22 February 2017

So Close but did not make it. I need TO!

I was so close yesterday of succeeding it but I did not make it at the end, I shouldn't have started this bad habit and now it's so hard to stop! I am totally regretting it since it's affecting me badly, physically and mentally. Regardless with all these excuses, I still need to make it happen day by day, reminding myself second by second, I need to stop immediately. Don't drag anymore. It's dangerous! Oh please Jerica!

I went to the dentist again yesterday morning and ditch the dentist again cause I need to work and their service is getting slower and slower though. They used to be fast or maybe because I am doing scaling, they took some time to reach me. I went there twice and I ditch the place twice, without getting my RM2 refund. It's just RM2 so I didn't bother but I guess I would to to the one that opens on weekend on the following weekend since this weekend I will be outstation. I actually wanted to use my leaves to go to the dentist, but since I am going for a good hunt this weekend, it will make no difference after cleaning it so yeah, might as well after I come back from my trip. Sounds more legit though. I  don't think I am able to visit that clinic anymore with the slow service now. I think I wouldn't touch my weekday study and normal schedule anymore. Would do most things on weekends now since I don't put any books schedule on weekend. Outings on weekends only as well. That's the usual thing lately. So next month onwards, this would carry on. Lot's of things though. I am in the midst of preparing lots of things for March! I am working on my bad habit, I need to fix it before next week. I need to. Small portions are good enough, don't worry too much, don't over do it anymore! 

After this weekend, it's gonna be a busy weekend again. I arranged a meet up finally for the group next Friday. I need to go to the dentist in the morning, early in the morning. Since it's the government's, I will assume that I would need to wait and wait. So after that, I would do some test on my blood and some ECG test. Hopefully by then my new policy has enforced. If there's some time I would wanna do some blood donation. Everything is in order and at the right time. Otherwise, I would just donate on Sunday though. Fingers crossed by then I am already stopping it. Wait, I need to, regardless. This is so crucial for me to start already!  I actually thought of applying leave on this Thursday but I think I can't waste it. I need it for March though I would like to apply badly. 

The trip is ready, accommodation and places ticked and done! I think definitely I would be the driver for the trip cause I can't trust anyone else's driving skills at home. I am actually quite excited for the trip though cause it has been some time since I go for a trip with le family. I think it would be good, since it would e food hunting and some places to visit. I realised there's actually not many place to visit in Penang though. I have been to most places that I wanted to go. It's just temples mostly there and museums. My next destination badly would be Langkawi! I wanted to go there for a very long time but didn't get the chance to go. No companion and it's quite pricey too. I just feel like going to so many places for a holiday. It has been quite a long time. I miss my Penang and Melaka trip from last year already. Those days. 

Lately the person keep looking for me, I just don't feel good about it cause everytime when he pops up suddenly or out of the blue, he definitely served a purpose. Otherwise, he wouldn't popped out at all. Yes, this person treats everyone around him as an item, since he has it all. He can afford it. That's sad though, that what makes him a lonely person. Good friends would leave and those who stays, well, I am not sure. I am already very disappointed with this person so probably most things he does seems bad to me or I have been closing one eye for some time, maybe. I will try my best to think the positive still. I need to be good this year right. Chant song is playing in my room right now, everyday. I am thinking if I should leave it on during my vacation. The electric bill would be crazy. Let's see how during then. 

It's not easy to update a good resume for me since my English is not that great and that's why it's taking up time. It's also because I am someone with experience now, it's even harder. The other time it was easier because I was a fresh graduate. But now it's different. I need to write it professionally. I can do this babeh. So many things to accomplish. FIGHTING! POSITIVE! 

What a life. I hope there's gonna be more pictures for my Penang trip! 

21 February 2017

Time to be serious and keep moving forward

Enough of procrastinations. On a serious mode with my resolutions now. Time to work on things for real. It's a totally STOP right now! I can't continue anymore. Felt like my body can't take it anymore and this weekend gonna be a deep shit since I would need to go for a vacation and it's all about eating. Probably I could just have small portion but is that even possible? I am worried though. The least, I need to make sure this week is a success till Thursday! I am thinking how should I do it this weekend. I need to drink lots of the tea and make sure this week's place work smoothly. Eat at less portion and walk a lot would be a good thing! I CAN'T DO THE BAD HABIT ANYMORE! I CAN'T!

