31 December 2016

Last Day of 2016

Well, today is the last day of 2016! It's unbelievable but time passes really fast! I can't believe it. Reflecting what I did for the past 1 year. I have more to achieve yet, sadly. But no worries I will make it though. Yesterday was my rest, drank too much the night before that I don't feel perfectly well throughout the day though. During the late evening, after collecting my car from the service centre, I  finally received the dinner invitation once again with the oppas though the feeling is a little different now, but after yesterday, I think I like this feeling even more since it felt more genuine, I actually felt touched and thankful. I never expect this from him and I feel happy when he mentioned it first. I really am grateful as well that he remembered my birthday. I really happy and thankful, they actually make me feel that I am genuinely remembered. My birthday wish was to spend time with them, cause I will never have this opportunity anymore and I hope tonight would be splendid night/birthday of my life with my lovely oppas! I wanna have a hug from them tonight, that would be my best birthday gift ever! =3 I wanna speak something in Korean as well. Working hard on how to say it though. I feel it would be nice to speak what I wanna say in Korean. Felt more loved I would say. 

I really had no appetite yesterday, I don't understand why people like to drink so much. The feeling was nice at  first, but as time goes by, the more you drink, the feeling is really awful. I throw up a few times to get myself sober so that I can drive back home. I actually stopped drinking the final round, cause I wanna stay alert to drive. Otherwise I can't go back at all. But tonight will be my last night of drinking, just lately I have this feeling. Maybe because new year is approaching. Anyway, again I had ice cream as my meal of the day. This is crazy! I think the second ice cream is even better. 

I think it's a meaningful year. Lots of things happened, that I learnt a lot. I learnt to be more mature and to control my feelings better, to be more professional and have a higher EQ! I think that's good. I wanna learn more. I wanna change for the good! My Korean improved a lot since I speak so often in Korean lately! I wanna hang out with them more, it's so fun. I am finding some way to get the guy I am interested out from his friend! Damn it, should have exchange number! 


30 December 2016

Crazy Night with the Koreans

Oh well, I had my off day yesterday and I did my eyebrown in the morning, took me some time though and it was quite pain when she did it. Yes, I am someone that cannot really stand pain. Right after the eyebrow thingie, fetch my sister to her college, it has been some time since I went all the way to Setapak. Thank god there weren't any much jam and I am still able to get back in time to get ready to go out for the night, which I never expect to be this late. While waiting for oppa to go to the dinner place, I waited a while in a cafe, which is pretty nice but quite pricey though. The banana blended is really sweet! Probably should have ordered their coffee instead. The ice cream was normal as well, should at least told me that the ice cream would come out this way so I wouldn't ordered two. Just a day and I spent a lot on myself already. 

After the waiting, we finally went to Damansara Uptown to have some dinner, at first we picked a Western cafe but because it was quite pricey we shift out attention to Korean good, then bingsu, which I forgot to take some picture because I drank quite a lot during dinner, the beer and a few cups of banana makgeoli, quick one that is. I wasn't really walking straight already. The food was just soso though. After the dinner, we went to the North Korean restaurant again, just because we did not order any expensive drinks or anything, the ladies did not served them. And he dare to say that the girls there are realistic, look who is talking, thank god I am able to play along well on that night. Last round we actually joined the oldest oppa's Korean friend though. It was crazy and I drank a lot, really to my limit. They were surprise when I can speak and understand Korean, as usual. After the dinner with the Korean for the another round, we went to another place for a final round. I am KOed almost during the last round, I want to go back but I need to sober up before I can. And within a night I gained a KG, now I dare not eat anything to loose back the 1 more KG. Damn it. This happens when we are always out together. The best part, I get to know someone that I think it's close to my type! It was awesome but I dare not ask for his number though. I hope there's more chance for us to hang out before he leaves? He's quite cool for his age! pftt. I wanna know him more. I want more hang outs like these. I enjoyed. I wonder if the oppas remembers my member, if they do, I am really touched. 

I came back really late in the morning. I feeling really sleep now updating this blog. Now, I need to loose back 1 KG for these two days. Damn it but I need to. Reality. I think I can finally get over it. Fighting! 

29 December 2016

Two More Days for 2016

Tick tock tick tock. It's gonna be the end soon. I can't sleep the night before, thinking too much every time before I sleep, which I do not know why though. I have already planned things out for 2017, everything is ready but not sure why. Maybe because it's approaching. I feel anxious and nervous at the same time. Probably my age is catching up and I wanna achieve lots of things. I really wish to fulfil most of it for 2017's resolution. Otherwise, I would feel incomplete towards the end of 2017 since I achieved most of 2016's. Yesterday was actually my last day of work for 2016! A New Year, A New Beginning, everything would be good for sure. It will, positive. What I learnt a lot lately. I always  think too much the night before I sleep, I was so sleepy yesterday. I was supposed to finish some stuffs as well. Oh well. It's eyebrow doing today! Hope I wouldn't look weird. I spent a lot trying to beautify myself for 2017. I should spend less and save more 2017 onwards. Just a few moments away.

