29 August 2016

Fat Week

It's gonna be a really fat week since I am going to Penang for a trip and Penang is all about eating and eating. I am so dead though. Even yesterday I let it go already. I have been eating a little heavy. I have got no choice but to let go a little this week for the trip otherwise it won't be fun though. I am gonna be so stress after this week! I hope I don't gained much after the trip otherwise it would be so tension that I need to loose back everything again. This is so tiring though. I really wanna loose more not gain!

I slept at 6AM yesterday and woke up at 11AM just to message my boss to approve my holiday for this trip. I have already told him beforehand so yeah, hope it's fine though. Then slept back and woke up at 12PM to get ready for a meet up. At least, I have some time to finish revise my homework/notes so that I do not need to rush during then night. The meet up yesterday was quite okay though, surprisingly. Met new cliche. I might attend more often after today though. Had a light dinner with the awesome people and had a cup of Starbucks. Head home. 

Packed my stuffs for Penang and probably need to buy some stuffs. I haven't even do the research yet, I should do it already. I need to finish my notes as well. Gosh so much to do and rush. 

28 August 2016

The Weekend

Oh well, as usual the weekend is well spent. Was busy the whole afternoon. Finally get to finish my work and got it checked. I was hoping that my last minute leave will be approved though. I wanna have a short get away. I think I need it lately though. I hope the boss will approve it anyway since I have already informed in advance last week though. Oh well, fingers crossed. 

Went all the way to Bangsar's pub for a drink and yesterday night I just feel like drinking so I drank a little. I feel like drinking more but I stopped instead. I should have maybe. Tonight after I finish revising my notes? Let's see how it goes. I will need to drop a message to my boss later. Nerve wrecking though. 

The environment was quite okay but it's a little noisy though and really crowded. As usual I do not really like too crowded place so we actually switched to another place. Less crowd but still noisy. This kind of places. 

Nothing much to say. Just wanna finish my work ASAP. 

27 August 2016

No More

Well, due to my passport problem, actually I didn't see this coming though, I can't travel to South Korea anymore next month. This is so sad but it's also because it's too sudden though. So yeah, I would still renew my passport by this week since I would be busy next month onwards. I will find some time to do it then. I heard it's gonna be packed with people though. I hope I can do it within a day or half at least, I don't wanna stay there long, I hate long queue and waiting period. 

OMG, another two more and I am still not there yet for the pass whole week, I failed today, I was suppose to do all liquid but did not make it during the night. I am gonna do it again today and please be full day! I need to achieve by next week with just two more though. I CAN DO THIS! Yesterday was a little the moody day, maybe it's because I am really tired though, trying to finish my grammar listing to proceed to memorise the vocabs and too much of thinking, whether I should or should not, I would save some money though. 

That's it for today, it's just these few days I am moody and I have been caught, that's really amazing though. I salute! 


26 August 2016

Deep Shit

I even have this though of putting the next week as the last week of my bad habit to fully achieved it. I drank so much drinks today that it fluctuated my results now. I totally cutting on it hopefully on the bad habit and was hoping to just do it once or thrice a week which means next week would be the last, I can't do it continuously now, I am 100% sure of it now. My results is dangerous now. I am going strict today and the weekend to loose back. Wondering why do I need to torture myself. I have already changed all my wallpapers to Hyuna as inspiration! Even for my both phones! I need to do it ! I wanna achieve it by next week. I said I wanna do tone up for a long time, this is it, this is the time.

I am not putting really high hopes, but I feel I really need a break if the plan is real but I somehow doubt though. Yes, I am a very doubtful person, to be save and to avoid myself from being disappointed, that's it. I am scared of the feeling already. Been through it, therefore makes me more cautious now. Fingers crossed. I am gonna be so busy for the next two months. So many friends have been calling me out, it's so hard to fill up my time now, never a weekend I would be home. I want to find a weekend that I can be home at least to rest, but I need to work next month onwards. So basically, it's all about earn money and no rest. wish me luck people. 

I have been really emotionally lately, miss my dad. Worried about my carrier and my weight as always. House financial, sometime tells me that September would be it, everything would be settled. It will be right? Let's all be positive right? I am mentally stressed and physically exhausted. Worried this and that, genuine or not, will or will not. Just wanna let go everything, have everything, and go for a holiday to relax my mind. But financially doesn't permit the wish now. Working hard chasing the dream, I will make it soon like the others I admired. 

