30 September 2015


This is depressing. I am back to normal after a month effort. This is damn fast but to achieve it is damn slow. Now, I am only left with a month. What the fuq? I seriously need to pay attention to every single details and steps from now on every single day and seconds. I only know I keep saying so but still breaking the rules. So fcuked up. I am so angry with myself. Tonight will determine everything! PLEASE !

Today is the last day of September! Time passed. 


29 September 2015


I seriously hating myself. I said it to resume yesterday but I did not instead I add on to it. What the hell am I doing? It's already gonna be October soon and I am no longer close to the target. This is really upsetting. Oh please stop already! Everyone has done it and I need to as well, so I can talk freely about it too. I don't want to keep myself silent every time the topic was brought up. Feeling intimidated. I don't want that to happen anymore. Really.

I finally had enough sleep! I was so tired that I don't really bother what's happening in the surrounding whether it's noise. but yeah, I need to finish my final chapter and draft my notes by this week. Need to start TOPIK really soon. Only left with 3 months this year. Time is ticking. 

My blog has less pictures lately. oh gosh, what to post more about pictures though? Hmm. Ipoh this weekend, so make it happen for this 4 days. The challenge is when I am at home. that's the hardest part. Let's be strong and keep it till the end! 

28 September 2015

Time to Resume

It's time to resume what I have started. Been way away from the plan now. Feeling guilty, so much of excuses. I feel like taking MC or off today but since I already took my leave for this Friday, Let's just bear with it for a few days. Therefore, going in a bit late today. Feeling exhausted, still. 

Yesterday night was my limit, I am already so tired and there's so much of noise in the middle of the night. I have never seen such thick skin people, that thick in my life. Worst part that the person is related to me. If it's the first time, OR MAYBE more leniently to be, 2nd or 3rd time, I still let go. BUT THIS TIME, I AM NOT. I got up and stood for everyone's right except those two scums. Brought friends back at 3AM, made so much noise without even considering there's people asleep at that time. When scolded, the person laugh inside, I don't know that's the right night for this kind of people anymore. Cause I felt that scumbag isn't enough to fit the person, worst than an animal. Only think about themselves. These days teenagers are deep shit. 

If there's anything that I wish to retreat when I was young, it will be having more siblings. I am totally regretting it. I wish I was able to predict future. Positively, I always think it's a challenge of life to deal with this kind of society in life. Cause there won't be always good person around me. I have people from bad, scum, ungrateful and so on so far this year. Just a year, I seen so much. Human is more scary than anything else in this universe. 

27 September 2015

Indonesia, Medan

In a few hours I will be flying to Indonesia. I am feeling so sleepy now. That's one thing about flight times. Odd hours. Every time we go travel, this is it, waking up at odd hours. So exhausting. I still admire people who travel so often. It's so tiring. I only slept for a few hours. I am not use to sleeping early during weekends, unless I have something to do. 

I am curios with what I am gonna do during my visit. Don't know to say whether if I am looking forward but I can't wait to come back and have a good sleep at the soonest. Definitely will during my 1 hour flight. Safe flight! 

Not much to say during so early in the morning. Not much activity during the day yet. but yeah, seriously it's the last day today already. 


26 September 2015

No Time for Myself

I have not much time for myself at all. I can't finish my Chinese cause I was busy going out all the time doing things. I have so little time left. One thing I am frustrated, I am always using PMS as an excuse! I will never succeed by giving this excuse so often! I need to stop! Next week onwards, I have more walking to do. Hope this time with this addition, it will be a quick one. Felt it's only that keep adding. So sad. 

Tomorrow I am flying off to Medan, Indonesia. My first business trip. Anyway, it's just a day trip though. No big deal. One experience that is, my first. Oh gosh, I am nervous a little. Meeting different culture. Need to get use to this for future.


25 September 2015

Off Day

I said I would actually update my blog later today but I am having some time now. So, I am updating currently. I am bad at estimation and now I am waiting for my class to start. Shouldn't have some so early and sleep a little longer. Ahhhhh. I prefer weekend class cause there's more people. Not so boring and awkward. HAHA! 