I am excited for my Penang trip with my family this weekend! Finally some trip after for so long ! One thing about trips that I am worried that it's about food and eat. That's Malaysian style but as for me, I like to visit places and explore the place, I am not bothered by food though. There's so much thing to plan though and I am not there yet since it's a last minute plan though. I am gonna finish it by today since I won't do any work related stuff or so at home, I would need to clean my computer still by this week so yea, I will carry on as soon as I reached home to do it since weekend am always out and not at home. I actually final met the Korean friend from conversation exchange last weekend and I was actually quite disappointed. Picture do deceives a lot! I am bad too, just friends is fine but he's weird. I am just frustrated that everytime I meet a Korean friend here, 80% of them are weird. Normal ones would leave soon or rarely you can find one that would really mingle with the locals! I want more normal Korean friends :( My good friends are leaving soon! I have no one to communicate and hang out with anymore. It has been just a week, I felt like I miss my friends already! 

Penang is a great place for vacation but not a place that I would want to stay, it's congested and the people are not so nice as I heard of. This weekend I would need to adjust my diet a little. Damn it though. This is stressed since I need to stop my habit! I need to anyway, just walk more! I actually visited most places I would like to visit my friends though. This time I would like to visit places that we haven't been yet! 

Felt like there's gonna be so many trips this year, but not sure if any of them would be a real thing. It's always easy to mention that we would like to have a trip with friends, but because all of us are working right now, it's hard to match our time to go for a trip. Especially for those who are already in a relationship. They can't divide their time well at all though. Perhaps this is what attached people like, not all but most of them. Will I be so? I wonder though. Hopefully though. The question is will I ever be attached even! TT

I really need to finish my resume by this week as well. I am already in the midst of hunting a little and hope to submit it by next week and tender by next week. My latest for stay on would be on April now. No later than that at all ! 

Trying to go healthy today onwards aside for this weekend. Wish me luck, I need to anyway for my own purpose since I am getting old. Work out right! 

20 February 2017

Resistance and STOP NOW!

It's never an easy thing to stop since I started it that's why it has been dragged for a year and it's a really bad thing that I stopped it so late. It's like an addict that's hard to stop. I just wish I didn't start it and did it in a healthy way. I don't like myself that love to rush things. Now that I started this and trying to stop it for my health purpose, I am having so much stress and tension and worries. I totally regret it, totally. I wish I hadn't started it at all so that I wouldn't need to suffer now, add on to my 2017 resolution now, delayed for a month for this year and not gonna delay anymore. It's no good and it's dangerous. There's many big warning signs to wake me up and last Saturday was a big one. So I made yesterday as my official last day. Works out starts today and that stops today, time to shape up with actions but not just words. Everyone around me is putting an effort now, I can't loose to them! I need to be success as well! So let's do it babeh! 

I am so lazy to attend meetups lately. Has been boring and there's no interesting people to meet as well. Where are all the slightly young and normal Koreans? Guess I need to go to Korea to find them! I really wanna leave this country and settle down in overseas. It's not easy these days but I am gonna believe that I can make it. I am already in the midst of updating my resume and hopefully to deposit it by this week! I should the least get ready my letter once I land a new environment. Hope the least I can get a good one before leaving the country though. I am just envious that some things just happen so smoothly for certain people but I would need to go to a tougher road but yeah, I will not lost hope. Probably this way would shape me into a better person and good lessons to learn. I  hope I would achieve my dream, goals and resolutions before I officially turn 30 years old. Time is ticking and I wanna do it quick, smart and in a good way. 

I just realised what I barely keep in touch with my oldmates. Felt like most of them are still at the generation pace or in progress. Not many has already pass that pace. Am I too quick? That's why I like to mingle with the matures and adults? Am I normal? Did that incident last to years shaped to who am I now? Probably and must be right? Everyone needs to undergo a deep experience to be mature and I guess lots of my friends hasn't been through yet I guess. I feel so though. I think I am still learning to cope with the social mingles. I am working hard on it to mend with any generations. This is the social world! It's really important as time goes by. I can't always be myself though. I need to follow the wave and act as it is. It's tiring but it would be good for me in future. Facts of life! LEARNT! It would be a good thing! 