I wanna rewind time, change things and have a better life. I wish I can. I wish I am not dreaming, I wish I am dreaming at times too. My life has been a roller coaster, a really exciting one. 

25 August 2016

Little bit more to GO

I have little bit more to go, two more to go. Omg, I really hope by next week, I have already achieved it. This is so nerve wrecking, it worked last two days more than the original but today it stays the original, I just wanna stop the bad habit entirely. It's gonna be a year soon. I can't exceed a year. I am so dead. So close yet so far. I NEED TO SUCCEED IT!

It's gonna be September next week. Time passes so fast and this is so scary! I am not ready for 2017 yet! I smell that the honeymoon is over already. Time to catch up with the plans, the time is up. I have so much to do and begin and to fight the battle. It's time to get up high. 

I just wish I can have one night good sleep. Without dream, without waking up in the middle of the night to go to the washroom. Waking up during intervals makes me tired during the next day, really. 

I really can't understand Korean at all. I can't break through their well ! It's so hard to know really exactly what are they thinking actually! 

24 August 2016

On Schedule

Oh well, I am finally on schedule with my Korean study, in fact in advance though, even took out all my textbooks to list out the grammars for my essay writing. Left with the final vocab listings! My grammar homeworks are getting harder so yeah, I need to revise correctly more often. 

I can sort of guess the type of person and action though, good or bad I dare not say, in fact I do not want to say either. I mean, to be safe just need to be cautious with everything. This is life man, all kinds of beings. 

It's gonna be a busy weekend again. Meditation has been, well not really my kind of thing, for the sake of mum, let's finish it till the end. 

23 August 2016

In A Hurry

I was suppose to finish my homework yesterday, but yeah, I was too sleepy to continue which is maybe it's because I did not have much sleep for nights and the exhaustion from driving. Too much concentration needed when you're sleepy driving. It's dangerous I know but yeah, that's the least I can do for them, for what's my interest. There's so much to think and do lately and I just keep need to rush. I just wanna finish the work by today's lunch. So I can finish the remaining from TTMIK and get my work checked on Thursday! :) There's so much to rush! :( I am feeling a little tension about the next two weeks since nothing is confirmed and I would need it by this week. Not putting high hopes. It's fine wether it would be or it would not be. I am good and fine. Cause there's so much to do next month onwards though.

I try to stay in as much as possible during the weekdays till end of the month. Since I would be halting my Korean class next month, I can take some time to do Chinese at the same time finish the remaining listing for Korean and begin the soft copy studies and essay writing. I think by end of October or November the study thing should be stable by then. Besides I have many applications to do by October. awwww, take it easy man and correctly. 

I need to achieve by next month and hopefully by next week is the best. I am feeling so emotional as usual though. I hate when I am feeling so, probably too much to think of. 

What a life. I wish it's getting good for real. 

22 August 2016

Melaka Day Trip

Oh pffff slept for only two hours and went for my replacement class yesterday morning. Don't need to frustrated over my transport and time for the weekdays replacement. My final class on next weekend and I am done for this semester, probably will resume on November? See how it goes next month. So much to do though.

After my class, prepare myself and went to Melaka for a day trip but we actually reached there quite late in the afternoon though. Walked around a little at Jonker street and dropped by hard rock cafe for a drink then head for dinner at a famous restaurant my mum recommend. Food was quite okay but quite expensive though. We did henna finally at Jonker street all the way from Melaka, the price is almost the same as in KL so yeah. Mine would be the red one, another one is not from me. but I kinda like the black one better, oh well, he's more expensive than mine, so yeah, that explains. 

It's really fun to hang out with them but, too much of spending and eating makes me really stress and time as well. We meet so often though. I need more time to revise my Korean actually so I am till end of the month expect weekend this week. Hopefully to finish my homework and the balance of the sylllabus from TTMIK before grammar listing next week. Hopefully quicker than planned. That would be better.

Time to shed what I gained last weekend. Tension tension. 