There's so much to do and I do not have much savings to do. I spend way too much when I started working. Now that I have some of my own commitments, it's not easy to save. Especially when the expenses so expensive this era. That's the not so good thing when you don't do sales, only depend on fixed salary. Guess I need to figure ways to widen my financial. How should I start? 

I only left a month. Tick tock tick tock. Hope to be able achieve. So much to do today. 

24 September 2015

Public Holiday

Today is a public holiday! I am off for tomorrow too! How nice is that! but I need to work on Sunday! Looking forward yet nervous. Just hope to finish my Chinese by tomorrow. Wanna clean the house on Saturday!. I hope it's a good start for Sunday. I really do. I have been longing for this. At least, something close happened. 

I am happy that I manage to achieve some result for this month. This week hasn't been any result so far. Can't seem to achieve any further. I hope by next month it's the full result already. I can't wait any more. I am tired, stressed and getting frustrated. 

I also need to start taking care of my health. I think it's important for female as am aging. That's really sad. I think health is important, if you're not, no matter how rich you are, it's pointless. I am starting to get this point ever since my dad got sick. I realise how important is health and family is. Friends? I am scared already ever since that incident. I hope she get what she deserved in future. I don't wanna care anymore, In fact, I don't anymore. Let's faith solve it. 

23 September 2015

Business Trip

I was informed by my boss to attend an Antenatal Talk in Medan, Indonesia. I haven't even work for them for a year and they planned to send me there for business trip already this Sunday. I am not sure to say if it's a good thing or not and I am going along though. My first trip to overseas alone, something I have been wanting for quite some time. It came true but I hope it's a good start already. Really. I am still so new with this business trip thing. Hope can gain something. 

I have done some research on Visa Working Holiday. The expenses is the killer. I don't think it's possible without more than 30K, to be save. How am I gonna collect this much? Accommodation is the killer one. I need to find a way I guess. This is frustrating, when you need to support yourself. But when you done it, you will really proud that you done it on your own and that's the best part. 

For the first time I am driving to work today. Guess I won't be back till night time. Need to finish off my replacement class. Thank god I am replacing my class on Friday. At least, a break before Sunday. Feeling a little anxious already though. Wonder what I need to do there. Hope to get some briefing today. Hope nothing much as well. 

22 September 2015

Sleepless Night

I did not had a good sleep for nights. Maybe that also cause my health to deteriorate so much. Why? I have said this for many times before. Bring friends over. Make noise in the middle of the night. That's just them. Ignorant bastards. Only for themselves. I hope justice serve them right one day. I really can't wait for it at times. Just pissed me off. Now, I need to wear earplug to sleep every night. I know it's not healthy but I have got no choice. I hope this sacrifice will bring me justice one day. Patience. 

I have got so many shows piled up but I am not starting yet. Not till I finished my book and about to start my TOPIK. I am laid back for a month now. 3 more months to 2016 and I need to speed a lot of things up. Time is ticking too fast year by year. This is so scary. 

Even during my odd days I need to wake up early. Since I am replacing my class on weekend to this Friday, I can sleep in this weekend! Hooray! Free weekend finally except some packing need to be done but yeah, that's fast. No worries.

Lately, I am looking into working holiday visa but the only countries that offer for Malaysian is only New Zealand and Australia. They used to have UK but they stopped. Otherwise, with no doubt I would go for UK!!! Too bad. My second option is USA but doesn't seem to have. These two countries weren't really a place I desire to go. Let's see how it goes. I need to do some research this few days about this. 

21 September 2015

Lee Ki Hong

I am so into Lee Kihong lately! Yes, I know he's married it he's cute! I love Asians who brought up in Western places cause it is my dream. I still wanna leave aboard. I hate it here. I wanna leave as soon possible. I am already close enough to move more with my plan. There's gotta be a way. Don't give up this dream. I am really envious. I never had this chance or yet. These people are so lucky. Hope mine is coming too. 