As myself aged, my generation idols seems to age as well. As far as I have noticed would be Big Bang's TOP. He lost so much weight and he looks old now. I noticed this when I watched their SBS Gayodaejun! Or maybe the hair colour or the stress he is having? But nevertheless, Big Bang's songs are amazing as ever. My style, that's why I am so inlove with G-Dragon still since after high school, almost 9 years I am in love with him, holy shit. I feel so old now, Big Bang has been around for almost more than 10 years! Gosh! Yeap, that's my generation man. This is so nostalgic though. Time passes so fast. This group never failed to amuse me, I wish they would stay together for long though TOP is leaving for military next February. Gonna need to wait for 2 years again, hope by them, there's still Big Bang! LOVE YOU GUYS! 

Probably the last performance yet? I am gonna miss watching them. They are the only performance that I would actually watch the whole video clip without skipping a single bit. Including their appearance in variety shows! They don't appear much in shows, so why should I skip? :)

I can't wait for this weekend's Goblin new episode already. I never been so eager in watching a drama in my life. Probably because this story touches something I like that sparks my interest and I enjoyed it. I hope it would be interesting till the end. I never a fan of Lee Dong Wook, though I have followed him for some time but Goblin made me like him a lot though. I am not sure if I still do if the drama ends but for now, I really do like him. I want him to appear in The Return of Superman again! He's cute in the show with kids. I don't mind going for him though there's age gap! He's awesome and handsome! AHH, about the kids how, Seo Kang Jun is really good looking! I can't seem to find pictures from the scene, but he looks mature in the show with his flower boy looks but he's not really my type since I like more manlier and mature kind of guy. I wonder if they would cast Gong Yoo or Won Bin that kind of guy. I am curious with how they would be though since they have this strong cool image, that aura is different. 

Oh there's lots of pictures in my blog lately. I would probably change my background this weekend. After sometime for Christmas, gonna change something nice for New Year as well. Probably tomorrow? Since I am free, sadly towards end of the year. I mentioned this a lot of time, I really missed those days the trip I had together with them, but it's different now. Not sure if there's more this kind of chances after what had happened, solely not my fault, you know but that's a waste, cause I have a sincere heart. Cheh wah. But yeah, I miss the bonding, really miss them. I have nothing big to wish for during my birthday, just hope that everything goes well in terms of family, health and career. Lastly, to spend my first and last birthday with my three good friends. That's all I can ask for. 

28 December 2016

Final week for 2016

Can you believe it? It's the final week for 2016 and few more days till my birthday which means I am gonna be older by a year soon! This is so scary! I wanna stay at this age forever. I wanna be Globin, to live in immortal but yet still able to experience the bits of life! Well, probably too much experiences in life would be scary too. I am feeling grateful with every little bits of things in life lately, ever since after two years. We only live once, be grateful. I am not someone who has a big heart last time, but I slowly increased the size of my heart from time to time. I will continue to do so in near future. OPPA-DEUL thank you for putting an effort on bringing me back in the group. Thank you and I will put my effort as well. I have long way to go. To learn, to change for the good and to social! I am ready for the challenge, bring it on!

I was quite tensed up last week, maybe cause 2017 is approaching and I was afraid if I can make it for my 2017 resolutions. I can't be negative already before even trying, it's gonna work out regardless, be positive. Don't avoid, make it happen! Don't just dream about it, put an effort and it will work out, might need some time, might be tough but as long as I don't give up, work hard and smart, it will turned out well! I am able to sort out my feelings this few days. I am able to make out my mind now. Everything is set and ready for 2017, it's only me now to work things out! AND NOW, am ready and rocking on towards the ending of 2016! I manage to take over myself, good start and would like to improve more! Feeling enlighten and positive! IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR ONWARDS! FIGHTING! =) Fruitful. 

I am having long weekend again, I really wanted to go for a trip. Hard to match up my time with friends. Don't dare to mention again to my oppas since they are always the one who fork out my part, I feel really bad and burden. But I really want to go for a trip with them, cause I don't have many time left with them anymore. Sigh, felt like it's gonna be hard but this is gonna be one of my 2017 resolution as well. Fingers crossed. It will happen soon.

I am out of colours that I wanna dye for my hair since I have just changed the colour to sort of violet, purple pink? My final colour. I have been changing every half year. From red, pink, all tones or purple, blue, green, copper, grey. What else? Orange doesn't seems nice, I don't like the colour. I wanna dye silver but I am scared that I would look old with the colour, cause I don't have a milky skin. I might just leave it as it is till it totally fade, I  don't like like colouring my hair anymore. It makes me hair dry and my scalp isn't that good anymore because of my diet. Since I have decided to fix it next week onwards, I can only start treating my scalp at the same time. Otherwise it would be useless. I need to make sure it wouldn't be in 2017 for this bad habit! Wanna be healthy! Fighting yoh! 