21 August 2016

I don't wanna screw up again

Oh gosh, I need to wake up early for class again later in the morning. Just got back from a day out. Class was long today and I need to replace a two hour class later today to finish up my final class next weekend. In 3 more hours I need to wake up and I am still updating my blog here. I am so not ready for class but at least I have already finished my work for today!  I was so worried that I couldn't make it.

Okay, I had a little meal yesterday and probably for today as well, I am feeling stress already. This is really killing my results. I really wanna achieve by this week since I am so close at it now. Oh please! It's almost here.

Manage to find a Korean pub here but I heard it's not so good place to hang out though. No one drink alcohol but juices in a bistro. How ironic is that, the reason for being need to drive home. But the waitress is cute! =3 Feel like hanging out here more often. GRRRR. 

I am still thinking if I wanna go to South Korea for the next two weeks, with everything is provided, this is the stress part. I am in dilemma and feel pressured actually. HELP. Need to use a lot of day leave and probably need to postpone my part time work but I really wanna go! :(

20 August 2016

Rest for me

My weekdays and weekends has been really packed since last months, I sleep later and later each day to finish my study. Some times I would stay out till late night and work the next day or attend classes. My progress for Korean language may improved, but my Chinese reading and writing is still not improving at all. I only have time for Chinese when I am at work or taking public transports, my weekend is so packed now, even weekdays sometimes. What's more, I will be more busy next month onwards since I have to work on weekends now. Let's see how it goes after two months before my scholarship application. 

Yesterday I took an MC, wasn't really feeling quite well when I woke up, I just need a rest I told myself. I rest the whole day, all charged up for the day and manage to catch my dinner with my family. I am pretty much fine now. 

I have been spending a lot lately, since last month. I hope when I start working on weekends, there will be less spending and more savings since I have no more time to hang out. No wonder, I have been told that I spend a lot. My results has been slow as well but please, not too much otherwise I can't achieve it next week which I need to. Take it slow and fast at the same time. 

I need to hang out less. I will keep gaining weight and spending my savings! GRRRR! 

19 August 2016

A Night Out when I Suppose to study,

I was suppose to stay in to study but I just feel like I need to get out so yeah, I actually did though! Well, with the same people as usual at the same place, everytime we wanna hang out a little late we have no place to go anymore and end up home.

This is what I had as usual, it's quite pricey though for 3 scoops but I ain't gonna order anymore. At least next week would be my stay in week.

Yesterday was G-Dragon's Birthday and today it's Big Bang's 10th Anniversary! Look at how time passed! I have been a fan for so long, I feel so old now! I have always a big fan of BIG BANG! NO DOUBTS!

18 August 2016

Not In Time

I timed myself to finish at least 4 pages, pick 1 to 2 essays from each page to study, but I spend some time for dinner and some TVB drama that I lost track of time now. GRRR! I am still on the third page and I was rushing instead. I should do it right away today and slow and steady. Shouldn't rush to study, wouldn't do me good though, so yeah. 

I was suppose to work out yesterday, but I skipped and had a heavy lunch, the bad habit. I am so dead. This is not suppose to happen. I notice 2-3 days is my maximum, this is really though. I need to fix my body culture now. :( 

There's so much to worry about words end of the year, October onwards, I would be really busy doing preparations for my scholarship. Getting it is one thing and not getting it is another thing. If I got if, I need to frus over my financial on my dorm and others cause it's only the tuition fees are covered. If I din get it, I would have to wait till March or mid year to leave the country, probably. I don't know man, let's apply the scholarship first and see how it goes. I probably need to take out my EPF for education next January, if I got it with the offer letter since the application is on November and December.

I can actually follow the schedule but I tend to rush myself which I shouldn't, so yeah. Take it easy! You have lots of time, since you schedule your timetable! :)

One last thing, it's my man's birthday! :) The man that I totally fell for! 사랑해요 =3

17 August 2016

Part Time

I finally land myself a part time job during weekend and it's something that I would like to do for a long time! I need to fix my schedule well now. My class ends early next month and probably will stop for two months before continue for my final term for this year! I will see how since I am gonna apply for the scholarship in two months more. Probably resume my class during the application period and see how it goes before resuming the new term for year 2017. Time passes so fast, it's gonna be end of the year soon! Tick tock tick tock! I am nervous and excited at the same time. Hope I will do well and learn some stuffs since I wish to open a cafe as well! This is a good chance to learn some skills! I hope to get in touch with barista too! I AM SO HAPPY :)

I would have less hang out time already next month onwards. Work for seven days in a week is crazy but yeah, life is tough. So I have got no choice. Of course after two months if I can negotiate to work only half day on Saturday that would be even better, so I can attend class. I will see how within this two months then.