I wonder when these people gonna grow up. This time I am not gonna sit still. I am gonna voice when I need too. I have the right am and I will do so I'm future now. Don't play so with my brain, scumbags verbal abuser and flirty for guys scum. Already laughable enough. 

At least there's some result but I am gonna try speeding up this week. Will try my best. Need to prove remember..? Blog so wordy lately. 

I think these colors are nice but I don't think I would dye my hair as whole. 

20 September 2015

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

The Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials was quite awesome though. There were so many cute guys! Lee KiHong looks so young though he's almost 30! That's crazy though. O'Brien is cute as well, Thomas. Surprisingly the show was nice though. Worth watching and so much better than Hunger Games. I still don't understand why is this movie so famous. I don't get it at all. 

Finally able to sleep in today. No more early mornings. But yeah. I spoilt the weekend again, as always. This week is the last week. So small figure in one month. I need more. I need quicker result. I need to be more strict with it tomorrow onwards. I always say so but end up NO. It's all up to me now. Time is ticking. 

So much to do. Adios! 

19 September 2015


I see the slight result but it's really slow and that is frustrating enough. Anyway, had an awesome catch up with my high school friends yesterday! It has been so long since we met. Must be busy with life as we grown up! but we can't forget to catch up from time to time! how nice to see one another growing up time to time. Times passes really fast and it's really scary to know that.

Oh yea! The waitress in the cafe was quite cute and yes he is a Korean. I guess he can understand Mandarin as well cause when I said he is good looking (which I do not remember) he smiled. Gosh, how embarrassing. When I said something in Mandarin, he replied in Mandarin! So that explains my question! He can't seem to understand English well, so I manage to make use of my Korean. Oh boy, thinking about it makes me smile. Has been so long since someone did. He's cute! Almost a year since I was there and there's a new staff already. I guess I need to hang out there more often now. :P

Today will be my whole day class. Tired thanks to bunch of considerate scumbags. but exciting cause I am learning the language I wanted to learn for so long. wait just writing and reading okay cause I can already speak which the other way from Korean. TT

Anyway. time to go. anyong!

18 September 2015


It has been some time since I update my blog in the morning. Finally it's TGIF. but I still need to wake up early tomorrow too for my class. I am glad to do so cause I enjoy learning! Tonight and tomorrow night will have some activity. Finally, some thing to do. I can't sleep well these few nights due to health reason. but hopefully I will be fully recovered soon. These days my blog has been dull without pictures. Gonna post some onwards. I have been procastinate for 2 months, wasting my time. Therefore, I would need to be serious onwards. As I only left with 3 more months. Look at how fast time passes. This is so scary. Even my birthday is approaching. I don't want to age another year. This is sad. 

So much to do but so little time. Guess this is life yeah? The haze is getting better but it's still bad to me. Hope it will be gone for real soon. Health is really bad with this kind of weather and it has been raining quite often this few days. Don't really like the gloomy weather. Feeling unhealthy though. 

Anyway, take care everyone! Drink more water and less outing if possible. Wear a mask if you do! Heath is important! 

17 September 2015

Getting better

I hope I am getting better already. Can't consume too much for now. Resting all day, never like me. So much to catch up. No time to get sick. 

16 September 2015


I was feeling all alright yesterday till this morning, I started feeling nausea and diarrhoea.  I thought by taking some medicine would be fine but it got worst during the evening. No choice but to come back with MC. I really tried to avoid so but I can't help it ad. Even know I don't feel perfectly well blogging about it. I hate being sick. This time, it's for real. 

So much emails just a few hours early off. that is crazy. Again, much to do when I am back to work. I need to get well soon. There is so much to do on my list! 

About to rest again.


15 September 2015


The haze has been really bad this few days! What are these people thinking doing such a big open burning? Don't just think about yourself, think about the world where billions of people who are living in this earth! It has been unhealthy enough why adding on to it? Sick. Can't even breath well on this earth any more. 

