27 September 2016


I am feeling tired so tired yesterday which I do not know why since I slept for 6 hours, the average adult sleeping hours. It's not my special month either. There's so much for me to think about, when the uncle hasn't call yet. It has been almost two months and I am honestly really worried. Probably add on to my hair fall as well. I try to stop my habit by this weekend. I need to get rid of it, it's doing me bad. I need to go healthy before 2017! My new resolution. 2017 is my career year, I am looking forward to do some overseas plan and I hope it will go well. Bright ahead and be positive, as positive as possible. Save us someone please?

I have been a little sensitive lately. I think mainly it's because of our house problem, I try not to show it anymore. I don't wanna be a burden from the mood. I will try to hold it as much as I could, I need to learn this for future use. I am either thinking too much, overthink. Even if it's true, I can't bother much, I can't be too sensitive. Learn to overlook a little, it's good for me and the others. I am not sure it's for real, of course I hope it is but even if it's not I can understand. They have the rights that I can't control. I understand. It's my faith, our faith and we need to go through it. I am mentally and physically tired. 

I am just waiting for time now. My heart is no longer there and this is dreadful actually. Wasted my 2 years time and it's time to shine! I am not a positive person but I wanna try my best to be one. Life has been tough lately, I can't fall. I need to find ways. 2017 is approaching and I need to make it, I will. 

My memorising is faster than scheduled, I hope to finish by today so that I can go with the new grammars but next week. At least I will have at least 1-2 weeks break from Korean study. I am not sure if I wanna to continue the Korean class if so happens everything works well, I will be wasting my money. Left undecided, this is hard. So much plan is hanging. 

I do not feel well pretty often lately. I think the symptoms are getting worse. I need to stop ASAP, I need to. 

26 September 2016

Time to Resume

Okay, I let it go this weekend and it's time to loose back  what I gained for the past two days. I need to work out I keep saying it but I have not been doing it at all! It's gonna be end of the year soon, I need to stop the bad habit before November which means October is my final last month, I can't make it a year habit in fact more than a year as well. This is really bad. Health is getting bad and hair is falling more and more so I need to stop it instantly. Hopefully by next month, thinking about really starting my tone up! Next week maybe? I need to loose more weight. Oh please stop eating already. This week I am gonna try coffee diet during the day. Let's see if it works.

Finally next month I have some income coming in. Hopefully for long though. I want more instead, guess I need to find a way. That's still not enough though. Maybe I should get another student. Probably would be good. Maybe I will try to browse around. This week probably. See if I can do anything. Guess work would be busy too since I am alone, can't show that I am efficient, I don't want them to make use of me, not like they will increase my salary. I am sure of to get off here after CNY, right away that is. I want to pursue my dream approaching CNY, so I was hoping the opportunity given to me is for real and at a good reasonable price. I don't want to put my hopes high either but prays that it's real. Fingers crossed.

I have been meeting my high school mates lately. Glad that they have been doing well. I know that I should jump work now, I am just waiting for the right time and value. That's why I am stuck here. Gave me some time to study my languages as well, that's how my Korean and Chinese improved much with the reading, writing or grammar. It's almost time to pursue my career. Time passes really fast. The last time I would just talk about it, when the time will come? Now it's almost here already. I am eager to do it. I wanna succeed. Most of my friends are doing well, I wanna prove that I am doing better than them. I can do it, enough of waiting, it's time to fight this battle. Effort really nails it so let's do it! 

I am still deciding if I should go for the Korean language study since now I have to fork out some money, I might not go for it if I am given work opportunity, that would be better right? I just wish everything would get well soon. I am so mentally and physically tired worrying about it. Please. 


25 September 2016

Awan Mulan

Went to a retreat area for a short getaway. Awan Mulan was our choice. The place is nice, well organised and has friendly owners and person in-charge. It's really a good place from to rest from the city life. The thing is, the internet or line doesn't work good here, which is a problem to me, my problem since I can't survive without internet, I am city girl, I admit that. The road to and flow to the place is a little dangerous at night so it's good to go during the day before 6PM. For me the price per room for certain amount of person is a little pricey since it's not a hotel. You need to worry about the night since there's lots of bugs when the lights are on, my phobia! 

The room is connected, just that this is just slightly separated so this was the girls room. Not bad though. But it's a little hot when we arrived there so I took a swim in a swimming pool near our place, there's two swimming pools, ours the smaller one.  

The more public room since the 2 queen size bed is in the living room/near kitchen. The guys slept here, basically the all the windows and doors are open though during the whole day.  We even had BBQ and snacks for dinner. Koreans seems to be a big fan of mooncakes. :)

The view from our room, the forest, close to nature. The sound of the forest makes you sleepy during the night! The lullaby of the forest.  

This is the bigger swimming pool and it's nicer then the small swimming pool near our place. This big swimming pool is near the owner's property. I am envious with these people though. grrr. Basically the whole area is theirs and the internet line works well here as well!  

