31 October 2016

Date with le MUM

I actually planned to attend some meet up yesterday but I was too tired to tend, actually the right world should be too lazy to attend, just  feel like resting the whole day and have a date with le mum. No more spending after yesterday. Too much has been used. I had a good sleep, like finally. It has been some time though. I manage to finish off my Korean study schedule as well, a month ahead. Which means I can officially begin my translation practice now. Feeling accomplished. I also have one more to go for November and hopefully it would be the end of my diet plan. I wanna stop totally my bad habit and begin to maintain healthy which means I need to work out and eat well soon. Hopefully this week onwards. I need to treat this sickness, regardless. I broke too many promises and hopefully to fulfil it this month onwards. 2017 is coming, I am so close to it as well. To decide and to plan, 2017 is the year I wanna leave the country and hopefully either plan will work out. Fingers crossed.

Brought mum to Publika today. Had some dinner and desserts. My another usual hang out place though. My area, you should say. haha. She said she hasn't been there before, surprisingly. I thought I brought here though. So we had this in a shop, I think it's new in the restaurant though but it's not that great. 

We had Japanese later that cause I manage to find some green tea dessert though. Something similliar to NANA's Green tea, but it's just soso to me though some sites recommended the place. I always thought that Publika is a complicated shopping gallery but lately I am getting familiar with the place. Since I come here pretty often lately. One thing about the mall is that the stuffs are quite pricey, it's only good for window shopping.

I am not sure it's because my PMS is coming, I am feeling frustrated and unsecure lately. I do not know why. This week should be it, I should stop with cold stuffs actually. My mood is weird. I feel nervous and anxious for no reason, over think. It's just... I don't know. I do not want to think about it but I can't help it. I need to chill out man. I just wish I can earn lots of money for my mum. Sigh, I hope it will come soon.



30 October 2016

Golf & Swim!

Well, I actually wanted to sleep in but I just wanna hang out during the day though. I woke up just nice to prepare myself. Haven't even pack my stuffs for swim though and forgot to bring some stuffs. End up wore something I planned to wear it a little later after the golf. I was so excited to be able to go to the pool at Publika residence. End up the weather wasn't quite promising though, it rained heavily but I end up still swim for like half and hour I guess? I am not sure but it was really cold! I though I can make it a little longer but I just can't do it though. I feel bad for letting someone waiting for me so yeah, it's better for me to get off early as well since it's cold and the rain got heavier instead. I just love swimming pools! I wish I am staying in a condominium! 

Right after the pool thing, we prepared to go for a golf! This is my first time though. I never knew any friends who's into golf. It was fun and hard at the same time. I find it interesting though actually. I wish I earn more so I can play more as well. Teacher and student playing hard. HAHA. Golf is not easy. Not as tired as it seems though. I find it okay though. 

After the golf, we actually went back to Publika for dinner, again Senya. As always there's a lot of people. The food is good and not so pricey but there isn't many stuffs that I actually fond of. Besides the ice cream and the kimuchi! =) It's nice though, worth the try. I heard it's opened by someone well known. The Korean style I guess, after dinner, we went for a coffee at San Francisco. The whole day, I am able to listen to mostly Korean conversation and even converse. I really wish I can speak well ! I am so envious. 

The day ended early today though. It's unusual but feels good as well. Feeling grateful and complete today. I have one more to shed off for November. I wanna stop it totally by this week. I need to do it. Today should be my last day. I should save money and not spending as well. Sigh, this is really bad. I should lessen my outing! 

29 October 2016


I like to have my plans ahead though. So it would be troublesome if I was told with last minute plans. I happy to say I finally able to finish listing the grammars yesterday! I can start revising on Monday onwards! This is so much better though. Have been writing the whole day though and now my hand is a little hurt. 

Went for dinner with the group of six again and damn the bill was expensive, if I know I don't wanna tag along unless its after dinner, a big whole in my purse. Plus, I ate like less than 5% of the food there, so definitely not worth for me. I will count myself out next time, hopefully. My mood was quite a swing during the dinner time after a phone call. More truths are known after my dad is gone. We know lots of things now. Business man will always be business man. I do not know what to say now. All I know the only thing we can do know if to return once it's sold and this will show what kind of person, really a who he is. Human is so scary. 

My mood got better after the dinner. I basically followed three different oppas car just now. Went to the restaurant with an oppa, went to another place with another oppa and went back with another oppa. Feeling thankful. Deep talk with both, I still decide to for Plan A than to Plan C. Fingers crossed it's for real though. Otherwise I am disappointed. I am not sure what to do as well. After yesterday, I probably will speak less and spill less thing to be safe. I am done with it.

I just hope they did not know each other, I feel it's a waste for him not her for his traits. Really a waste. Whether it's from the inner or outer, do him no good though. Such a waste. Sigh. When is my turn to meet such person? I am still waiting. I begin to lessen my fond over them lately. Maybe it's because my often hang outs. I am trying to keep myself positive and think less. Hopefully it works.

Need to pack my swimming and golf wears for evening today. Some outdoor activity this time. I am glad I can understand Korean and Chinese at the same time. HAHA. Easier to mend. Peace! 

