. Called up two person to talk about it, but now I am feeling much better now. 

I have already skipped the maximum of my Korean class so yea, I need to attend for 3 hours class for a month now. Save up my time and petrol at the same time. Revising back my essays today onwards. Hopefully no more outings during weekdays anymore. Only weekend. I need to keep myself on track with my language studies and also now my diet including my tone up thing today onwards and full force next week onwards, the new month. I need to save money and time. So weekdays is it. I can do this !


25 July 2016


Yesterday was a crazy date. A date turned into a big matter. I was reluctant to wake up but woke up early yesterday and thankfully have some time to do some cleaning in my room but not the floor yet, probably next weekend since I am schedule free probably. Right away head for appointment, from lunch, movie, a tea and till late dinner with the gang. Finally Ampang has bingsu now but it's not so nice though. The milk is not enough. I called the single green tea, it's not so bad after all. At least, the nearest to my place. I don't know the love for bingsu. 

Korean BBQ dinner with the brothers and this is where the overwhelmed stories begins, I was so pressured and sorry for causing all the happenings. I need time to think over or heal. This could be phonia though. I never thought so far, it felt like a dream. At least, will have breaks or normal life from now, even rush back to hear the explanation. What a crazy night. Speechless as well. I do not know what to say and feel as well as judge! 

I am feeling confused now. 

24 July 2016

Crazy Night Out

What a crazy night yesterday! Slept for only two hours and need to rush to Midvalley to manage some meet up. Stayed there for like hours and rush home to grab the cake I left and forgotten then drop my Korean friend at this bar and straight to friend's place. I am basically out the whole day. Even went to friend's place in the morning to collect the swimsuit. I almost forgot that my friend's mum has last stage of cancer, it's sad to see any parents that are in sick. Please be healthy people. I feel their family is pretty warm, uncles and aunties came for breakfast. Sigh, wish I had this blood-related warm family gathering too but too bad. Hard for me. 

Well, Starbucks again yesterday. This time I manage to try the green tea chocolate and it was really nice! :) I have all kind of names from Starbucks. No one really get my name right but yeah, thanks for the drink! :) It's not cheap though. 

I do not know how did I manage to forgot to  bring the cake that I need to go back and grab it but end up the main character can't make it so we made special video for her instead. Had an amazing dinner as well. Friend is a great cook with lots of variety of foods, I am really gonna put on weight! 

His lovely dog, really pretty and cute, she doesn't seems to really fond of me. That is really sad and most of the time she's in the cage since there's so many guest. There's another black poodle as well behind her but can't really see the clear cut. 

Besides, finally I get to go for a swim! Though it's raining a little and got heavier so we were forced to get out of the pool and it was really cold! I was shivering instead! But I had fun and thanks to the lovely instructor oppa. Though he did not learnt long as well. 

I put too high expectation on big oppa's lady. I am not sure if it would be a good choice of partner but my instinct tells me it's not really a good idea but well, guys will never realise it. Girls on girls are always right. Oh well, not my choice or decision or life. Need more meetings for more understanding. Shall not comment anymore. Mouth shut. 

We spent hours deciding what to do after the couple left. End up we went back home instead cause the time is hanging and there's nothing to do at all so yeah. All went home. 

What a day I had. Hopefully today would be fruitful as well. My last day but not too much. Yogurt thing was suppose to start by last week but postponed to this week so yeah, partially maybe I need to succeed the least and strengthen it within two months till September. I can do this baby! 

23 July 2016

Skipped the class again

I skipped my class yesterday again. The second time and I need to replace two classes now. I have been debating whether or not if I want to go but ended up skipping the class. Let's be serious next week onwards okay. This weekend totally the last fun and easy going okay? My diet is a total disaster since last week as well. I am so regretting it. So yeah, closing one eye till this weekend and gonna revamp the schedule for Monday onwards till end of August, hopefully some workout to do. It's really the time to tone up though. Looking horrid now! :(

Anyway, it was a crazy night. Last minute decision to sing k. It's quite pricey for Redbox but they have much more songs. This place is really old, besides updating the prices they should upgrade the system and the place as well. Though I just renewed my for life member, don't think this place would be my choice in near future. It's crazy. 

After the karaoke session, went to my friend's place to help out the preparation and yea, apparently it was my friend's bad day. Car broke down and nothing really went pretty well so we lend a hand. Well, end up updating the blog at 7AM. I need to wake up at 11AM to prepare. This is insane though. I have a meet up to attend and a house party to attend. I am gonna be dead tired but I can't totally sleep now. :( 

22 July 2016

Broke the RULE

In deep shit, I broke the rule again, this is so bad. Why did I do it again? I would have achieve the result if I did not broke it. This is deep shit! Hopefully today would be it! I staying in so yeah, I need to make it! My weekend is gonna be busy again! As always, I am gonna be really busy but I am enjoying my life. That's the most important thing. When I am out, I will try not to spend so much though. I am out of budget now. Next week is my salary week, I need to save wisely. Pffttt. 