The oppa who constantly wants to model and keep asking me to take a picture of him, a nice one and here he go. =p

We swam during the night though for the big pool and this is the view during the night. Not bad, I feel so so with the place cause I prefer city but this place is really nice for those who love countryside. Wanna have bonding relationship and communication? This is the place.

After the trip, we went do dal.komm, our headquaters. Wasted some time there. I even manage to buy my vape juice while killing some time, it's expensive but I can afford to go for cheaper brands since I do not know what they mixed or trust-able. 

I ate so much for the past two days, gained much and it's time to loose back the weight by this week now, I do not want to gain what I have lost. After today, no more eating solid big stuffs! GRRR! AGAIN! 

24 September 2016

Fat Fat Day

I went to renew my passport yesterday! Went in the morning and there's already many people there waiting ! I thought I could skip a little the waiting part. But still, there's people who reached earlier than me! Those in the morning even need to collect their passport in the evening like me, moreover there's not many people in the evening, maybe I should have come in the evening instead of coming twice! Stupid local system, always so! Frustrating. 

Went to buy a new wallet since my old one spoilt. Wanted to buy swimming suit but there's no nice ones! So end up not buying any of it, probably will buy it online and see how once my salary in next week. Wanted to bring mum for shopping but I need to rush back to meet my friends so instead we went for a heavy dinner which we said we did not want to if we had a heavy dinner! This is bad but good at the same time. It's a Korean BBQ Buffet at Bambu House. It's okay though including the service, maybe it's because there's not many people yesterday! We are so full for the night! Even had bingsu at Sweettree, finally they have it but it's quite pricey though. Apparently we had our dessert free due to some problem which I try not to mention, but the service there is good! Thumbs up for the cafe! 

We enjoyed our meal together and I did not realised the time, which I hard to rush back, once I showered and get ready got a text from my friend that's he is coming over already. Thank god I make it in time to get ready myself. 

Their hotspot. I do not know how to spell the cafe name, Cafeniess? I don't really like the place, I do not know why people like it here. It's noisy and the live band only sings sad Chinese songs, boring. The hookah was not so good, the menu is pricey. definitely not my hang out place at all. 

I was out the whole day that I did not had time to clear my stuffs for today. I prepared everything right away once I reached home, since it's only one night, there's not much to pack though. I should be sleeping at this hour but am updating my blog now ~ Hope the trip is good as eventually I do not have the desire or hype to go though. Fingers crossed. 

23 September 2016

Not in the hype

I don't know what to say. More trouble after another. I don't have the hype to go but yeah, I still need to regardless. I am always the one who stays the furthest so yeah. I need to travel all the way to PJ as usual. I hope the trip is gonna be well though I feel not so good about it. I am just gonna stay silent probably. Pretend that I am fine and alright. That's what I am gonna do again as usual. Poker face. GRRR~ 

Need to renew my passport later today! I hope it's gonna be a quick one since I hate to wait! I am gonna go really early, I thought I can sleep in though it's my off day. Oh well, maybe on Saturday then. pfttt. I have all my time to sleep when I am back. I thought of changing my phone but I guess, I don't wanna do it now since I reformat my phone, I wanna save more money instead. I thought of bringing my old swimsuit but guess it won't fit now. HAHA! I grown tall okay! I wore it when I was in primary! If I can still wear it, means I did not grow at all ! 

No more shopping for phones. Save money alright? Need to save to buy swimsuit! HAHA! 

Nothing to type more. Boring day. Need to finish memorise. 

22 September 2016

When is it gonna settle?

It's getting more anxious and I am keeping myself as positive as I can, because I believe it will be resolve with a good ending. That's what I wanna believe. I just wanna get through this with a happy ending. It's gonna be good, it will. I don't wanna think negative at all. I have been dreaming so much lately cause I have been thinking so much before sleep. I am tired when I wake up. Anyway today is my last day of work for this week since I am having my off day tomorrow to renew my passport. Makes no difference since I need to wake up early on my off day. 

I am slowly achieving it but my body health is getting bad, I really should stop what I am doing right now but I did not. This is doing me no good at all. What the hell am I thinking? The symptoms are not enough ? I really should think about it man, lets' do it healthy please. I am scared as well. My health has been not quite good lately. 

Korean study has been good. Plan ahead till end of the year. So yeah, wanna see how the progress goes before deciding to  continue my Korean class and plan ahead for 2017 Korean study. My Chinese study has been really slow since I only study Chinese when I am at work but not at home, even weekends I am studying Korean or I am out. I can't seem to slot in Chinese to study, too much on Korean. Let's hope this pays off! I wanna do good in both languages before getting on with Japanese next year, hopefully. 

Great, colleague resigned and this week is his last week. I will be doing two person's job but my pay doesn't seems to be doubled as well. Next week much coming in, good thing but hoping for the better. It will. Have been positive about it! 