19 February 2017

Health and STOP

Alright, I woke up quite early yesterday since I didn't really sleep late the night before cause I wasn't feeling quite well though. I managed to moved my mother board down now, more space on the table though! And Managed to clean the table plastic instead of buying a new one ! Saved, problem all solved. Brought mum around and paid my bills finally! My phone was barred actually since I missed out the two months, since I don't trust their system, I need to go all the way to Time Square to pay the bills, such a hassle! At least, I have evidence. On our way back, mum received an urgent call from her sister that her mum, which is my grandma is in a bad condition, gave us a short shock but apparently, she had an extremely low blood sugar. But that moment, really gave be a shock, before the parademic comes. I fee like, it's a big warning that I should stop and really mean it. It's my last warning that I need to stop and I promised that today would be the last day. I understand and felt shock at the moment because I know once I destroyed by health it's gonna be hard to restore. The worst part, I might trouble my love ones. So please stop already for real. It's gonna be a tough journey but I believe I can make it, I wanna stop it, eat healthy and work out for my own health purpose! I stopped coffee and ice/cold drinks totally already. Moving on to stop more things, fried food and snacks now. 

After waited for mum for like an hour, we went for dinner. As usual we always need to wait for the young ones and I really dislike going out dinner with them. Felt like there's always waste of time. Forget about it anyway. Waste of energy and time. Ate waffles for dinner after some spaghetti! It was quite  good though. Forgot to take some picture actually. Oh well, I will be back though. Seems like we are regular now. The environment of the cafe has changed a little. After the dinner, went back home to drop my family and changed to go for a second round! Met the old high school mates again, ate ice cream except for me since I can't eat anything cold or acidic now. In fact, I am in plans to cut down, but this time I totally cut down with those. A good start. As usual, Malaysian timing, always late and never punctual. Waited a while for another friend sat a while and moved to another place near our houses. This time, my friend get to introduce her long time boyfriend, Mr. Nice Guy. She's actually really luck though. We managed to find a new cafe that opens 24 hours around our area as well! These kind of places are getting more and more. This is a good thing! 

The environment is pretty good though but the waitress services are a little soso. Not so friendly. We stayed till quite late but not as late a before since I have appointment later today. Had deep chat again, but I think we shouldn't hang out too often, felt like we will run out of topics though but yeah, a good catch up and time to start with things. No more honeymoon and bad habits! Tomorrow is the start! Don't just say but do it! We were actually talking about arranging a trip together as well but I doubt that would happen though so yeah, I think I am not gonna mention it anymore cause I don't want to be the planner, troublesome and I am gonna be busy and tensed up soon since I need to fight against myself with the bad habit soon! 


18 February 2017

Serious and Worried.

The sign and symptoms are quite obvious lately and I don't know why I am not stopping it totally at all? Not afraid? I am but I am still doing it? What am I thinking? It's the second day of the pain yesterday! I hope by this weekend the pain will go off, otherwise I am in deep shit. I promised that I will start my Monday onwards. I need to and I must do it. I need to start everything before March 2017 reaches, I have already delayed two months and no more delays! I don't wanna regret it later so please! I have two months to be exact to work on myself so let's do it properly! LET'S ROCK THIS BABEH! So many so begin. I managed to find a way to restore my files but the programme required some fees, so I need to find alternatives to restore my files without fees! I am not loaded but soon to be! Still in the midst in settling this problem and hope to settle by next week. It's gonna be the real busy week next week since I was procrastinating last week. Just started some, bit by bits but got a knocked that I need to do it already! BRING IT ON ! 

My dog is getting old and I feel like getting another indoor dog. I just love dogs, if I am rich one day I would like to build a shelter for the dogs! These pictures were long ago when I still had them and they were puppies! My house was too small to accommodate the retriever so we have got no choice but to give him away, sad though. The toy poodle was bought by my parents but he ran away. He's really cute though he's really stupid most of the times. So hard to teach him, felt like he never learnt but I pity him at times, cause he always does his business in the house though we trained him to do it outside, at times we would leave him outside to learn. But yeah, I sometimes regret doing it, pity. 