So much to memorise, the final notes that I wrote. More than I expected and so many unfamiliar words. Took me some time though. I guess I need more time for this, probably the whole month of January, of course if I could finish before, it's even better. I am not that kind that eats cake, unless it's ice cream cake but lately am craving for these ice cream cakes cause I don't really get to eat one since it's really expensive. I can only watch and drool sadly. These cakes looks good! I wonder if here has these kind of cakes. The pictures are enough to make me drool. 

I think if there's no replies from the group, I would probably give up trying to keep in touch with these people. If they have heart, they would at least leave a message of consent. I don't know why it's always me the one who puts in effort to keep in touch, will I be able to meet someone who appreciates my friendship again... I wanna meet more this kind of friends, probably it's up to faith. I am tired ad. This would be my last shot for 2016, I am gonna let it go next year onwards. Besides, widening my social connection is my 2017 resolution as well though I am doing it a little these days. It's not hard, but to learn and practise. So much to talk. Few more post to new chapter of my life ! Exciting, nervous and happy at the same time..

27 December 2016

One day. I made it.

I managed to control yesterday though I had some snacks from Beijing, not my favourites my taste not bad. I had a rest day yesterday though since mum is not well and I planned to start my study today which I actually did. But felt like my brain has reached the capacity towards night. Memorising since the evening though. Yet, still lots more to go to memorise, haven't reach grammar even. Pfft. Hope I can finish them before Lunar year. I managed to control yesterday, a good start. I hope this will continue till end of the year. I need totally stop it by 2017. I can't bring it over as mentioned. I just want to be healthy and successful next year, I wanna change for the good as well. Bright year ahead, remember? Positive! I remind myself everyday and I can do this man! Lately, I am so into Goblin drama, I really love the characters! Still excite me though it's already half. I am looking forward. I never thought I would be this interested with this drama. I have been day dreaming really often though. GRRR~ Feeling the craze. 

I hope I can control for the rest of the week as well, and to maintain as well. I wanna start work out but I am so lazy which I can't. I need to keep my body fit to wear bikini next year, my another resolution, I need to have the least a nice body to wear once in my life. I don't wanna stay on like this for the rest of my life though. So yeah next week please work out diligently JERICA! I am waiting till new year comes to cut my nails too, it's so hard to type with long fingernails. I am gonna leave it long again for Lunar year, a month. I need to keep my wait to wear some Chinese traditional clothes as well. GRRR! Wait, I need to maintain for the rest of my life though. To be healthy, which is important otherwise there's no point having a successful career right? 2017 resolutions. I need to achieve more, I achieved some in 2016. HAPPY GIRL. Don't give up regardless, learn from mistakes but not from the same mistakes, change for the best, accept and learn! Have a big heart and do more charities! =3

I am so addicted with these two dudes lately. Cool ahjeossis! =3 They are sort of close to my type, and yes I like older guys, I am certain of it now. I like someone who's mature and could guide me. I want someone that I can rely and count on, someone I could lean on comfortably and with love. When can I find this him? It's not gonna be easy, just a dream that I gonna keep. For now, let's focus on my career! :D

26 December 2016

Rest, rest and rest.

Since yesterday was a Christmas Day, we actually had a holiday today instead. So I have got an extra day rest. I slept in really late yesterday, it has been so long since I woke up this late though. It's not good, probably the last one in 2016 that I am gonna sleep in this late. I have been thinking a lot the night before, that I slept at 6AM. Early during the early morning, come one, it's Christmas eve though. I gained a KG from just a night as well, so that's why exercising is really important. My 2017 resolution is to love one more KG and maintain it healthy. It's a must I should say. 

I wish he's sincere with what he said cause I was. I just wish the invitation is sincere as well though my heart waiver a little if he's genuine or not but yeah, I wanna be positive that he is, everything is and still feeling thankful. I was said that I need to be charitable for a long time whether it involves money or not, it needs to be a sincere heart. I am trying to do so lately. I wanna the good out of my life too though. I don't wanna the bad, I wanna give my mum the most since she's the only one I have now. And well, the siblings, regardless, they are still the only family members I have. Charities start at home, if I can't do this simple thing, what's more charity at society, right? It's gonna be a good 2017! I am deciding whether if I should further my studies in Germany or work in Ireland now, it all depends on the land income in after Chinese New Year. I am handling in the letter end of February probably and meanwhile, I need to do some research on the further studies, the expenses, how much I need. Otherwise, it's gonna be Ireland? 

I feel so comfortable with them now that, I voluntary tells my stuffs but not the most to them. Since they already know. I feel at ease with them. I feel like I am leaning on them and feeling thankful. I am feeling a lot of thankful lately. I think I mentioned a lot in the card I wrote to them. I wonder if they have read the card. I feel really grateful with little things lately cause I feel I need to appreciate little things in life. There's not much time with them left, since they are leaving. I have finally spent my Christmas with them, first and probably the last. I wish to spend my first New Year and birthday with them. I don't need any present or anything, just a day with them and I would be really happy. Probably the best present that I could ever have. Fingers crossed that they would have some time.


25 December 2016

Merry Christmas!