I really hope everything goes well by end of the year. I am waiting for the good fortunes to come. Tough time gonna over soon enough. I am tired though. Oh please. Keeping myself positive. September would be it, I still remember. 

16 August 2016

First day of healthy diet

Yesterday was the first day I finally started my healthy diet! I am feeling active and good after running on the track! I really should do it more often, everyday. Tone up this Wednesday till weekend! Let's rock the body~ I think it's good to exercise daily for health purpose not just for loosing weight. 

I will have a week to myself this week, I hope to finish my essays by next week the latest, and next month, I wanna practise my vocabs and essays with grammars. So yeah.

I will have an interview today for my part time job, hopefully we can negotiate the time. I really wanna work part time to learn to make coffee! 

15 August 2016

Another FAT DAY

Oh well, I was suppose to start today officially but again I broke the rule. As usual. went for a really heavy dinner and durian day. I am not gonna touch anymore durian though, the smell is terrible aftermath. Uncle Jang at Sri Petaling is actually better than HQ, Ampang's. Or maybe it's just me who felt so. 

Went to Coffee Coffea to have a drink called the yogurt but out of yogurt so went for smoothie instead. This is hot chocolate from my sister. I like the art. I like barista works!

I have always wanted to try this dessert place but sadly, it's not as good as it is. I am quite disappointed. It's just the design of the place and dessert is nice. The taste is just soso sadly.  

Lately, Sri Petaling has been my stop but I don't think I would stop by there quite often anymore as I have tried most of the stuff I want to and it's really jam at the area! This is really crazy. It's hard to find parking as well! Crowded though. Solaris Mont Kiara has been my hang out area now. Wonder where is my next spot. Bangsar?

14 August 2016

Time to do it healthy

Alright today is the first day I have decided to do it healthy. No more the old methods. I have gained enough and it's time so shed it now, the plan is up and it's time to carry on. It will be hard but I hope I can do this man. The resists and will. Hopefully 2KG each week and I am able to achieve my goal by early September. I just need to resists for at least a month or 3 weeks that's it. Please succeed it! I don't wanna repeat myself anymore. So please please make it well already. Make yourself as an ideal. Prove to them that you can do it. Anyway, I am aging. So still need to do it healthy till the end. Time for the test and challenge. I am worried and scared!

Yesterday was crazy. Was quite late for meet up and went to Korean karaoke again. Korean karaoke is quite old though and the songs too. No wonder the Koreans don't really go there. I can understand now. But it's free though. Except that we have to order some stuffs. 

Back to my normal life for a week now, let's studyyy! 

13 August 2016

A Fat Day before plan

Well, slightly loose for yesterday and today would be the last day of soft launch, still need to hold it well though, need to maintain the weight before the plan. Went for dinner with le oppas, the China style steamboat, pretty okay though. Pretty much like it. Brought the oppas for an ice cream, again Softsrve. I think I will not pay another visit anymore since the ice cream is just normal. I tried the milo and this Pokemon version, nothing special for it's price. 

The oppas wasn't satisfied so I brought them to the actual bingsu place, so yeah. It's quite unique though the menu here! The bibimbap version of bingsu, mostly fruits. Just so so as well, I tried the green tea bingsu here as well. Soso too. 

We went for another round at Solaris Mont Kiara. Again, out hot spot thanks to me, Dalkomm Coffee! I love this place, really. 

Another bingsu for the day, this is really pricey but just sosos as well, something like Cafe Bene's style. Not my kind though. It's really my fat day! OMG. Need to succeed the soft launch today as well! I finally tried all their yogurt drink but I do not really like this Citron yogurt though.  It's not on par with the drink. 

Well, we did a crazy plan today, we went to Genting again. This time, the weather is really cold and foggy! The crowd wasn't as many as it used too though but still many to me. 

I have a class in another 4 hours time, need to be awake in another two hours. I must be really crazy though. 