I am getting sick with the operation but I still need to withstand it. I don't know where am I getting too. I feel old and I need to achieve it fast. I wanna contribute more than depending. This is not part of my plan. I need to find a way. Suffer while I am still young. Before it's too late that is. I need to enthusiastic with I need to do now for both! Career and myself. I have a reason for these and I need to achieve them. Myself, I left only a month and I will try my best with this killer addiction.

There is always a way. Find it till the end and you will. 

14 September 2015

Hate Depending on people

I hate depending on people especially now that I am out in the working society. I thought a lot about my request. I know I shouldn't but I am forced to be firmed with the decision. I don't do things for no reason. I just wanna live on my own fully one day. Really hope so soon. I really hate not living in a shelter of my own. When you're not you have no say and they do. I wanna make myself the power. I am sick of being lecture for nothing. I don't do things for no reason. I HATE THE WORD DEPEND. I am just envious of others. Really do. What have I done in my past life? 2 years in the working society and I am still not there yet. I want to do everything on my own like others. It feels awesome, unlike now. When people wanna speak, find the right facts to speak about, In fact, strong and solid ones. You don't bring up some nonsense and the person shoot back with a strong solid fact and you end up babbling crap just to make the person feel bad. I am sorry, that doesn't work on me. I won't work the opposite of what you have said, but exactly the same as you said. 

Yesterday, was the last day of expo. It was exhausting but quite fascinating. I stood and walked almost the whole day. I noticed that there's many great looking husband and wife out there. Also, pregnant ladies. The result of the expo was quite amazing though. Probably the best among all. At least, I am not that boring! 

Don't offer your help if you wish to have something in return or even mentioning about it all the time. If so, DON'T BOTHER TO OFFER AT ALL IF YOU WERE ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! That's not even a good deed or something nice at ALL! That's not SINCERE! 

13 September 2015

Koreans in Utoro

I have been watching a lot of Infinity Challenge lately, yes! Back again cause of GD and Taeyang.. The show is nice but lazy to catch so many at a time so I stopped for quite some time. Not till the YG started to appear in the show. From then, I started to watch it. The episodes were sad! They delivered food to those who live far away from family/hometown or parted from family due to adoption. From last week's episode I couldn't stop shedding tears. Especially this week's episode. Really sad for those Koreans who lived in Utoro, Kyoto, Japan. They were forced to labour for the Japanese back during those War War II times, but left unbothered during then. Why did they not manage to return homeland? They were too poor to do so. No one did anything to bring them back till recently they raised a fund to provide them a better shelter since Utoro will be demolished for the modern now. It has been the 3rd generation of the Koreans over there now and the one and only, last granny who's still living in the village, 91. She looks old and fragile. When asked if she missed her hometown and if she wants to go back, she said no but in her heart, I am sure she does. HAHA has been a great person bring back those memories for her and even cooked for the villagers. But during the last day, I myself couldn't hold my tears when they depart. So hard to say goodbye. They were treated illy and not appreciated. That's sad about the Japanese. I can understand the hate. I really do. 

I really should be sleeping right now but can't resists to watch. Next episode will be sad too. HAHA always get the sad one and I cried a long, will. Can't wait to watch already! 

Today will be the last day of expo and I am exhausted. Stand the whole day. Walk around a lot and I can't feel my feet now. The first time I have been so busy during an expo. The last round for the year hopefully no last minute participation. 

12 September 2015

Work during Expo

I spilled things I shouldn't to someone I just know not long ago. Maybe I should stop though. Why did I said all those thing? Shhh. no more. It will be hard later on. Oh well, I will be at the Mom & Baby Expo 2015 in Midvalley these 3 days. Though I don't feel I really need to be there. Waste of time but fun at the same time. At least, I have someone to talk with this time. Unlike the other time I was all alone, have no one to talk too. Waking up early during my weekend is a little sad though cause I want to sleep in ! 

I feel so tired now actually. Wake up early. Work almost the whole day and come back late. Tomorrow it gonna be even more late due to packing. What a life. I wanted to change my phone, but nah, better not, save money. Cannot spend money anymore! Yesterday, I totally spoilt it so today it's gonna be a strict one and tomorrow. One day and night it's already a killer. No more doing so man. I need fast result that it. Otherwise, I can't catch up with the time! Time passes too fast! It's scary and I am getting older already!