I re-flashed the past a lot lately, I missed those days. Those young days and innocent, where we do not know much things and just study and play. What a life but now, there's so much to worry about and to do too. I am getting old. I am still not putting to regain my health while everyone around me is doing so. I need to do something about it. I really need to. I am considering next week onwards. PLEASE. Even my siblings are putting effort to look good healthy. What am I doing? I should be better instead right! Let's do it as well! Hard work, effort and determination ! DO IT NOW OR NEVER!  

I was close with my cousins when we were young but as we got older we slowly drifted apart, but we are getting the bonding back together once again though but not often since we are all grown up now and have our own programmes most of the time. And when they have kids, we will have even hang out times anymore. Time passes so fast! 

I missed the young me. Because of my habit I look awful now. I am destroying myself silently. I wanna regained and recover. PLEASE.

17 February 2017

Put A Stop

Signs are getting bad, the fatigue explains, the chest pain is worst now. It's time to put a STOP for real, stop dragging and postpone, the signs are bad enough. Don't make it far worst! It's not easy to restore the original good state, so please STOP already before it's too late. This week, this week. Totally none next week onwards! I am scared for the past few days but I am still doing it. I actually don't really feel well these days. It's a warning for me to stop. It definitely is and why did I still do it? I am not scared? WAKE UP! 

Since the new cupboard came in, I finally organised my room, from every corner since it's too late for me to realise that I am not supposed to move things, I will want to get a player to play a chant song while I am not in the room. I thought of using my laptop but it's not in a good condition anymore, maybe I will test it this weekend or see if there's any cheap player to buy though. Something would just play the song over and over or for long period of time. I just want that kind of player. Moreover I need to pay my phone bill this weekend cause I think my line is barred for two months late. Since I always need to go to Time Square to pay, it's hard for me to pay on time! Troublesome, cause their system sucks and I don't actually trust them. So I decided to go there and pay on the spot! At least I will have the receipt! 

Friend left for a holiday for on a week and I felt like I miss him already, without him around, I just can't call the rest out. That's a pity. Felt like only him makes me feel part of it :) No wonder he has so many friends back in his home country! I said I wanna hang out with them more, but yeah, it got lesser instead. One last trip together the least? I think we never went for overnight trip as four together before. I wanna meet more Koreans like them. It's really not easy though. Lately I found some, maybe should meet up and see how this weekend. Let's decide and plan.

I think my PMS is late this month or is coming soon cause my mood swing is crazy lately and I am tired and sleepy at the same time. I supposed to sleep early though. Why am I sleeping so late still? I am already not taking good care of my health already so this is not my good habit as well. I need to change by March, no more delays. It's bad enough. Oh please. By when can I eat normally? By the time I start working out! This weekend maybe? Running? The will and determination needs to be really strong ! I NEED TO! 

Besides cube toasts, I am also a big fan of waffles! I just love waffles! Totally love it, I can just eat it the whole day! I don't know why I love it, but it's really hard to find a good one in town! I never really ate one that's really good, maybe I haven't been to the good ones yet! Any introduction? A good place that has delicious waffles? My mum is pretty good in waffles as well and it has been some time since she made one! 

I hope in a month time I can eat my meals normally and I am in the progress of working out. My goal for next month. I need to make it and work things out. I need to get the talisman person to see mine at the soonest, I am quite worried since I moved things around. I know positives overtakes the negatives, I will continue to be :)


16 February 2017

Lost all my songs

I am feeling really sad that I have lost all my songs that I have downloaded for the past 10 years. It's not easy to have that collections and I guess it's time to get to know the KPOP from scratch again. I am not sure this is a good or a bad thing but it's taking off my time for sure. This is a great lesson I learnt. I need to save my files and stuffs at multiple places now. I need to have lots of back up from today onwards. Regrets, but nevertheless I will find alternatives to save as much files as possible. Feeling sad, disappointed and depress. 

I delayed again for two days. And I think that I really should start my healthy habit now because the pain is getting worst and it's really a bad sign, I have read many articles, once my health is damaged it would be hard to restore back. I don't wanna go to that extend, it's more than a year. I need to stop it right now, I am taking small meals every two hours till 4PM and once I reached home I will just drink a cup of yogurt 4 hours before sleep. I hope this will help. I really need to heal myself before it's too late, I know I have said this many times but this is seriously now, the pain is getting bad. I don't wanna kill myself, so please start it already! I wanna have nice figure but I am not doing anything, I only have two months to shape up my body though. I think Kahi from After School, used to has a nice body! Her abs is just admirable! She gave birth to a kid but still looking good! Work out is important, but I never really start it which I should actually. She's my inspiration. 