12 August 2016

Time to soft launch

I think the hardest thing is to control one of your favourite things, appetite. I think I have increased it for the past one and the half month and I am really regretting it now. It really shouldn't be something that happened, I gave a lot of thoughts about it, I have been doing it for like 10 months, almost to a year. I know it's bad but I keep doing it, saying the next month following the month as the last month but it did not, but something wake me up for the past few days, I really need to stop. I am already on par and that's enough, my fats wouldn't stop if I continue the bad habit, it's about turning to muscles so that I won't gain weight easily! That's what I need to do and solve my problem, it's hard to start it straight away I am gonna make today as the soft launch, since I am still so full from yesterday, up to tomorrow, it still wouldn't be hard yet. Probably the challenging point would be on Sunday onwards till end of the month, I really need to resists the appetite for my own good. I need to work things out now. EXACTLY NOW. I have already worked out my plan for the rest of the month, I hope to shed some weight. I am thinking the work outs I wanna start as well. Oh please, I need to achieve this to lessen my concern a little and concentrate on other stuffs so please please be a success!

killing two birds with a stone, I can save up as well and eat less ice cream and cold drinks, in fact it's not good for me at all, my PMS has been unstable, chest pain. There's so many symptoms and I am still doing it. I will definitely regret it as I get older! This is really bad! I don't wanna be a burden when I am at old age, really. Health is really important, there's no awesome life though you are rich if you are not healthy. I need to sort things out now with immediate effect. Watch my diets and healthy and all. I need to save up as well anyway, I have spent a lot on food and ice creams! TOO MUCH! If there's gathering involves food? Take it as a challenge for my resistance which I need to pass through it to prove that I am strong. Fighting! 

There's another 7months to go and two more months to prepare my application, in a blink of eyes, it's gonna be end of the year soon. So let's work this out by end of this month and the latest early next month before my 2017 resolutions comes. YOU NEED TO DO IT! 45!

Study plan for Korean has been doing well, ahead of plan. Probably by next week I am able to finish the grammar and by end of the month it would be the essays. Since next month I would be slightly busy, I will revise vocabs and grammars on TTMIK to stay persistent. I will plan again next month for year end study plan. I think I am concentrating too much on Korean that I am neglecting my Chinese! I need to take the exam soon! Have been dragging too long though! pffttt.  

11 August 2016

It's time to end

I have failed for the past one and a half month and gained myself almost 5KG. I am feeling so guilty now and I said I would continue resume, stop the bad habit and start with the healthy, it's already almost a year and I have not start at all in fact gained. This is really bad to my health, I can feel my body health deteriorate for the past 10 months, my hair fall getting crazy and often sick. Lately the bad habit has been really hard. So yesterday for real marks the last day. I have already come out a new plan for the last two weeks of August and it need to work out no matter how hard for my own good. I need to pass lost of reminders around to remind myself. I need to STOP and BE HEALTHY.  I NEED TO FUCKING STOP IT.  I need to keep this promise before September comes, I need to stop the laxatives as well. I need to cut down within these two days before the official day. I need to watch out from today onwards. This can't keep going on, Really can't. End of the year is coming soon.

These few days I have been really moody. I feel really depressed and sad. cause of home, myself and work. that's why about myself, I need to achieve fast to feel less burden about it. Be strong Jerica, resists yourself, your will to succeed. Let's do 46 the minimum by end of the month! 


PROMISE! If I can do it before this, I can do it now. 

10 August 2016

I do not know what to do anymore

I am still on my old method and I do not know what to do anymore, I still want to achieve it but this is not the good way. Adding fast but slow minus. I am quite worried that it's so hard to quit it, this is getting really bad. I made a promise to do it next week again, but I am afraid that I would break the promise again. It's already August, I promised to stop it last month but I delayed a month, I always use PMS as an excuse and I am not suppose to have any by next week, since it's over! I am already so close to it, please let me achieve it by this month. I wanna do it healthy by this month too, next week? Please! JEBAL! :(

I am feeling really moody lately. I am not sure what's wrong with me. I lost my RM70 worth touch and go card, wanted to find it yesterday but I blocked it instead and will get a refund within a month but with deduction of RM10 for processing fee. Better than thing. Now I need to reload again my new card. I am feeling really not happy that I lost it. I can't understand why when I placed it on my table, probably I threw it accidentally to the bin. My savings is decreasing, I am really worried cause I have spending too much,probably explains my gloomy mood as well. I need part time, but it's hard to find one that suites my time. Probably can only do it end of the month or after this semester of my Korean class which is next month? I don't know.