Well, my Christmas was well spent. I woke up really late today since I need to wake up early for the past few days! So I actually slept in yesterday. Manage to revise a little before the dinner. The rain was so heavy during then. Met the oppas for dinner, I actually felt a little out cast since it has been some time since we hang out really often together, some topic that I can't get. I felt like I am out of the circle already. I try my best to held my emotions, cause I felt disappointed. But I need to have a good EQ, so I tried my best. I feel thankful that the oldest tried to bring me in the topic. Really thankful. Finally gave the gift of my heart to all of them. I have done my part and it's up to fate if everything would return as it is, I miss those days. I really treated them as oppas. Really do. After dinner end up eating bingsu with oldest oppa which I should not, but I can't help it, it was good! Even had a Starbucks again as well. This is bad though. I shouldn't be drinking or eating this kind of stuffs though. Pictures, some I can't post it on my Facebook so I can't post it. Well at least the bingsu. I never really like mango but this is good though and it's a lot, barely can finish it though. But it's really nice! I love this bingsu place! 

The other two oppas had their fun with you know the place. We joined it late though. Had some with le oppa's GF's daughter. She's so cute! I miss playing with younger kids though. I am so envious with them actually. Sigh. When is my turn to have such a happy family.  After the bingsu, we actually went to the place where the other oppas are. The night was crazy, karaoke and drunk during Christmas eve. I am glad and hope things are getting better and that I am not outcast from the group again actually, I feel hurt. But the night was awesome though it wasn't really appropriate. The bonding with le oppas are nice. 

Anyway, it's Christmas today! Wishing everyone MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS. I wish to spend a meaningful New Year like today as well. 

24 December 2016

STOP, Need to. Lee Dong Wook. =3

Though I having my off days on weekdays last two days but I felt like I am more busy than usual though, I was basically out the whole day! I really wish that my next week's off day, I can stay in so I choose to settle all my stuffs this week. Including repackaging myself! I can't wait for my salary already since I spent so much this week ! :( Well, I actually went to the company but there's no one ope the door, something weird though and I wish to find out later at the same time. What kind of company is this and how come the Koreans still manage to get some information for me to go there and meet them? Weird. I guess they are competitors or something? And the place looks cozy though since it's near the hotel. But the building is really old though. Oh well, I am just doing what I should to since I am paid already, doing my responsibilities. 

Later that, I actually went to Sunway Velocity! Like finally since there's not much people now though. Still it's not easy to find packing but thank god we had luck to find one cause I heard it was crazy to even find one. There were many brands you need at that place, probably the best mall in Cheras so far. I guess this would be my hang out place pretty often in future, they should have karaoke place as well, since they have a cinema. A pretty good place but still there's a few brands not there, like Forever 21, G2000 and so. Still good enough though.

I am seriously an ignorant, yesterday symptom was really bad enough, chest pain. I feel it even worse yesterday night and I am still doing it. what am I thinking. I seriously should stop it and stop cold beverages and desserts as well. I should really watch my eating now, this is really dangerous actually! I really hate myself for not healing it yet, a week left till new year. Please do it already before it's too late.

Lately I am really into Lee Dong Wook! He's good looking at the same time funny as well. I used to like him, but guess I am back to him after Goblin. The new episodes are this weekend! I can't wait for the subtitles to release already! I am so eager with the new episodes! But it's dreadful to wake till weekend! Pfttt. I never so into a drama for so long, this is it, my sort of kind of drama I noticed. I am feeling inlove now.

There's no such guy in Malaysia at this age, women you still can see but man totally no. Koreans really take care of themselves really well till old age. I guess exercise is really important and I should start right now before I get too old and it's too late though! PFTT! Next week already? It's Christmas eve, what's your plan for the day? I am sure restaurants and cafes would be quite pack for dinner. 

23 December 2016

Rest/ Off Days

Oh well, it's my long off days, long weekend this week as well as next week though. It's a good time for me to actually finish my notes at the soonest if possible before year end with my second book since I am in advance with my schedule for 2017. But the notes are a lot though, I hope I can do it! I still need to work during my off days, I don't mind if it's something I wanna do. Ever since I finished my book 1 I have been procrastinating since it to today onwards I need to be serious and revise finish, stop going out and save money for next year! I need to heal myself also, so once a day is the limit not twice a day, please. I am not suppose to bring forward this habit to 2017 too, I need to achieve lots of things next year. A lot of things to do as well. Oh well, be positive and good. Reminding myself everyday. 

Christmas is this weekend, I wonder if it's gonna be the same as the other days or I am gonna spend it with my other friends or something. I never really celebrate Christmas but this time I am really into Christmas though. I am not sure why, but I like the Merry feeling. I wish to spend with them since there wouldn't be any chances any more. Same goes with New Year. Well. Let's just hope I am been invite instead instead of inviting myself in? I am not sure. I am actually really nervous and scared to face it, but I know it's something I need to face it regardless to change myself. It's really hard to overcome it, but I will try my best regardless. It's something that I need to train myself to change. It's not something can be done overnight, as I was told of. I think it's important to change this though so I am working hard on it. The other day was still bad since my oppa found out, sort of. :(

I am spending more time with le mum now, since I am home more often lately. I think she likes it as well when I am here since I am able to bring her around. Felt like I am the only that would bring her around. Since I am free, I mean I do not need to study, so yeah. I like having a stroll with her as well. She's the only one I have now though. Who else can I depend on besides her and myself? I need to change my temper as well. Trying my best and I am doing it.