The happy feeling when the person you're interested asked you out. I mean, it has been some time though. I feeling thankful and grateful lately. Thank you for everything, really do. I am left with a week more to at least achieve the least result, I hope I can make it. I will begin slightly my tone up next week, after this weekend. For two months, for the sake of the trip. I will make it right! I will ! I need too ! I don't wanna waste more time, I have wasted much enough.

I have finally decided to go for class on Saturday though I am lazy. I have already skipped one class and I shouldn't anymore since I paid for it. I need to keep in pace as well so yeah, need to attend. Moreover I need to collect the swimsuit. I can do this ! 

Today is it, I need to be really strict to be just one liquid for the sake of tomorrow. PLEASE! 

21 July 2016

Mother's Birthday!

Yesterday was my mum's actually birthday! So yeah the cake day, we don't usually separate the celebration but yeah, this time we did it. Even with the aunts. Went to a friend's place for a mini celebration, I forgotten to take some cake pictures but yeah, the latte was pretty good. The cakes were nice as well but I did not try any, can't break my promise so yeah. As long as the elders said nice, it will be since they are good cooks. 

Probably will come over for a second time, a good place and reasonable price though. I don't mind spending on my mum, cause she deserves it. I wish I will be able to earn more money in future and provide even better!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER, you're all I have now. 

20 July 2016

So regret right now

I think I really need to stop with the ice cream and the cold stuff cause I can't do it for these past two days and the results is a disaster now. I am feeling so dead now and so stress! Took me hours and I still can't do it. I am way off my schedule now. I am so dead. I am only left with a week. Deep shit for this Saturday! I hate myself. What was I thinking? Keep repeating the same mistakes. It's already the second half year, continuing what I am doing now is really not right, I promised to have this month as the last goal, I really do not wish to extend it. I am forced to use the three days to gain back the usual results. The will and strength now. I need too. wtf. 

I am really getting fed up with work now. Yet, I still need to be patient. I promised to start today but I ruined it instead. So that's it, forbidden now. Even worse. I need to torture myself. :( Hates. Feeling depressed.

For all that is happening right now, I feel like I am in a dream. I am feeling grateful and thankful. I hope it happens for a good reason. 


19 July 2016

Crazy Day with the olders.

Yesterday was my last crazy day ate to the max and I am regretting it now. Gosh. I need to diet to the max now. Not sure if I can make it in time for Saturday but I need to now! Damn it! Resist or I will regret it. Dinner with the oppas yesterday. The most I had for the week and I am really regretting it now. 

I wouldn't say it's really good from Mr. Dakgalbi but still okay I guess. It's hard to find a good one in Malaysia. After the meal, a short walk and stopped by the newly opened Dalkomm. Coffee at Solaris Mont Kiara! The drinks are pretty good. I never called their drink before and their bingsu is a little different but expensive though. They did everything that I want to do and now I am gaining weight now. This is really depressing and fun at the same time. TIME TO DIET LIKE DEEP SHIT!

After the cup of drink, everyone got bored and not sure what to do, finally decided to head up to Genting Highlands for Starbucks. How crazy is that. Went half way, stopped our car, got a cool breeze and went down for a Starbucks half way. 

I had cold drinks all the way and had a tough time doing it. So regretting it now. Sort of changed my a week diet plan now to have a quicker effect. Damn it. I am feeling so sad and stress now. This is so insane. We wanted to meet the older oppa's lady but guess we do not have fate, hopefully one day.

The end of the fun. Time to stop everything officially. Time to achieve the goal as total and study time! No more fun and save money yoh!


18 July 2016

My last bingsu My last day

Yesterday, well was suppose to be my last feast day before my yogurt diet day today! I will officially begin my yogurt dinner diet this week onwards. Oh please it needs to be a success since my PMS is over and there's no more excuse! I need to finish off by this month! I wanna stop the bad habit really. It's really bad and I need to achieve it by next week. 

I have been eating bingsu since last week and this is really bad! I hope I no longer spending my money on this desserts man. I have been over budget this month and this is really bad. Hopefully this month's salary I can save up some, wait this month onwards in fact! so yeah, I need to stay in on weekdays to study as well.

I need to get myself a swimsuit, just checked it out yesterday and it was quite expensive which I only need a budget one since I don't swim much. 

Hopefully this is my last bingsu. No more I am silently killing myself. Healthy lifestyle and resistance, the will. The day is coming so please bear with it!