Regardless, I need to achieve the lease result by this week and the full result but this month, I have got no choice if I have to use back my old method cause I wanna go healthy next month onwards. PLEASE SUCCEED IT! 

9 August 2016


Okay I am a bit worried now cause I did not succeed it yesterday as I promised. This is really a bad sign, so I am going fasting till Friday, I need it to be success. Otherwise I am so dead. I wanna break the bad habit and this is it, this will decide it. Otherwise, I am not me anymore. This is getting really serious, I can't always continuing it. I need to fix it and these 4 days will determine it. Prays hard, please. I am worried, stressed and scared. I just need to brake through this point and I am fine, it's gonna be really hard. I know it will. I need to have a strong will! HWATING! 

My study plan is quicker than schedule, doing it slow and steady and feeling satisfied, the least on my lists that I am doing well. I am already done with tuition notes, and now on my old tuition notes. Hopefully by next week I will be revising TTMIK notes. Which I have 2 weeks all alone for it. I will keep track with the site next month onwards. WOOTS! :) Happy girl for Korean study. While my Chinese study is stuck. I am still not ready for exam! pffttt. Only able to revise during work and during my public transportation ride. Even on weekends I am studying Korean most of the time, I need to leave some time on Sunday for Chinese already! Hmphh! Way to go! 

I am feeling a bit sensitive lately, I think my PMS is on the way. I trying to control my feelings well now cause I am really not happy thinking about it though,  and still. I try to distract myself. Oh please.


8 August 2016

Long Break

I had a break and it's too long, a month plus is too much and it's getting dangerous! Failed too many times and I need to work it out by this week, otherwise I will regret it once again. I don't wanna go back to the old me, oh please. It's hard during this period but I need to sort it out, I don't want to feel depressed anymore. Please stop and resume already. I am left with a month and 3 weeks. Time is ticking, the result is so dangerous now, there's no minus to it and I am scared and stressed now! :(

I made a last minute decision to have dinner for the final day before a week diet plan. A very heavy dinner in fact, I guess it's enough to hold for a week even! I am so full now, too much calories for a day! I am so dead!

We actually went to Sri Petaling for a dinner. Spontaneous plan but turned out okay. I wanted to actually find an ice cream cafe but end up we also had dinner at a Korean restaurant which I forgot the name, coincidentally they have bingsu and we tried! The BBQ is quite expensive at the place, so we ended up just order an octopus BBQ and left for another Korean restaurant. Environment not as nice as the first one we went but the food and price is much reasonable. Should have just went to the second one instead. Can't really judge a book by it's cover. There's not many Korean restaurant around. I am only left with 3 restaurants to try over there before continue with my hunt in Solaris Mont Kiara and Desa Sri Hartamas. 

This is the ice cream place I was looking for, Softserve. Pretty hit lately, but to me, it's just soso. It would probably be hit just for the moment, won't be long unless they come up with new recipes from time to time but the environment is nice. In fact, there's a few nice cafes around the place but the roads are too crowded! So many double parking and it's so hard to move around with too many cars! Definitely not my often hang out place. Lately my hang out place has been Solaris! I love the place, the fact it's the new Korean town since I always hang out at Ampang, I am already bored with place. However, my new hang out place is a little far though. :(

I feel so Korean lately, had been using lots of Korean besides English and Chinese. 

7 August 2016

Korean meet up and Night Out.

Yesterday was a little unhappy day for me, half way through. I did not skipped my class and went for the day yesterday! I went for extra 3 hours even. Fruitful morning, wanted to send my car for a wash but don't wanna rush so I just went home to prepare myself for the meet up today. It wasn't as fun but went some where else to grab a drink instead. 

Finally tried The Coffee Bean's white chocolate but it taste more like coffee to me, I have tried everything I wanted to try so I guess that's it. I even tried Starbucks new recipe. The Mango this time and my lists is done, I even ate bingsu for the day, so yeah, satisfied. I forgot to take some picture cause I straight away ate it. :(

The meet up wasn't as interesting as it use to. I am not sure why. I wanted to leave early at times, but I felt bad for doing so. End up we all stayed though. Met new friends and even have dinner together. This is where the unhappy story begins. I was basically away from the table from different people most of the time during the dinner but I am sorry, I just don't wanna sit on the table, just felt uncomfortable. 