I will need to miss my Chinese class today. Lot's to replace and to finish up. Hope I can catch up with the speed soon. Missing much. Lot's to do but so little time. Oh gosh, I need more time to do things. Time oh Time. Please stay longer. 

11 September 2015

So close

I am closer to what I wish to achieve! Hopefully at speedy result! 


9 September 2015

Lots to DO

This week has been busy, work or home. I am both am and I do not know why. I need to work this weekend. This is so sad though. But at least. this would be the last even in KL of the year. I have so much drama lining up and pile of TOPIK papers to finish. Oh gosh, I wish I have more time. Now that I started Chinese, my time is even more packed! This is getting so exciting.

Slowly getting closer to the figure, Please stay strong till the end. Don't break the promise again. It's really bad!

Blogging everyday is boring. I can't basically write everything I do everyday. Maybe I should update once a while? Aite? When I have something nice to talk about maybe.

I am so into tattoos lately! HELP! 

7 September 2015

Busy Full Week

This week I would be really busy! Need to work for seven days in a week for this week due to event! I am gonna be tired and there would be no rest till next. I am still deciding which day to replace my class and when should I take my replacement leave though. It's so hard to decide. Need to look on the calender later though. 

I always tend to not sleep well on Sunday nights. I wonder why. Maybe cause I am tired on weekdays so I am able to sleep well. I put a day off yesterday and I need to pull it off the whole week now. Let's see the result and hope it's gonna be fruitful,really. Just wanna shut these people mouth speechless.

I wonder how a Korean boyfriend would feel like. It's hard to find a Korean dude that's around my age over here. Most of them are uncles or too young. That's so sad. Anyone can introduce to me if you know? :P It has been so long since I talked to a Korean friend since last Friday. I wanna start to mingle around more again. Maybe after this hectic month? and changes! 

My confirmation should be around this week or I shall say this month, I don't know if I should remind them or just wait till next month. This is so unprofessional though. or maybe they just forget. I don't know. I feel sad and disappointed if so.

6 September 2015

Mandarin Class

Yesterday was the first day of my Mandarin class. It was fun because I manage to catch up fast as I can already speak and understand. Writing and reading seems fun too ! Can't wait to master them! 3 hours class wasn't boring and tired at all when you're so busy learning what you like though!

I feel like taking Japanese class too but too much to catch up. I am already having not enough time. So yeah. Let me master this two languages for the time being. Hopefully in a niche of time! 

I was out since morning till now. I am so sleepy actually but want to finish up my shows so that I can do some cleaning later today. So much to do but so little time. I wish there is more time. Manage to watch 2 movies in a day and both wasn't impressing at all. Movies these days just not worth watching. Horrors which is my favourite, not as appealing anymore. Guess people are running out of ideas there days. Not easy to come out a creative concept anymore and yet scary. I miss James Wan's movie! Can't wait for The Conjuring 2 !

Guess I need to sleep soon. There is so much to settle within a day. Infinity Challenge episodes lately has been quite touching. Before this was music festival and now it's sad. Looking forward with next week's episode. Sending food to long lost families living aboard from South Korea. Some even still finding their family. Great show I shall say. 

5 September 2015


I went to Matta Fair after work yesterday! The crowd was still quite okay probably it was quite late. The RM4 entry was quite worth it since I have got much information. I wanted to go again today but I have something to do the whole day. Maybe tomorrow but the crowd is gonna be crazy and their information books might be finish! Should I take the risk? I am still thinking though whether if I should go again. The Korean guy is cute and helpful! I felt like he wanted to chat more. Awwww! He is studying English over here. I bet he is really young though. That is so sad. 

I confess the mistake and I feel lighter now. I was worried that she will scold but she thought an solution to cover it instead. Feeling thankful though. Will be more careful onwards.

Today is my Mandarin Class! Exciting for the first class but it's too early in the morning! and it's weekend too. aww man. 