28 October 2016

Slow and Steady but in time

I always want to rush my revisions/studies which brings me no good or benefit. My schedule is actually in progress accordingly so I don't actually need to worry though, in fact I added more stuffs that I need to do since I missed out. At the same time, studying the grammar while writing it out. After finishing the listing, I am gonna study the grammars again to complete it. It's time to make use of what I have studied and memorised, by end of next month. If possible I wanna leave end of my December free without studies. Fingers crossed. I need to have less outings to do so though. I wanna stay in during weekdays and out during weekends only actually. See how's my progress first than for this week. I will do as much as I could. 

I took half day a day before and half day again yesterday but this time is EL since the car tyre has some problem, might as well take half way instead of being late. I just wanna be on time, dislike being late. I actually really thought of bringing it to the office to do it but that seems to be extreme, since my schedule is empty so far this weekend, wanna make use of it to finish them. I wanna give excuse to stay in if possible. Let's see how. Gonna fill up anytime I have to finish it. 

I have already decided, came up with Plan B and trying to think of Plan C though. Probably education? I am not sure but I hope the decision is right. And it's weekend baby, I can sleep in. I need to sort out my classes probably after Lunar Year. Let's see how again. So much to do and settle.

I don't wanna think so much, but I can't help it. I am just worried about my decision and trying to becareful at the same time. It's just me. I always thinking a lot about my future.  

27 October 2016

Finally the four of us again.

Well, I  took half day yesterday though to do some bank stuffs. I put my trust on him to reopen my bank account for him to use and I hope I did the right thing for doing so. Also, changed my bank card as well. Manage to do things that I need to do, to collect my salary as well. I thought I would actually have an extra income next month onwards, but doesn't seems like it now. I need to find a way though now. I wonder how. This is depressing.

I did not have enough sleep the whole day and was quite tired though. Since today there would be no outing probably, I hope to start a little my Korean grammar listing from the side. I really wanna finish it by next week though before making any year end plan. Wanna finish in a quick manner but steady and fruitful as well. I should be able to achieve my goal by this week. Fingers crossed for next week onwards. I can do it! Believe it !

After the dinner, wait, I think the dinner was too oily for me though. I still can't take it since I haven't fully recover for the two days before. The least I feel much better now. We went to Thean Hou temple later that. I always feel better after I went there. I am glad to be able to bring them there finally, always wanted too. The feel is good there. Finally bingsu later that! Definitely the best bingsu in town! My second time here! Wanna come here more often but it's quick far though. Well, South Korea politic talks. Since they are having a big issue now.

I don't know why, but I somehow had this weird feeling about it. Shifting, troublesome, less hang out probably. I can concentrate more on my studies soon at the moment? I will see how. Will make use of my time today. Lot's of writing to do. Woots.

Please don't think too much. Just think out of the good only.

26 October 2016

Lie or Truth?

It's so hard to differentiate between lie and truth within people these days. Human beings are so scary now. I can't tell at all, looks genuine but at the same time not as well. So how should I know now? I wanna think in a positive way, a good way but some facts wouldn't really allowed me to think this way. I tried my best but... it's just... I don't know. But yeah... late night coffee and now I can't sleep.

So much to think about, probably my plan wouldn't need to carry on a little later and most probably I would take the risk to South Korea for 1-2 years. What I am gonna later that? I am not sure as well, see how it goes. I hope if I can do well within these two years, I don't need to be frustrated about my career anymore. I am taking the risk. Please be with me and I hope this is the right decision to do. Now I have to decide when to tender my letter and how long I wanna have a break. I have 3 months plus to decide and this is really epic though.

I hope they treat me as sincere as I do as well. I hope the good acts will have good receive and vice versa. I have been standing strong for some time and I wanna keep doing so. I wanna prove to a lot of people and to myself as well. I hope I can do it and I need to actually. Well, I am left with one more to go and I really hope to achieve it by this week. I can do this! Let's rock the 2016 resolutions since 2017's is coming! Time passes so fast. Another year is coming which means I am gonna aged another year in two months time. This is crap. I hate getting old but I can't help it. Wanna be forever young! 

25 October 2016

That's Quick

Oh well, yesterday was the Monday blues though, lazy to wake up and it was raining in the morning, the best time to sleep but too bad I need to get up for work and I am almost late for half an hour due the bad traffic this morning, I guess it's the rain though. Well, who cares anymore. I ate too spicy the day before and I am having bad stomachache now. I am having a bad health now. Can't take too much spicy anymore. Sad life that's why I wanna fix my eating habit by next month. I can't always continue this way. I need to work something out. I am trying my best to make this week as the last week before going totally forbidden by next month. I hope to loose the least two more this month. Oh please be with me.

This two weeks would be the TTMIK study month, next week actually but I am more in advance and in hope to finish the latest by next week. I wanna do more writings next month. Since lots are repeats from grammars and stories so I guess that explains though. I think I need to write more and to use more the grammars to remember, just reading or trying to memorise wouldn't do me good. So yeah. I found some short stories to be translated even. So let's decide which to do first after the TTMIK. Take is slow and steady but also speedy as well. 

Tomorrow is gonna be a busy day for me, I would probably taking half day to go the banks to settle some stuffs. To change my card to pay wave and unfreeze my Maybank account. It has been some time since I used it though. I don't know why but I don't really like that bank. I hope I will have some time to go go collect my part time salary and to get some free Henna. What a busy day though. Even today I would be busy as well since I was suppose to meet my friend that I was supposed to since long ago. I would only make promises to meet once I am on scheduled with my study. 