This place relaxes my mind from everything. Because we were close, I am putting so much thinking about it. I need a break, I am sorry. 

6 August 2016


Yesterday was a really tiring day since I did not had much sleep a hassle at work. Sometimes, I do not what these people have in their mind. Especially Gen-Ys including but now I feel I am actually way far off from them to be compared. Or maybe just majority of them, when can I meet the minority? I want a good person to learn with or to teach. Sigh. What have I done in my past life I am really curious though. Lots of kind of people around me. This is really sad and tiring. The meeting I hope would light up some lessons. Otherwise it would be a disaster for the next. 

I would be out the whole day today from morning. Gonna attend my class as usual, no more skipping. I felt like I study too much of Korean now, I am still not ready for my Chinese exam though! I wanna take it end of the year! Sigh! I really need to focus on my Chinese as well! This is not good though. 

It's already coming to the second week of August. Time passes really fast and I hope next week I would have already achieve my goal. Fingers crossed. I am good yesterday, just stay in and study. 

5 August 2016

Zouk & Dalkomm Coffee!

Yesterday was crazy. Going out wasn't really in my plan, I was suppose to finish my final exercise on irregular verbs but I was out though! I need to finish it at work now. Pfft. Spend so much on transportation yesterday and now I need to save up right now. I have been spending too much ad! I am feeling crazy. 

Anyway I get to drink two yogurts in a day! I am loving Dalkomm's drink but it's actually quite pricey though. I get to try Starbucks new drinks as well. The strawberry yogurt! Woots. I can't always be drinking these drinks. It's really expensive though! Save please save please! 

The night is still young so we dropped by a while at Zouk! Velvet room that is, it's quite crowded though it's weekend but club is still not really my kind of thing. I was eyeing a dude, I am guessing that he is a Korean but... haha. Speechless. And it's ladies's night so my entrance was free. I feel like going more though in future. 

I would be dead tired during the morning later. Oh well, as always. Will try to finish the practise by today as well, hopefully. Fingers crossed. 

4 August 2016

Bad Experience

Okay, busy day at work today and I decided to take grabcar back yesterday. It was the worst decision that I have ever made. I wanted to cancel the booking when I saw the driver, but I don't want to do it cause that would label me something bad. Sadly, it turned out to be true. If you have doubt with the routes and address, then you shouldn't have just clicked the booking! Alright, get on the car, he said he like in Sentul and his son works in D7, where I worked. Talk quite a lot during the ride, seems a nice person at first. He seems like he doesn't need a GPS to the place I stay so when he reached the area, he looks like he needs some guide so I guided him to my place. If it's not right to do so, you should have tell me, of course I wouldn't know, I am just a rider! Felt like I am being scam! What's even scarier is, upon reaching my home. He keep saying this is not right, I have took the longer route and wasted my time, guess you need to chip in more for this ride. It's not my fault that it's wrong, RM22 was initially charged. Keep saying that my address is wrong bla bla should put this and that. I said I never had this kind of problem at all and this is my first time, MY ADDRESS HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME SINCE I USED GRABCAR or UBER! He keep insists is wrong this and that. Of course, I don't feel safe anymore, cause he's a dude and so persistent and I need to get out of the car instantly. I was so nervous at that time that I accidently paid him RM20 wish supposed balance RM16 BUT I only realised I got back RM6 when I started opened my house door, I thought I should run back and get back the balance, but for safety purpose, and I just let it go. For not reason, that was the most expensive ride that I have ever experienced! Next time if I see that kind of person attend to my booking, I would just cancel it. I don't feel safe taking this services anymore. Especially in Malaysia. 

Yesterday was a great experience to learn. I need to be really careful. Results wasn't really promising I continued with my bad habit, just some fruits and I am stressed enough. Also, it did not get better but worse. It's harder to resists these days. Seems to be a challenge everyday. It's only the 3rd day and please I do not want to ruin the results. Please keep with the will ! 