I wish I will meet more good people next year and climbing up the stairs to my success. I wish to meet the one as well. I noticed I like older guys lately, of course a cool one. HAHA. But I guess there isn't any here. I can only keep dreaming and dreaming and fantasise about it, sadly. 


22 December 2016

Goblin. 쓸쓸하고 찬란하神-도깨비.

I just officially started my drama 쓸쓸하고 찬란하神-도깨비, Goblin! I told myself that I need to wait the least half, and I will start watching and it is! I started it yesterday and I am so addicted to it right now. As for now, I really like the story flow, the love line and the characters despite the age gap, I still think it's sweet! Okay, I am so sure now that I prefer older and mature guys, I don't even mind if the partner of mine is older than me for more than 10 years but please, not more than 15 years probably. HAHA! Before I watch the drama, my friend asked me if I would choose Gong Yoo or Lee Dong Wook, I right away picked Lee Dong Wook without hesitation. But now, I can't make my choice cause I like them both! =3 I think they fit well the character, compared to other hit dramas, this drama is my most favourite! I basically did not skipped much, any parts! I watched all! That's really a rare occasional for me. The OST is awesome well. TVN's dramas are good sometimes! I like their type of stories. 

I am so eager with the next episode right now, I really hope the storyline stays good till the end of the drama. Usually it gets boring in the middle, but at least it needs to be interesting towards the ending! Their outfits are awesome in the drama, the scenes the jokes and the interactions. I enjoyed! Can really barely see me so into a drama but this is it. I can't wait for this week's episode already! Pfftt. This drama actually healed me, I am glad that I started watching it. THANK YOU! 

I forgot to wish this yesterday but here it is, it's a special day yesterday where family gathers as well. I love eating this but depending on the flavours inside. I usually only take peanut or sesame, I dislike red beans. Plain one is fine to me as well. It's practically quite a meaningful day yesterday. I wanted to call the oppas for dinner actually but we were all busy to clean the house or do the preparation, maybe during Lunar Year. I really need to gather them during then. I really wanna type with Korean at times but I did not memorise the keyboard. Hmph. Oh boy, I am feeling much better now. Since I manage to clear my Japanese drama list (finally), now I have tones of Japanese dramas to watch. Also, I am in advance with my second note book, but this is a huge amount of vocabularies and grammars! Hope to finish it before lunar year too. woots!

21 December 2016

Released. Better.

I did something really bad yesterday. I am not someone that has a good temper, but improved a lot okay! It has been so long since I behaved so within a year and I hope I can reduce more next year. First, it's not good for health or for my karma. So I should control well and think positive with a big heart! I was told that I am someone who needs to do more charity with a sincere heart and where does it starts? HOME! PFTT. Sincere is from nature of a human, can't do a charity for the sake of clearing of your bad karma. I learnt and I will try my best to change for good. I have been doing so, it's not easy to change one's character, but I am trying my very best. I wanna have a better life. I am not someone who has patience or love waiting but I acknowledge that I have improved compared to the old me, but yet, I still need more improvement! Compared to my mum's it's not good enough. I learnt to make use, the good way of my impatience to fix it to be better. After been through so much, I learnt that I need to change the least to lead a better life. If all these did not happened, I would be the same me. As I always said, things happened for a reason, I am taking all these as lesson in life to learn and change  for a better living. Yet, I have more to learn about people and myself. At least, I experienced it early for a change but this is just the beginning. Long road to go and to pursue! In a week more, dreams come true! I am gonna believe so, Positive remember? :) I am not gonna bring over the bad vibes or habits over, like my diet, one week left for me to cure myself to be healthy and not do it anymore in 2017 onwards, never ever though it's really a struggle still now, I am doing it. I am still trying and gonna do it till I STOP before 2017 comes. Change for good as well. My career, though it's still uncertain with my plans even if I have them due to financial, but I am sure it will work out, I am already ready to tender my letter and venture the world. I smell fruits :) Need to carry out actions to succeed, can't just sit there and wait. I am ready for the batter, BRING IT ON! 