There's so many injections to do this weekend. Heard there's a free vaccine injection around so I am gonna get it though. Also, my blood donation and I need to do my blood test too, maybe after I fixed my diet this month and I will do it probably around mid-March, to have a better results though. I will make it to succeed my 2017 resolutions! I CAN DO IT! Not just being healthy or work out, I wanna achieve my career as well. 

I got a new cupboard for my room, no mum did. After shifting the furnitures in my room, I just remembered that my room position was not supposed to shift anything due to feng sui. I am feeling a little worried now though and my mum asked me to chant, I don't think I have free time to chant though, I guess the solution is to play chant musics in my room now, gosh. I totally forgot about it and it's unavoidable as well. I hope everything would still be fine. Fingers crossed. I need to be positive to overcome the negatives, the positives outweighs the bad! So no worries! Be positively strong that's enough! The least, my room looks so decent now! I have one cupboard to place all my stuffs! 

I wanna go for a holiday still! But I don't think I would never mentioned it any further, no one wanna arrange and I don't have time to do so. I am good at planning but I am not in the position to actually prepay first, sadly. If I am filthy rich than yeah, by all means I am glad to help but... sad life. And sigh, felt like we are drifting apart lately. That's sad to know though, how close were we and now, felt like total strangers. I feel it's such a waste though. Because of ego and the attitude, he is a lonely man. Probably he doesn't mind since he has money and probably to him, money buys happiness, sadly. 


15 February 2017

Rest Day and Depressed.

I had a rest day last Monday actually, sort of good rest. I broke the rule as well. I don't know what to say about myself and I hope the rest of the week would be a success instead. Too many excuse and hopefully no more breaks during weekdays! Means I can't to it this Saturday the least since I have done it last two days! I am feeling really depressed now, my harddisk suddenly not working and all my 50K songs that I have collected for the best 10 years gone just like that. I need some time to retrieve as much as I could. I even brought it to the centre to see if it can be be fixed, but no longer can be saved anymore. So I am feeling really depressed and disappointed now. I do not know how to begin to the search and all I know I am gonna spend 2 weeks or so collating back all my songs, from Korean, Chinese and Japanese! I can't even start my Chinese study now because of this, wanna retrieve as much as I could before I have mood to continue my study. Sigh. Being positive, I am taking this to re-clear my music files and re-arrange them properly. Rescheduling my plans. TT

I rarely have heavy meals during the day and if I have an off days, that's it, my diet plan is ruined so it did last two days. It has been some time I ate my favourite place's fish brinjal Yong Tao Foo and it's really good, still. I even went for a second round with mum for waffles and honestly, it's quite disappointing though. Cause she has always been saying that the waffles at 10gram is good, maybe she ordered the wrong one, not the signature waffle. So yeah, sad. But the gula Melaka Mochi is quite good. The cube toast is not as good as Mirru's though. We went all the way to had the waffles but.... :(

I am not feeling in the mood lately, PMS is not here yet, probably soon. I thought it came but stopped. Too much ice cream lately and I am so doomed. Supposed to start on Monday but delayed! I really need to be strict and determine about myself! No more excuse please, OH PLEASE ALREADY! NO MORE EXCUSES PLEASE. IT'S ALREADY THE SECOND MONTH! Dangerous! I NEED TO STOP! 

I am actually scared and worried, if I could find a better job and if I do, will I do well. I am also frustrated if I should find a MNC company or just a medium size company since I have plans to leave the country. I just hope that I will make the right decision. I really do, cause I wanna do things before it's too late and since it's action year this year! I wanna make the right path and road for me to walk. I don't want to waste more time, cause time is so limited! I wanna achieve my career at the soonest. This week, I am gonna worked on my resume and start browsing some job, hopefully to deposit some by next week and get some good calls. It's time to move on to a better place. My dateline/expiry date has reached and I should developed myself. It's not gonna be easy but I am determined to improve and developed myself in my career. I wanna walk down this rough battle to success. There's no easy road to big dreams! FIGHTING! 

I am keeping myself positive day by day! There's always a good things happens at the right time, just need to wait and not give and bring more actions to it, positive and good actions! I hope good people would come into my world along the road. I hope I will learn a lot along the road as well! 