Too much to think about my career. Need some time to digest for everything that has happened. I need to work out how to improved my Korean. Some research later today or something. See how it goes tonight. 

24 October 2016

Back to Two more

As I predicted weekend is hard to resists, it became now, was supposed to be just one. I am so deep shit how. He's back and I think it's gonna be really hard again. I think I need to test my resistance this week on weekdays. I really hope I can make it this week. I have been dragging it since early of the year and this is really bad. I want my plan to go as usual healthy. Justt.... I wanna stop the latex and the bad habit totally next month. I wanna make this last week of October as the resistance week! I need to do it. I wanna make it just one more or achieved! PLEASE.

Well, sleep really late the day before that I woke up really late and need to rush to Sungei Wang to meet my friend. Apparently she was lately as well so we only manage to meet for an hour, no time for dress and I need to meet another person to clear up lots of stuffs. Finally able to try the bingsu there which I have been longing for some time. It's just soso and normal and manage to take some Deepavali decoration picture as well. I manage to get free Henna too! The colour is a little light though but I like it. 

Managed to clear up some stuff, thankfully I finished the studies last week to make it in advance cause I know I am gonna be busy again soon. There's so much that was told or informed. I have much to think about now. Plus I am stressing about my resistance for this week as well. I need to make it. Just liquid, better off yogurt after work, no soild. I can do this! I wanna stop everything next month, one more please!

23 October 2016

The truth and confession

What a weekend. I had a good sleep yesterday! Like not always I can have a good sleep every weekend. Had lunch with mum and rush myself to Korean meet up today. I was suppose to attend another meet up as well but end up I can't make it and just attend one though. The meet up yesterday was quite okay, quite a number of people. Some Koreans but not many though. Sigh. I wish there's more that comes to the meet up. After the meet up went with older oppa and the others for dinner. As usual, I don't really have appetite yesterday, thinking too much after a call. I do not know what to react and to say though. I really do want to work in South Korea but this is too sudden. I am thinking too much, I know but I can't help it.

After the dinner we actually went for an ice cream! This is so good though. Alcohol ice cream! I feel like working here and eat ice cream all day! :)

After the ice cream we went to unnie's house. Her kid is so lovely ! It's my first time in a Korean family house. Feels good though. I feel so Korean though since the outing today was so totally in Korean. Though I understand 80% of the conversations, I wish I can converse well to join in the conversation. I just wanna speak Korean like a native! Pfttt. I just confessed because I feel so stuffed and frustrated. Oppa is the only I can tell to. I am sorry that I need to share it to another person, I just need someone to help me lessen the burden and frustration and he's the only one I can think of. I wish he wouldn't tell anyone, really. He kind of confessed some stuffs too. I also finally clear of the misunderstanding. I feel better a little after saying it but I am still thinking about it. I still will be careful. I am thankful at the same time as well. 

I am blessed to know all these older brothers and hope these blessed will continue for a long term. THANK YOU, really do. 

22 October 2016


I woke up quite early just to go to the dentist and I made it. I even have time to pay the fine on behalf. In fact there's no one at all! I am the first and only customer during the payment process and it's so near as well. I though I would take some time so I did not bring any books to study for lunch. After the dentist, I can't have solid food today, but if I am about to eat at another side, it should be fine right? I should just skip meal for the day maybe. In fact, I am scared of weekend. It's hard to resists during the weekends. I wanna achieve by next week once and for all. I am so near to my goal already. I don't wanna ruined it at all. Oh please.

I feel so bad to accidently cause a scratch there. I though there was ink on it but I don't think it is, since I do not have any pens around it ! That's weird. I should have noticed it days earlier, that it heated up pretty quickly lately. Probably the caused? I shouldn't have wipe it but I can't help it to see the stain there. I feeel so sorry and bad now. I do not know how to face him tomorrow. Plus if his other half comes, I am even more scared and anxious. OH well, reasons mentioned before and not gonna mention it again. What should I do? I can't sleep well during the night thinking about this. In fact, I always have a lot to think every night. Especially now, the land, the career and the appearance, also the language studies. The land having some heads up now, I really hope it would be settled by this year before 2017. I wanna have a peace of mind and probably help out after everything settled out. As for career, this is the most frustrating because I do not know where to go and what to do. The appearance? I am close to it, now I need to maintain it soon. Which means I need to go totally healthy by next month. So next week is my last shot. Lastly, my languages. I planned to take my final Korean exam by end next year and as well with Chinese as well. I hope to take HSK 4 by early next year. So I really need to revise right now for Chinese. Still doing well, since I ahead of my schedule. Feeling satisfied for this at least.

It's weekend man, I preferred to be busy than staying home now. It's sad to see my mum needs to sell my dad's favourites to survive. That made me eager to earn more money and do well in my career. I feel heartbroken, really do. I just I am at somewhere in my career the least instead of searching. I feel so solely thinking about my family. What happened? We were almost doing good with each other till all these happened. What exactly happened? Everything happened for a reason? Really? I hope these reasons doing us good. I am still not completely heal over it. I think about it from time to time, vividly. Because I do miss him sometimes. It has been a really long time since the family went out for dinner together for a Chinese, Western, Japanese or Korean dinner. I wish I can afford to bring the family out to eat. I am like my dad, I will be happy if I can see them eat happily or what they like. I hope this day will eventually come. We had enough, the good is coming. It will. 