I was quite emotional, depressed and sad last few days. I just wondered and wish there's more good and sincere people in the world. My mood changed really fast, I am the kind and I am trying to change this now. Cause it will scram all my friends away if I am out with them. So I am always feeling bad with the oppas, out of the blue my mood will change from happy-sad-moody-talkative-quiet-hyper-silent. I am sorry, so sorry! I am fixing it, hard but doing my best. I am not that type who complains really often too so I still wanna reduce it as well. Always just talk good about others if wanna do so. :) I need to learnt to let go the bad and keep the good cause his is life. I need to experience it the least, people don't appreciate your friendship and treat you like a toy? Let them be, you done your part and God will do the rest, KARMA. I am not the believer kind of person but KARMA is not a joke at all. My advice is to do good as much as you could with a sincere heart in your life. You will never know. After saying what I wanna say, I actually felt much better! It actually makes a different if you keep it. Some things you can but not everything. I always keep my problem to myself, even till now. Actually, that day I don't even wanna say it out but was forced to. What has been done, has been done. I never really spilt the story of my life till recently. I did it voluntary till I break out in front of my friends. I never once did that in my entire life. Even in front of my mum or during my dad's funeral, I just feel that I need to be strong as an eldest. But that day, I can't seem to hold it and broke down. I feel loose. I feel like I have someone to lean on though it wouldn't be long anymore. That's why now, or from now onwards, better it's good or bad, I try and tend to appreciate every little thing in life. Probably, some people wouldn't be able to experience it or having a life much worst than mine? You can do this, Jerica. You can DO IT! 

My dream every year since young it to settle down in a Western country and regardless, I wanna make it come true. Time is up and it's coming and I will make it. I hate depending a person but sometimes, you can't help it. When I succeed, I will need to repay immediately to throw away this in-debt feeling, I just don't like it especially when it's not blood related to you. When you depend someone, you will not have much right to say. I wanna shake that off, I wanna succeed and be independent. I wanna depend on my own! Especially when it comes to financial and career! Anyhow, it's not gonna be an easy path, but I am willing to walk through it. Road to succeed will never be easy. Consequence and obstacles to bare and learn at the same time. Life though. 

Thank you everyone who contribute to the learning of my life whether it's good or bad. I am grateful, still. Without you guys, I wouldn't able to grow and mature as a lady. I am gonna continue to venture more.


20 December 2016


I feel so emotional lately, and I do not know why, this is the one thing that I would like to fix about myself, I always think too much. Overdo it that caused the "ME" now. But some times I really just can't help it. I will try my best. The weekend has been really busy though, I have no time to revise the notes, so I guess I would probably extend it till mid-March, the least my last month probably, with my current. I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time. Finally, two years has passed. Time passes really, it's so scary. 

I have finally decided that once I give the card, I will accept whatever results as it is. I don't think wanna think so much anymore though I feel affected by it cause I was sincere but I was just abandoned just like that after that day. I feel disappointed and sad but life goes on, I feel naive too naive myself but this is something I need to go through in life. Human nature, though I wish there's more good and sincere people in the world. I will take this as an experience to make myself stronger and wiser. I do not know if it's the right thing that I make myself feel so attached and cared. I am trying to reduce myself now. Otherwise, I would always be the one who's greatly hurt. I am scared of the feeling. I managed to pull myself out from the feeling again this time, I mean from being too deep. There's improvement. :) 

I had a meaningful new year this year. I wish next year would be more meaningful. I really do wish though but.. I don't know. Life is unpredictable and we can't tell what's gonna happen next. Of course we all do hope that the good happens more than the bad. It will be, be always positive and it will be! I WILL HAVE A MEANINGFUL BIRTHDAY! :) cause I have awesome people around me, I would say. ^^

Yes, I did thought of having a relationship but I am not in a rush to have one to have so many weird dudes approaching me! Please give me a normal one? Korean guys the least? Japanese guys seems fine too. Lately I have widen my choices to Western guys. HAHA! I would consider local guys but please, their approach are lame and boring. Who on earth would still text and send you lame messages? WTH? Yes, I prefer older guys, but this is not it? Sigh. When will the "HE" ever come? I am getting older and feeling inexperienced, totally raw. 

I finally decided to take a break from Facebook cause I felt like it's emotionally affecting me as well. Looking at people travel around when you can't. How they became so loaded to travel? I wanna learn as well. I really want to have a break of life but seems hard when you do not have much savings. Sad life. I wish I do not need to worry about this in future. I am feeling stressed and tensed up lately as well, probably it's because of New Year that's approaching and that's so many things that I need to do but I have yet start anything or closely achieving it. What a life. 

19 December 2016

New Friends. Sort out my Feelings.

Well, my Saturday was a really busy day though. Woke up early to drop my mum at post office and headed to Midvalley to discuss my future and I got hit by it. I really want to work at overseas, I need to find some way to save up and get it in order to pursue it. It's really time to work out some plan, I feel really stressed right now though I need to be positive. I feel sad at times that I am not from a rich background and during this era, it's hard to get myself out of the country to settle down aboard these days. Unlike the older era, it was much easier though. Before the discussion, I actually went to the Winferfest in the hall, there were so many interesting stuffs! I spent a lot in the fair, mostly on food. Pfftt! The place was getting more packed as time goes by, but yeah, too much ice cream or cold stuffs for the day! I finally get to try this ice cream and do not need to travel down so far to get this, it was actually quite good but expensive though. My probably first and last. I just love ice creams! I wonder how they made this shape! Looks good! My favourite flavours as well ! 