4 September 2015


I just realised I did a huge mistake yesterday but it was too late to realise. I wanted to ignore it but I feel I need to confess the mistake. Whether they will scold me or punish me, I really do not know but I really didn't meant to overlook that mistake. I even send to them for checking, even so, they overlook it as well. Too dependable. In fact, can't only depend on a one stand person who has so much to do to proofread only. I am wondering now. Today will determine everything. Wishing all the best to myself. Feeling stressed and nervous at the same time.

I tried out the fake tattoo that I bought! looking nice though. pretty like it. feel like getting a permanent one instead! I tried out the other day, but the tattoo failed. Guess it was too small so stick. but this time it's awesome! debating if I should get a permanent though. I do not know when suddenly this urge came. Actually for some time though. I feel it's cool to have a tattoo but not too many of course. It will look hideous. but as for Jay Park, I feel it looks cool on him for some reason. 

There's so many new idols who debut lately. I can't even catch up anymore. Keeping myself with my old idols. At least, they average age is close to mine. New idols are too young now. Feeling old at the same time though. Wonder how long will my kpop craze last. It has been quite long. Never thought this fever would last this long though. Hope it will last longer than ever!

Wish me ALL THE BEST TODAY, please. 

3 September 2015


If I can predict future, I would like to retreat that wish that I have said. but it's all too late for everything now. impossible to even turn things back. I didn't know people would be this scum bag and selfish. If I would have know, I would have.... No point saying it now. It's too late for anything. Just need to bare with it and ignore it. Wait, I started using it. Great, naturally. 

Well, my long awaited Mandarin class is this weekend. Would be 3 hours long! I am taking the 8 classes a month. I would be packed busy soon revising and revising for two languages. My Korean, how should I improve man? I still feel suck at my grammar! Taking class is too expensive neither. That's sad. 

I really hope next year would be a really good one. This year was really a challenging year that most of us have been through. I hope brighter year is coming ahead. I know it will. It will. Be positive and patience! 

Yeap, I woke up extra early for an hour. Why? As refer on first paragraph. Disgusting humans that I don't even want to look upon. Regrets.

2 September 2015

Day 2

Day 1 was quite okay and it's Day 2 now. Please be successful till the end of the day. A dream come true for once at least.. I feel so moody this few days. PMS probably. Stress about career and myself, as always. Sometime that is not hard to achieve if I have a strong will myself. My posts get shorter and shorter day by day. I guess if I write everyday, I have not much things to say right? 

Hopefully tomorrow there 's no more excuses like today but I doubt since boss offered a threat. I am so dead though. Oh why? Cause finally I have a colleague. I don't know what to say and I am not gonna say more cause I don't know who I am dealing with everyday yet. Let's be more cautious and careful. You will never know. Blogging early for the day.

Within this two months the last, let's do it. reminding myself everyday and I need to make it! Caught in the rain just a while but soaking wet and I already having slight fever. I need to admit I am getting old. During those high school days, I use to walk under the rain often but standing strong for the rest of the day or should I say the world is so polluted these days that the rain is so toxic? Probably. 

HUAT year coming ahh! POSITIVE! PATIENCE! Succeed before 2015! In fact before November. Before Christmas! Woots! 


1 September 2015

The first Day of September

Right. Today is already the first day of the new month. Tick tock tick tock. Another month has passed which means 2016 is coming soon! Need to make use the remaining time I have now. Time is precious!

Running Man hasn't been as interesting as it use to be. I never really watch it for a very long time. I use to laugh like mad and watch it all without skipping but now, I skipped a lot unless there is special guest or something. I miss the old games and casts. They are more funnier compared to now. I was hoping they can bring back the old games though. More exciting and fun! 

I actually finished my drama list. But I piled them up again after I found a new website. How amazing is that. I am challenging shows without subs now. That even piled up my shows. Hope to finish them by this week! was suppose to start my revision this week. excuse for just 4 days aite!

Wonder when should I launch my business. This week? or after the 7th month? hmmm.