Most of my friends and families around me know that I am a big Korean fans but as I got older, or to say my cliches has many Koreans or international people now, I sort of able to sort out what kind and where kind of cliches I am able to get along quick and well. Most of them I am able to, I am not picky. But among the more comfortable ones. I am not saying. Just to know myself. I have always said, I may like Koreans, but I don't planned to marry a Korean unless I found a pretty darn good one. I wanna try to date a Korean who knows it might turned out well. I might marry him. My taste of guys is hard to find. That's why I am still single now. Chinese is okay to me too but not Malaysian, I do not know why I am not in to Malaysians. Please do not ask me. From Taiwan, Japan, Hong Kong, certain Chinese areas, specially Asian born Westerners are my favourite. I love Asians who speaks good English with accent, I mean real accent. Don't treat me a fool, accents/languages are my favourites, I can tell clearly you are naturally having the accent or faking it. Though I know it's a fake accent, I wouldn't say it, they have their reasons to take it, none of my business. The embarrassment is not on me though. It's not my pride. Pfftt. 

It has been some time that I blog so much. I have lots to say today and I even blog in advance cause I am worried that I might not have time when I am back or too tired. So therefore yeah. Doing it now. 

21 October 2016

The Weekend

Well, it's TGIF  today! I am gonna have a night out with le mum, well not actually really a night out though but yeah. I am gonna be busy for the weekend. I am having tough time to arrange my schedule to meet my friends since am in dilemma if I wanna attend for another meet up with both happening at the same time. Frustrated. Oh well, see how it goes on Saturday and I will decide during then. 

I am so tight myself lately. I learnt to spend less and that's a good thing. I should continue this since I do not have much savings every month these days because of my commitments. Sigh. I shouldn't have spent so much when I first come out to work, now I am pack of savings. Lesson learnt. Save money when young. I wanna earn more money as well. I just wanna give my mum a good life. She's not young anymore. :(

I have been doing some research lately. It's not easy to find an overseas professional work especially with my field. But I am not giving but and keep trying to find. I am sure there will be opportunity. I will.....

This little fella talks a lot now, he's so grown up now and yes, I am a big fan of his and wish to see him one day though he will be a big boy in future. He's too adorable! 

20 October 2016


I have finally finished all my new vocabs and grammars yesterday which I will be almost a month ahead. I will probably will still bring forward to do them earlier next week for the TTMIK studies. I finally decided to do some translation first for 2 weeks before moving to essays. I feel I can't write good ones since my grammar is still weak though. I need to search some short English passage to be translated later today when I am back. I wanna see how much I can translate it to Korean and vice versa to English if possible. I can't wait. Also, Friday till Sunday I will be really busy as usual. That's why I always try my best to keep my weekdays free to study and revise. This time it's doing good.

Finally I am back on track to one. Trying to achieve it by this week if possible. Trying to half and stop it by next month. Lately I am into coffee, hopefully one shot I can reduce it after next week. I can't wait! I know why my eye twitch now, I hope it's about it, the good news. Finally there's buyer to my land. I hope everything will go smoothly till the land totally sell off! I hope everything will be settle before 2017! Fingers crossed. Be positive POSITIVE! It will be good news before 2017! I am feeling thankful. Please till the end. Looking forward and more to do later that.

I am gonna do some research while in the office as well since I have got no time at home during weekdays or weekends. Probably weekend is possible but I though of studying only Chinese during the weekends and Korean during weekdays. Chinese just during my train ride and lunch time is not enough though. I wanna take the exam next year after CNY. So yeah, I need to be serious with the study now. Chinese is really hard though.

I miss the old times when we just knew each other. We get to spend more time together and closer but now, feel like we are drifting apart. Guess, good times don't last. I just wish.. we can be more closer instead. You would be the one invite me for outings instead always the youngest one. That don't really happened anymore..... Feeling sad..... I still remember the first time we met. All of us. It was nostalgic. I miss the moments. Sincere, I hope. They have became memories.

I do not know what I did for the person to treat me so but yeah. Physical as an adult but mentally childish. That's all I can say. For the sake of a person. You just don't have the confident or your're just envious of me. that's it. Suite yourself. What's goes around comes back all around. Everything happens for a reason, so does your status. 

19 October 2016

Can't Resists

Yesterday night I just can't resists, I need to have some chocolate and ice cream and I did it, now I make it to 2 to go. I screwed myself when I am so close to it! I need to make it one more to go for this week. and final for next week, regardless. I wanna achieve it by this month! I need to stop the craving no matter what really. I WAS SO CLOSE TO WHAT I WANNA ACHIEVE! SO PLEASE! Before my healthy declines more and my hair falls increase to more, I wanna be healthy by next month with my achieved goal and body toning! SO GAMBATEH! 

I was lectured by my boss today. I am aware with all these but because I was too busy to bother, I just convey the message directly. At some point on this matter, I agreed with them. Some times they are right, less likely to happen but yeah. I no longer have the heart, I am sorry. Not worth it anymore. Thank you for your understanding as well but I am just waiting for 4 more months, in hopes still, to go overseas. Fingers crossed. 