I wanted to collect my last Chinese book actually that day but I was too busy and in a rush to collect so I would probably do it next week. It's too far and too rush. I feel bad that the new friends that I just met wanted to have dinner with me, final actually before they leave but I had an appointment that I couldn't make it, all I could do is just left them with 2 packs of their favourite, Alicafe. I was too in rush, I feel bad but they were nice. I will do the survey well for them! Rushed to Bukit Bintang to meet some friends. I noticed Koreans are not good at informing well their whereabouts beforehand? Or is it just me? I think it's better to let people know the whereabouts to avoid confusion though, oh well. Sigh, sad that I am always out of the picture most of the time, probably after Christmas, after passing the my last gifts/cards, I will try to refrain myself as much to invite now. I am too sensitive I should say and really inexperience obviously, I wanna try to train myself on this. Otherwise, it would be really bad and hard on me. I wanna try my feelings to be strong and positive! I got some inspiration on that day, I NEED TO BE POSITIVE REGARDLESS! So yeah, I am gonna do it. I don't wanna think so much anymore. One thing that I am always in the picture is about ice cream and Korean guys. HEHE :) My fault. Oh well, time for a change for a better life! 

We had dinner at Jalan Alor, apparently the Thai girl knows more well than me and she's rich. Sigh. Some people just naturally has good life. I wish mine is coming too. After the dinner, went for another round for chicken wings since it's famous there with sate, their favourite. I drank two bottles of water during dinner and had yogurt ice cream. I am not much of the appetite during that moment so I gave oppa ate all instead. Don't feel quite well though. Went for the last round at a bar. I drank a bottle of water again. I just don't feel like having anything that night. I feel like I had too much of hit up that day, need some time to sort my feelings, career, family and friends. It's a new day and new week, getting myself back up once and for all. No looking back! Need to success! I need to start the plan today onwards as well! 

18 December 2016

Hang Out with Le Family

Well, last Friday was a fruitful day off though. Met my new Korean friends that was introduced, went out to have some lunch with them at Ampang Korean town, glad they like the food, they were quite satisfied actually. I got what I supposed to get as well, had Starbucks after the lunch, I guess it's the Korean style, a cup of coffee after a heavy meal. It has been some time since I ate so heavy in the noon. I usually only do that during dinner. I know, it should be the other way. It has been some time since I been to Ampang Point as well, so I walked a little before going back home. The place changed quite a bit, we used to hang out there as a family. I kinda miss those memories. Bought some kimbab, pies and donuts, just to reminiscence those days. Time passed. We are so old now. 

When I reached home, thought of bringing my mum to the new mall, Sunway Velocity, since the place is a hit now, the first big mall in Cheras, basically it has all the brands you need, most of it. I have yet to visit yet cause last minute my aunt invite us for dinner at Tom, Dick and Harry's, as well as live band, it was quite noisy though or maybe because we are quite close but the hang out was good and meaningful. I basically ticked my bucket lists in a day though! I managed to try Softserve lite that's newly opened at Pavilion, as well as Miru Dessert with le mum, the Japanese toast I mentioned. She said it's good as well. I drank two Starbucks in a day as well! I tried all their seasonal drinks, from Red Ribbon Green Tea Latte, Toffee something and Peppermint mocha? So no more excuses right? It was a good hang out day. I ate too much, too much that I am worried that it will exceed the one which I can't. GRRR! Two more weeks left. I need to make it. 

I drank too much that day so I can't drink anymore. I don't wanna drink anymore. The feeling is awful and I do not know why people like it, the feeling as well. This is really insane. The pork knuckle is just soso though but the sauce was quite good as well as the mashed potatoes. The price of the food is actually quite pricey, that's why I don't come to this kind of places to eat. I wish one day I can afford though. The ice cream was quite good but I actually think it's quite normal for the price though but the staff was friendly. I don't think I would try a few times for the price. But the flavors are totally different from the rest of the branches. I think they have good marketing plan, since they have it in Petaling Jaya, Kuala Lumpur, Cheras and Ampang. I thought of that as well, but they are a step quicker. Sad. Money. I just love ice creams but I should stop shop since I solved my cravings. I can't increased the one, all my effort. I really wanna start the work out for two weeks the least to get use to it first, before 2017! 

I have lots of off days till end of the year, and this is the challenge. My diet. I know I can't continue this, so this weekend is the last challenge I am gonna deal. I have been saying this too much and I wish I do not need to say this anymore in two weeks time. I am trying my best to control the resistance, it's hard but I need to overcome it for my health purpose, it's getting really dangerous now since it's almost a year. So far only one person who knows my secret, but I just wanna stop it, PLEASE. 

Occasionally I would think about it though. It'just that I feel it's a waste. I know good times wouldn't last long but I guess I need more time to get use to this and overcome it. It's time to learn and move forward but wasting time and energy thinking about it. Not worth it. I feel there's a lot of pictures on my blog lately and that's interesting! Right? HAHA. I wonder if there's really readers to my blog since there's no response on the chatbox. The least, I can speak my feeling here since I do not have close friends to talk to, this is my best friend. I can say anything I like. Pros and cons. I don't receive advice. That's cool to me. 