14 February 2017

The Weekend of mine.

Well, I updated my blog in advance for the past few days but I am not gonna do it anymore though, probably. Went to the temple last Saturday and it was packed with people, for Chinese it was a vegetarian day not compulsory but most people would do it actually. No harm though but it was really a hot day. So because we are nearby PJ area and do not know what to do, we actually went all the way to Sunzay Giza for their weekend market, sadly it was really short though and not much things. Then, we headed back to Jaya One Mall to get some stuff and the mall did not had electricity for some time since we wanted to get some ice cream! Walked around for a while and the electric was back, hence ice cream time! We actually rushed back though, since both of us have dinner with the family. Finally, I get to eat SeChuan food, dishes! The food is unique to me though, but I wouldn't eat it often since it's oily and spicy. but it was quite good! There's so many China food in Kuchai Lama now! There's more to try though. Next round maybe. 

Also, last Sunday was my last day of bad habit. Actually planned with friend to go for a morning jog but end up we did not cause I was really tired and wasn't ready to start out my work out though. I manage to rest a while before going for some meetup. The location is too far, probably I wouldn't go again and I wanted to meet some people but because the person did not make it I just stayed for a while though. KD actually has lots of things to see though but it's too far for me to come often, sadly! Oh well it's okay. From time to time I can come, thought of meeting my friend but she's busy as always. I guess I would only find friends that would find me only now, not so free to entertain those who can't or don't bother to find me. Feeling sad.

Once I am back, had some dinner at home. Though of dinner out but end up did not since mum was exhausted so I cooked. Got called out for a chat session! Again, our favourite place in Sri Petaling, my another active hang out spot now lately besides Solaris Mont Kiara!

NO MORE ice cream, sweet stuffs, snacks, fried foods or anything cold anymore. No more coffee as well, I don't wanna get addict and lost my teeths so yea! This is the begining already! I CAN DO IT! I NEED TO DO IT! Probably I would to it only weekend and totally stop next month onwards but weekdays is a totally NO! 



13 February 2017

The Beginning of My 2017!

Today marks the official day of my 2017 which means there's lots of things for me to do now. I need to start my healthy plan and I have already set everyday ready for me to give it a start! Suppose to start Chinese study when I am back but my harddisk is giving me problem so I am gonna delayed it a week. I think I can start work out as well and I need to sleep before one to avoid myself from being tired. The hunting will be carry on during the day! So yeah, all plans are done and time to rock 2017 resolutions! Fingers crossed. It's gonna be a bright year for sure! Be determine and be positive! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN ACHIEVE MY GOALS IN 2017! IT WILL BE A FRUITFUL YEAR!

I somehow felt a little distance with my oppas, I don't want to let that happen. Hopefully to do some bonding when oppa comes back from Korea! Gosh, he's gonna be a week there. I wanna go there as well. I really need a holiday though! Sigh! When is my furn, I don't want to be envious anymore. I wanna travel too! I need to save, I hope to leave this place with a good opportunity before mid year. That's my biggest goal of the year! I need to find a place that is able to fix oppa's electronic cigarette, otherwise I need to buy a new similiar one! The unnecessary spending due to my carelessness. I actually missed those days we spent more time together, felt like attached people has no more time for friends or maybe me myself is just too busy. Sigh. I wish there will be more good moments before we depart. 

The Globin effect it still not totally went away, it's still here and with me. I am not sure how long it would last but yeah, I am still loving it! I don't remember if I posted these pictures but these ahjeoshis are really good looking, close to my cup of tea! Where can I find these kind of guys locally! TELL ME! 

The latest dramas are just so boring now. I skipped a lot too, I want more dramas like Globin though it's a little not in reality but yeah I feel related and touched with the storyline. I can't wait for the writer's next drama! I hope it's gonna be good as well! Looking forward though, I heard she's already in the midst of casting, please only cast the good actors, not idols please. Give some chance to new actors to SHINE! 

I really dislike it when my message is seen but not replied. I felt like I am nothing though. At least, give some response that would be nice. I am not that kind of person unless I dislike you. But I usually keep people informed or updated. These bad habits of others just made me don't wanna message them anymore which I think I would do it from today onwards. I am gonna do it, trust me. I really hate unreplied messages!