I am thinking if I should accept the offer of his to fetch me home everyday. I feel bad and not so good. Please guide me. I am still wondering if oppa is doing fine at settling his problem. Hope he can come back at the soonest though. I treat friend with my whole heart if they do so. I hope I won't be hurt again like last time. I hope this time it's real. Please be genuine because I am. I am sincere, as friend. I have so much to think lately. The luck and wish will come true, and I know it will. Positive.


18 October 2016


I am feeling lost at the moment, do not know what to do. All I am doing now at home after work is just revising and revising. Hope to do Chinese on weekends. And at work if I have got time, it's all about research and research. What about my future ? Honestly, I am really worried about my future. I also really want to go to Ireland to work for a while and to enjoy the western life there for a while. I just want a long gateaway. Paying myself is totally not possible now. I am so envious with the others. I really hope that I do not need to be envious of people soon. It's just... sad....

Study plan is doing well, quicker than expected. Goal left with one more to go. I hope to achieve totally by this month and stop my bad habit totally next month onwards and do a healthy one. I know I have been saying this for a long time but I always use not achieving the goal as an excuse, soon I do not need to be. I hope so. 

I just want a better career by next year. 2017. Bright year for me and my family. Just my wish and goal for 2017. 

I am a big big fan of Si An and I wanna meet this boy one day. He is too adorable! I love him! I want to have a kid like him if I get married some day. Just too adorable! =3 I would give him all my love that I have. He makes me smile when I am down.

17 October 2016

Blogging Out my Feelings

I feel so down the whole day. Guess I really treated him as a good friend already though we just knew each other for four months. At first it was fine, but my eye keep twitching and I do not know where it would come from again, makes me even more worried. House is one thing enough to be worried of, now added with a good friend. I am gonna have some tough time again, back to my old normal life. It's not that I do not want to find someone to talk to, it's not easy to find one that I can talk to. Guess this is fate. I am not sure how long it's gonna take to find a new person to talk to, probably will never find one too. If we all are fated to be friends, we will definitely meet again, I believe. Year by year, people living me ever since I started working. I just hope people would say or I am living good so that I could travel to visit them. Or maybe, I am having to much close not local friends, that's why I am having a hard time now. I don't know why but I feel more comfortable with foreigner friends. I can't seem to find alike local friends. That's sad.

I just have a good news but it's not confirmed but I really hope I can make it to Ireland for work, the least for a year. I wanna earn some and return here or stay longer? I don't know. I am still young to experience sort of working holiday visa. I wanna try, learn and experience at the same time. Not to forget, to earn and find some opportunity as well. A good start, fingers crossed. Too much to think of lately. I think I am gonna have sleepless nights for a few months to get over it. I will blog more longer in future probably. To speak out my feeling now. Back to the old depress, stress and lonely life. I hope new good friends will come soon, like he said. Just like him. Thought, he would stay the least till my birthday but... sigh. Lonely birthday it's gonna be now. ...

Work, I am sort of fed up. Can't wait to do my research next month. I wanna heal myself till end of the month will try to loose 2KG at the same time. I can do it. I have no appetite either. 

16 October 2016

He's Leaving

I do not know what happened, he is not telling and it's all guessing, I was warned before that he would suddenly leaves but this time is real. I need more time to digest the news. The news has affected me quite a lot now. I am trying to believe what has happened. Just when I thought I found a good older brother and he's leaving for real now, and it's so sudden. Not even in the plan. I feel so sad and lost now. I don't have hang out buddy anymore. I have lost someone to talk to deeply. I never talked about my problems with anymore before but just him. And now, he's leaving for real, suddenly. This so sad though. I hope it's not for real, but that doesn't seems possible right? It's all guesses with what's happening. Probably will never be able to be true or to know. 

Anyway, I had a nice dinner/supper. It's good but it's a little spicy. The price, well, I am not sure if it's expensive or not though, should be quite fine. 

I can't sleep now thinking about it. I feel down and depressed even more. I wanna let it go but I do not want to as well. I am lost, just like when someone you're getting close with suddenly leaves. I hope it's nothing bad. I hope it's nothing big. I just hope... just.... Sigh... I don't know.... 

15 October 2016

Late night at work

Yesterday at work was a really busy day. I am rushing for stuff for the whole day. Just because I am not in for a day, there's so many things to rush. Right, it's just me now. There's no one to help me yet. So much to do and rush. I feel like I am doing crazy. The best part, your salary does not increase for doing two people works and appreciation? I am not sure. There's so many people leaving as well. I am still waiting for my best time to come and I can't wait for it. I hope before the others leave, let me go first. Oh please.

After work, I actually OT to wait to go for dinner but it's too jam that I need to take the uber there instead. Had a drink at Intermark, BEAST. I don't really like the place but it's still quite okay. The stuffs are not that expensive as well. Just soso. Had a big chat with the big sisters and brothers about working holiday visas. I really need to get out of the country by next year. Hopefully opportunity is coming soon. I really hope so. I need to do some planning next month onwards. So I need to enjoy till the max this month. I wanna finish the main study of my Korean as soon as I can too. So I would have more time next month. Fingers crossed. 