21 September 2016

Hopes and Wishes

It's gonna be end of the month but uncle hasn't contact us yet. Honestly, I am really worried but I need to be as positive as possible. I hope he keep his words cause we are having a really tough time now. It's just hard on us for what's left on us. I just wish everything would be better on us before New Year, in fact hopefully before Christmas. I wanna spend a non-stressful festive season. Oh please. fingers crossed. Like he said, be as positive as possible. Life doesn't always  go the way you want, life don't always have ups. There's down as well. We just need to go through it with a strong will. I believe we will get through this obstacles. We have already pass through one tough one. 

I feel so envious with people who's doing so well with life with a young age. I wish I can achieve that soon too. I am old enough and hoping next year would be it, my career is coming. I don't wanna achieved it at a too old age. I wanna own a nice house and car by 30! Few more years to go and I need to do it! BE POSITIVE! I CAN ACHIEVE IT! It's getting good soon! Right?!

I just can't wait to say this after 5-6 months! I am goddamn leaving this place, finally. It has been too long for the waiting and patience! I hope this worth the wait. I really hope. Fingers crossed. 

20 September 2016


The worries are getting stronger and stronger as we are running out of cash. I don't know what to do now, the uncle has not contacted us for some time, we are actually really worried right now. Desperately, we need a land buyer right now. With the economy now, we really hope to sell the land with a good price as possible. I just hope everything will resolved this month, uncle please contact us. We have not been sleeping well. We need to get over this obstacle. It's hard to imagine. I am so stressed and worried always. I am tired. 

Adding one, I haven't been loosing weight ever since, 3 more to go now because of myself. At first it was 2 more to go. I need to loose at least 1 more this week and two next week to complete or achieve my goal for the month! Please succeed it for this week the least, I wanna stop the bad habit before one year approached. I can't exceed a year, that would be really bad. I was suppose to work out long time ago and I haven't yet. That's why I hope to achieve the goal but this month and start maintaining my weight with exercise and healthy diet next month onwards! 

I stopped my Korean for a month, not sure when to resume. Next month or the following month? Because of my goal next year, I can't decide when to start or whether to start. I am suppose to finish my Chinese book and I have yet to finish yet. It has been so long and since expo is over, I suppose I should have more time now. I hope to finish by next month the latest though. Dragging too long, I wanna take the exam before I leave next year. I really hope everything goes well. I hope to earn more money next year. According to my sales manager, the salary offered is not a lot, so that gives me a heads up about the pay. I should talked about it when the time comes, the right and correct amount. Prays. 

Rest day enough, I need to find a day off to renew my passport, I need to go in the morning to avoid waiting for 100s! GRR! Hopefully to do it by this week! 

19 September 2016

Last Day of Expo

Yesterday was my last expo~ ended devastatingly. The economy is so bad right now that the sales are not so good this time! It's sad to see what the world has became now though. It's not easy to survive the outside word now, money is so important. As well as status! When is it gonna be my turn? I am still waiting, and waiting for the chance to come, and now I am searching along with it and I hope to achieve it pretty soon. 

I slept for only 3 hours again. It's really hard to survive through out the day, I was so sleepy and I need to do stuffs, so I walked around to stay awake though it's not easy. I heard that the crowd is better today but still there's not many cases still. I wish the world would get better. Apparently, vape is not good for non-smoker, better not to start. I am just gonna do it for leisure for a while and stopped once I get bored. I am always fresh with new things and get bored later that so yeah. Let me play a while. Probably gonna get a new flavour though. I need to finish the one that's opened within 3 months, advisable. Damn, I wanna try new flavour already!

I need to renew my passport later today! I hope I can make it this time!  I travelled all the way but there's none so I need to do it right now! HMPH. I even have to wake up early for it. Oh please! 

18 September 2016

The Adult Talk

Finally manage to fix the problem at work yesterday, such a hectic and can't sleep well! Woke up in intervals to solve the problem, I am really grateful with the supplier that helped. He's really an awesome man. The company is really lucky to meet supplier like him, for others, they would probably just ignore you. 

I planned to attend a little late for the meet up but never expect myself to be this late, since the aunties came. Chat with them a little, almost decided not to attend but end up I did. Many familiar faces as usual, not many Koreans to know and coincidentally, meet a friend of friend of mine, guess he did talked about me with her! I wonder what he said though, seems like they are really close. Oh gosh, reminds me of him and I miss the moment though, the probably one of the best birthday so far. I wish it happened more often though.

Later that meet the oppas to get my electronic vape! I am doing it without nicotine kay! I just wanna try for a few months probably. I need to make sure that I do not get addicted with it, met my friends while having dinner! Such a coincidence! I never mention any bingsu lately, guess the crave has stopped but after some time here we go. 

How nice of oppa to separate the red beans for me :) Feeling grateful that he still remembers. But this is okay. I no longer have this craze though. Lately it has been Starbucks new flavours, two more to go but I feel it's too expensive though. We talked like hours here till they closed! There's so much to hear and talk though. That explains the reason why I enjoy hanging around with people that's much older than me though.

We continue our conversation at his house though. Cozy area, love the place though but it's expensive. I wish I can afford the place one day, and it's near Korean town. My favourite place. Ahhhhh. 

My dad ended well today and I need to work later today. This is sad on a Sunday!