17 December 2016

Helping Hand.

Well, I was having my off day yesterday. Coincidentally, a friend of mine who went back to South Korea introduced me to his friends to help out with something. But end up I need to do it next week since the person is on leave though and I got a good pay for it so imma gonna do well for this task! I am feeling grateful now, that's why I prefer to mix people who's older than me. I learnt and the connection would probably be better. End up we just had lunch together at Ampang Korean town and a coffee. Pffttt. Mission postponed. I noticed that Koreans really like Alicafe here. They even need to find it though they are here. That's really amazing though. I heard it's expensive in Korea. It's quite expensive here too though. I wonder if anyone brought in to Korea at better rate though. Day well spent on my off days and busy weekend it's gonna be. I still need to slot in some time for my Korean study, can't always be out as well since I need to save up.

Friend is leaving to France for work, when is it gonna be my turn? It's good when you can speak another language for a Malaysian, cause for Chinese mostly, we already speak multiple language. I really wanna brush up my Korean though I speak more often lately, I still wanna speak more to improve it. I wanna speak well. I wish they would actually correct me if my spoken language has any mistakes. I am so envious, I wanna leave this country for work in overseas too, I hope mine is coming, I have been waiting really long though.

I have actually achieved it but seems like I am not satisfied and forcefully trying to loose one more before the plan next week, somehow I feel like it's not gonna work but I need to succeed it before 2017. This is so stress. Why do I have to be so stress about this as well. I really need to tone my body, if I can make it before Lunar Year, I feel like piercing my stomach actually. I wanted to pierce more my ears but yeah, convinced by mum not to do it though. I am resisting really well for this though. Moreover, I am a frequent blood donor now, so this stops me as well. Otherwise, I would have do it. And the tattoo thing, I am a big fan of tattoo! I wanted to do a permanent one for a long long time but I have been holding it for some time because of the price and the blood donation thing. Sigh, I might do it one day, a small wording or what so ever. See how the future holds. It's also because of work as well, I wanna be a professional so yeah, I am holding the desire. 

I am feeling a little sad lately that the good time has already over. I miss my older brothers. I wish I can hang out with them as much as we used to. But we seems to hang out less often know thanks to someone. But the pros and cons, it's not so good to meet so often as well. Once a while is good still. I am busy this weekend so I would probably invite them out next week for Christmas. Since I have something for them. I wanna get some small gift, but I can't seem to find a good one, a key chain probably. Not easy to find since they are dudes. Trip. I missed the trip already. Wonder if there's anymore trips like this anymore. I missed those moments. Life. Good and bad times come and go really fast. :(

I should stay in more often now since I need to save for my overseas work next year. STOP HANGING OUT SO MUCH AND STUDY MORE your language! I need to take exams next year though.

2017 will be a BRIGHT YEAR  for my CAREER AND SOCIAL! 

16 December 2016

Timetable for 2017. Japanese TOAST is loved!

Well, I finally worked out my 2017 study plan as my diet plan is always ready. It's just up to me whether if I would follow it. The duration is just nice for my study plan if possible I would like to finish it in advance though but I can't rush it too, I need to revise it throughly. Gonna make use every second I have to revise, till I finish everything before starting TOPIK II study. Probably I would take two months to study for my Chinese exam. I will see how it goes. I was supposed to finish my plans research but I have not finish anything yet, all half way. Damn it. I need to finish it by next week. Procrastinating a lot lately. Maybe because of it. I need to keep things on track! 

It would be a busy weekend as well since I need to be out to meet some friends and to discuss some stuffs, I hope is promising but seems a little hard, comes to an end it's always about money. It's sad though. Seeing my friends travelling freely and yet me, wishing I was in their position instead. I am just tired of being envious, I would really wanna achieve my goals and resolutions. I wanna do well. Watch me. I will. 

Lately I am into Japanese toast! I have always see this dessert around but never really tried it till recently and I love it actually. The fact there's ice cream and honey inside and ice cream outside! I just love it. I wanna try others as well. 

I wanna try to make this though. Seems really nice and interesting. Okay, I am supposed to revise not searching recipes. I am not that type that cooks in fact I really hate cooking, sorry to future husband, I am not a house wife material kind, sorry to say. I do cleaning at home but when comes to cooking it would be a big NO. One of the activity I hate the most though. My speciality is just eat. HAHA! And do the dishes. That's it I would say. I am looking for a good place for Japanese toast in Klang Valley. Anyone knows? Besides, Miru Dessert Cafe and Haruju Cube. Any others to introduce? I am eager to try. :)

Alan Walker is in town and I can't make it cause there's companion and I doubt there would be tables left at ZOUK for me to attend tonight. But just in case if anyone saw this post and is going, please do invite me along as well! I actually think that the party would be awesome with his songs! Gosh, I am gonna missed something awesome again because of .... oh well, my life for now. Fingers crossed.