Finally gonna host our meet up after for some time since everyone it's busy. The pay is quite expensive to keep the meet up on. I wonder how long does this new meet up can last though. Let's see. Oh well. It's gonna be a busy weekend as well. Tomorrow too since I need to tutor and go out in the noon, probably night as well. Pfftt. That's why I can only fully revise on weekdays. Oh the least, I manage to finish some study today! Happy girl :) 

14 October 2016


I have the almost one whole week to myself next week. I have been stuck with two more since last few months and I wanna totally achieve it by next week and I think it's achievable! As long as I maintained till this Saturday. I need to, if I can loose one it's even better. As long as I keep hanging out during then night it's gonna be hard for me to loose unless I refrain myself which is hard. So, one week next week, I need to achieve it totally. I NEED TO! 

Besides, I think I can finish the whole tuition notes by next week, and hopefully to start memorising the new vocabs again till end of the month. I wanna start writing essays next month, if so I am a month ahead. which is good. I can take a break during December or begin my Chinese exam study I wanna take the exam by next year though. Hopefully I can make it.

I said I wanna stop the tea and the bad habit, but that doesn't seems to make it by this month. That's why I need to achieve it by this month. It's two more to go. I need to make it! 

I have lots to think lately. Plans changed, as usual. I know. I am just so envious with people who has already achieved their dream at young age while I am still lost and still in plan. I wanna earn lots of money as well. Buy things without thinking twice, no worries about financial. I wanna live a life like that as well. I wanna be success like this as well. I need to start working out this weekend onwards. I need to. I can't let myself keep doing it for the rest of my life like that. If I wanna eat freely a little, and maintain or loose weight, I need to work out the least and eat healthy. I hope next month I can begin the healthy diet and work outs regularly. 

I really wanna quit my job but I can't, not till after the new year. I need to sort out what I wanna do later that as well. I really have plans to further studies but need some $$. Sigh. my life. 

12 October 2016

Resume Study

I usually plan with longer time for my studies, just in case I am out and I am off schedule but now I am in advance of my schedule. The better it is, I have more time for essays and some break towards end of the year, Probably to concentrate on Chinese end of the year. Oh well, I hope things goes well soon. I am praying hard everyday wishing all the best. Take it slow when comes to study, lots of time. Learnt well. I am gonna use them soon after this month probably. Some essays to write! 

Okay, I don't know why but I finally decided to totally cut down on the tea. But not yet my bad habit, so this is a good start. I took yogurt and yakult in replace, also in hope that it would substitute it healthy. I am looking forward with the results today. Change a bit the plan, gonna take some fruit juice mum made during the morning and evening while for lunch, I would take oats. Meanwhile for dinner, I plan to just take 2 glasses of yogurt. I hope next week or end of the month I can achieve my target and toning by next week, I really need and want to achieve it already! It's gonna be a year. I took a step to stop one it's time for another one. I can do this.

So many things up in my mind now. I am thinking a lot lately. I wanna sleep well so in hope that the land will be sell of by this month, we need to survive, please contact us. PLEASE.

Of course I hope oppa would give me the phone instead, cause I am tight in budget, but I don't feel good about it. Let's see how it goes. Human with words. I hope. 


11 October 2016

Suppose to Start

It was a lazy Monday yesterday, don't feel like doing much things but still need to do them. I wish I can stop right now which I can't. I think I need to watch my words when I am talking to him cause I felt like I said something not right yesterday. Well, yesterday went to the airport to pick up a good friend. This time felt like I often travel to airport though. Feels nice when the first time I went to KLIA1 and now it's KLIA 2! Changed so much from the last time I went there. It's like a shopping mall there now. So many outlets there even Red Eye and Uniqlo! Amazing though. 

I feel so frustrated lately. Whether if I should pursue my studies if I apply for scholarships. I wanna try for western first then asian countries. Guess I need to do more research next month. Full research on where and when to apply and how as well. There's lots to do if I wanna further my studies so I need to start plan by next month. I need to take exams and get some documents. It's gonna be hectic. This is the only way if I wanna settle down aboard. I hope it will be a success. Lots to do, lots to plan and lots to let go. I will see how. 

It's good to be rich right? But sadly, I have not achieve to that point yet, I am gonna make sure I will. I was suppose to start my healthy diet yesterday but I failed it. This is so bad. I broke the promise and please I hope today is the day. For four freaking days! I need to do it! 2 more to go! 

10 October 2016

Meet Ups.

Well, went for another meet up yesterday. Got to know some new people. Glad that we manage to get a long well. Since I slept "early" the day before, I over slept today. Was suppose to wake up an hour earlier to prepare but end up half and hour late. I am still late for the meet up still. Met someone that I awkwardly do not wish to really meet. Met a lot of new friends. I actually think the Japanese guy is cute. Also, I was give bright ideas to further my studies in Japan with full scholarships! I am considering now, probably in late 2017 or early 2018. Which means, I need to start doing some research on it. I thought the meet up would over early but end of till dinner time. So I actually came back quite late though. I have been spending a lot since last week. Since I can no longer put any hope on the giving Korean tuition thing, I need to start saving now. No more spending and with my new healthy plan to begin. Oh please be a success. 

I manage to meet someone who does hanna, the design she drew was suppose to be more than RM10 but she charged me just RM10. The design is nice too. I am thinking to get the temporary ink to do it myself instead. Feel it's good though. I mean, since I like tattoo but I can't do a permanent one. This would do me good as well. 