3 August 2016


Have so much to worry about from myself to the house. Till now, nothing really resolved yet. It has been more than a year that we are surviving with no solid income at all, running out. Need to do something but no capital. What are we going to do now? I am worried but I am not sure what to do but to pray that the land will be sold in no time. I really wish that the person would take it at a good price for us. We need to survive as well. Time is hard now, I wish she would do us good. Please. It has been already more than a year. Time passes so fast. I would reminiscence it at times, then feel sad about it. What has my life become? Why? Why me? I am just feeling so sad and depressed. With my unfulfilled target for long, late for a month now. Feeling worried as well.

I wish miracles do happen, really. We are having such a tough time now. I don't usually show it, but you can tell for my exhausted face and frequent fall sick. Too much burden and worries that I can't do much. I need to browse something to do, some F&B business, my dream is always to open a Cafe but it's expensive to open one. And, the economy is really bad now unless my food and beverage is good and place is unique. Just one day. my big dream. At least, I wish to do a small business now. I just feel I wanna open one, wish I had the capital.

I was suppose to start the healthy way this month onwards, but these two days has been crazy. I wonder when am I able to start it. I need to loose back what I gained first, hopefully by next week? Fingers crossed. I am feeling tension and anxious, this is crazy.

I finished my planned study schedule earlier that I though but it's better to carry on since my time is so spontaneous lately. I can be busy at anytime. It's better to finish earlier than my tracked schedule. I am on my old printed notes soon today. Hopefully in niche of time, I can complete everything. Feel like taking Chinese exam end of the year. November? but I am not ready though. 

2 August 2016

I hate myself

I said I would start today but I continued my bad habit and did not even start, what am I thinking? How am I suppose to achieve my goal by this month? I am already late by a month, in fact a lot since I spoilt the result! I really hate myself that I can resists it. Time is ticking and I need to do it, what was I thinking? I really hope today onwards it wouldn't happen so. Otherwise, I am a failure. So please. 

I am gonna change a little, probably yogurt in the morning and night since it's home made healthy one, and aloe vera during the day. I need to refrain myself from being hungry and break the rule like yesterday again. I am already regret enough, I don't wanna go through more of it, I said July would be my last shot but now it became August. This is so bad. This cannot be happening. I hate myself really for not succeeding it. It's gonna be the day soon.

I should be sleeping early though, always feeling sleepy at work. I do not know how to control now, but I need to, I need to force myself too. Hopefully today's result would be what I need, otherwise, I will go crazy with my plans. Please. 

1 August 2016

First Day of August and Time to Right the battle.

Yesterday was a long day! I wanted to sleep longer but I can't missed my appointment so I forced myself to wake up and get ready to go. My last break free day for the month of July and I have gained much weight, fucked up results now. Back to the old me soon if this continues so August would be the fasting month, and I hope it would be a success please. 2 Months exactly to the day I can show so yeah, please make it work. Toning begins as well, and the yogurt and oats diet. I wish to do this for am month to see the results. I am feeling so fucked up now. 

Lunch was awkwardly crazy nice Thailand food but was really pricey though, what an option though but was quite good. Aside the price. Lots of ice cream today and went to at least six shopping malls today. I am feeling again so fucked up with what I have done today. Anyway, lots of unexpected things happened today and I do not know what to say, feeling nervous and tension at the same time. Felt like I did a saint. But yeah, this killed my result. It's dark chocolate with banana. Taste pretty okay to me. Wanna try the other flavors next time. 

Our last stop was Time Square where we dropped by this newly opened bubble tea. There's so many changes with these places. Proved that I have not been to these places for a very super duper long time! Used to be my high school hot places to hang out. Those days. I felt like I am too old for these places. 

Rush to the other side to meet my high school friends, it's so hard to gather everyone, but at least most of us made it! So glad to see everyone, has been such a long time though. No one really changed much, still look the same. This failed my results and more to go. Fucked it. So many fucked cause my results was so close and now it became really far. Fuck. Second round was my favourite, but again the killer. 

It was nice to catch up with the old mates. Age is catching up and most of them are attached. I feel so single. HAHA! Oh well, I enjoy my life still. So yeah, fingers crossed. Yesterday my last day and it's time to begin my new diet plan and body toning for a month! Please have a strong will ! Fighting!