Well, my day well spent. What about yours? It's Monday already. Sigh. The  blues are here. Let's finish my old vocabs memorising! 


9 October 2016

Korean Meet Up

Korean meet up yesterday was quite good. There were many attendees. Many Koreans as well. Know some new Korean people. Good to know. I actually thought of just stayed in during the day to continue memorise but end up having lunch with my mum then right away to meet up after it. Time was so packed that I am out the whole day. I still need to finish the old syllabus by this week. I hope I can make it, wait I need to, to be on schedule. 

Good to see some old people from the meet up. It has been some time though. Had some after meet up dinner! Like after for so long since I don't attend much anymore. and watched some horror movie, it wasn't that good. So disappointing. Feel bad for suggesting it but the cinema has many people though with this B grade movie. Totally sucks the acting for the actors and actress, wasted the story line. Worst directing and flow, should just get James Wan! 

After the movie, went for a second round. Well, more problem adds on but some were solved on the spot. Yesterday night felt back to the old us. I miss those moment. I wish there's more of these moments. I hope some things are true and some are not. Well. This is life. 

7 October 2016


I am not sure if it's because of my PMS, but my result is slow this week. Feeling frustrated. Yesterday the oppas stayed up to buy iPHONE 7 plus, I wish I can buy when it launched too. Sigh. Not even close to even able to afford it. It's so hard to even save up lately, what's more about buying a new  iPhone? Feeling sad. The least, mine is still doing good. Still looking new with the iPhone 6 plus. I really wanna know the difference in function, can't wait to see! I really want the rose pink or the gold one, or the grey! =3 in my dreams. My birthday is coming! Anyone please? :P

I am really envious with people who can travel/study to United Kingdom. I actually think that my time there was not enough. I miss the cozy life there, the weather, the people, the place. I don't know why, but I just love UK. I really thought of settling there for the rest of my life. In the plans, I hope it will work out in the future. I walk a lot when I was there. The bus is convenient as well but when I have my breaks, I tend to walk to look around though it's far. The weather is not hot, so I am cool with it. I need to succeed myself within this 5 years. After the 5 years, I need to look into myself, opportunity to UK, the least. I hope within these 5 years, I am able to bloom. 

I am trying to maintain to the least 2 for next week with the new plan, I hope this month would be the last month. And onwards, it's just about maintain but loose. While next week, I am trying to go healthy. Once a week till none next month which I actually need to since long time ago. But that never happened and it's almost a year now. It's really dangerous actually. I need to get my determination high.

About my career, after CNY, to follow or not I am undecided but I hope I will make the right decision and also hope I will have a better offer and that's for real. 

Hoping for the best for this month that the land will be sell off. Please give us a call to update us. PLEASE. 

6 October 2016


Most of us in the house are so worried right now, running out and the person hasn't contact us for almost more than a month, I really hope he keeps his promise to help us. We are really in need right now. I really hope the land can be sell off by this month. I am heartsick to see my mum always worrying about it and I feel bad I am still not there yet, it's true I am getting older enough and should start some more earnings already. I am still here and I hope next year would be it. 2 years that is, to make my resume nice. I wanna do well as well, for you a better life. 

I can't promise anything but I will try my best, the only way we can do now is pray hard that it will be sold off by this month. I really hope it does. Please.

5 October 2016

Ruling Out

I am ruling out so many facts and possibilities in a day. But nothing is sure of at all. Everything is just guesses. I wish I can be sure of it! But I don't think it's possible at all since I only have one side of the story. I have been thinking about it the whole day yesterday. Now I decided to not think about it anymore. I have more important things to frustrate about, my career. Should I follow him to Korea or not? That really depends when the time comes, hopefully it will be on schedule and hopefully it will be the right decision for me to work aboard. I was scared that I am not ready to take the challenge, but I am now, I wanna get off this shell and explore the world to widen my knowledge and skills. I don't wanna stay here anymore. 4 more months to go now. I am waiting, please be patience. The bright future is coming! Positive for 2017!

I am faster than my study schedule, I can finish memorise my old vocabs by this week, hopefully. If there's no outing on weekdays. Then I can begin a week early to revise my tuition notes. It has been some time since I attend any classes. Saving up for next year plan, hopefully successfully. Moreover, I am self studying Korean almost everyday, and Chinese at work. So it's possible. I feel like taking the Chinese exam after CNY. So I guess I need to study now! I wanna do well like my Korean exam! One more paper to go! :)

Uncle please call us by this month and purchase our land, we are really in tension mode now with our financial. Really hope this would be the final help for 2016! Please. Prays heard.

The land will be sell off by this month with a good price. ! POSITIVE!

4 October 2016

Doubt or Truth

I was just told with a big news but I do not know if I should believe it or not, it's like 50/50. It can be true and it can be not, I need to hear from both sides but I do not know what's the right way to do it. I can't judge right now because I have only listened to one side of the story. I don't actually think it's a big problem but now I think it is. I did feel it a little but it is the truth now. I should probably reduce it. She has made a lot of problem in the group. We are all separated right now, almost. Thanks to her. I don't wanna care the choice that he made now, it's his life not mine. If this is not true, I will take back my words. That's it. I am finding way to confirm it. I am thinking how. 

I know I need to think about my future now. I need to find a way to leave this country but how? It's approaching and I am no longer young anymore. I know that, I am slowly searching for ways, somewhere in some sense this is not it. I am not sure. I wish everything could be like last time. Without her, comfortable hanging out with each other. Now it became, awkwardness. I am starting to hate her, I hope that it's a lie to get it. I really wish. 

World with all kind of people. That's why I don't like to surround myself with female friends, dramatic and gossips. Women's mouth there's nothing good to say, there have to be bad mouths. I wanna be a man. 

3 October 2016

A Day without the thought of DIET

Yesterday was a public holiday and it was my diet off day too! Yes, there's many off days to mine and I am so dead now. I trying to solve my bad habit for this month onwards. I wanna control the desire and stop the bad habit, I am scared and worried but hope it works out. I really need to solve it. I don't want it to be a year, it's dangerous enough now so I have made myself a new diet plan. I just need to stay strong and control the will and desire. I NEED TO DO IT!

I planned to stay in today actually but end up went out for the whole day with my mum. Brought her for late lunch then some dessert. Spend a lot which I suppose to be saving up for my year end trip! What the hell am I doing. But I am having these are the least I can afford to make them happy. I will work hard. We had some dessert at this new Korean cafe in Sri Petaling with bingsu, I am not gonna mention the name but it's newly opened. I highly do not recommend this place at all. The menu prices are so expensive for their quality! I have tasted 90% bingsu in Klang Valley, this is categorised on one of the worst bingsu I had and super expensive! The kimbab is small and expensive as well! If you gonna have that price, please make it worth eating instead! If the cafe don't improved, I doubt how long could they stand since there's many better bingsu around still! 

After the dessert, went to cousin's house to plan with my nephews! They grown so much from the last time I met them! Gosh. kids really grow really fast. Same like adults like me, grow old fast too. :( They are so adorable! Seeing kids with no worries, I miss my times. 

Well, went to meet the dudes after the cousins, sat a while just an hour and went off. Like what the hell. I need to learn to say NO in future.

Let the schedule begins. 

2 October 2016

Melaka and Port Dickson

Yesterday was a hectic day though and the traffic was bad as well. Early in the morning we head to Melaka. Took us almost 3 hours to reach there with the awesome terrific jam. I think it's because of the long holiday on Monday, everyone is leaving KL. I am sure the traffic is good this weekend not till Monday comes since everyone is coming back. It's sickening to wait in the jam. Once we reached there, the weather doesn't seem good, it rained a little. It was my first Malay wedding and it's in Melaka. We did dropped by long as well since there's no one that we know. Met the groom and bride, took some picture and ciao. The food wasn't really our kind but looks okay. It's a simple one as well. We were suppose to give packets like the Chinese, but we have got no idea who do we pass it too so we end up didn't give any. Feeling bad though and they gave us these door gifts the moment we left! 

Once we left Melaka, we head to Port Dickson. The route was quite clear this time, since we reached in time. The place was just soso  though it looks nice in the pictures. The view is okay but the beach is really dirty! That's why I don't go there. 

It wasn't really expensive though for the room for a family. Can consider going as family. Coincidentally my cousin was there as well. In Lexis Hibiscus, the one we wanted to go since I heard it's nicer there but a little pricey. But still okay, very relaxing place but it's a little packed with people which I dislike. We walked around the place, there's animal farm, 2 pools one specifically for adults. The place is quite old actually. Crazy thing is went all the way to Port Dickson to eat Korean food for dinner. It wasn't really good but wow, they even have Korean restaurant in Port Dickson now! I feel Korean is dominating Malaysia soon! Went to buy some alcohols and snacks and hang out in the hotel for a bit before heading back to KL. 

Again, went for a while for a yum cha session but everything seems to be hanging for the timing, closing time. That's where I am so craving for ice cream again. After some small snack, decided to go back since I did not had a good sleep the night before. Ate too spicy the night before! Regrets! I wanted to take a nap in the hotel but hard for me to sleep somewhere that's not my bed unless I am exhausted. At the end, I slept a while in the car unconsciously a while but oppa didn't not wake me up. I do not know how long I slept when we reached. Feeling bad and thankful at the same time. 

So it's time for bed early in the morning now.

Last day. And the new day for my final results, supposingly. 

1 October 2016

First Day of October

Today is the first day of October! New month New start! It's a fresh month! Things gonna get better right? Yesterday was really a busy day at work! Skipped lunch and work the whole day! Yet, there's still a lot to do. I wish I will get double pay too since I do double work now. Oh well, that's not possible right. Well, after work it's relaxing time so went to Solaris Mont Kiara again for dinner and yes, this time I age and I am so regretting it right now. Today onwards I need to resume my eat less now. Healthy habit starting Monday on wards and I need to it. 

Well, it's out HQ again. We come here almost everytime we are here. Love this place. I had two yogurts in a day! Just my favourite =3. This is Green Tea Frappe from Dal.koom. Their stuff is actually quite expensive though but they are nice. pfftt. Hang out for some time today, I had some drink and I don't want to have it anymore. It feels bad. I do not know why people like to drink till now. The feeling is horrid actually! It's not healthy either. 

There's a day trip today! First gonna attend a wedding in Melaka in the noon then we gonna head to Port Dickson! What a day it's gonna be! I hope it's gonna be a good day trip.