28 July 2017

Struggle and Struggle, Trying.

While typing this post, I am really worried that I can't hold it when I am back when I know I need to. I am in a great dangerous situation where I need to STOP instantly, failed many times and still trying my best to do it still. I am not giving up and hope to STOP now. I am worried and scared cause my health is affected badly now. I just wanna heal from this sickness. I just wanna get away from this, I don't want to get worse, so please. Be determine, persistent and strong cause you can do this, this at the same time will determine your success as well. It has been going on for too long and I don't want that to continue to happen anymore. What's the point to have the peak of my career if I am not healthy? So please and please again. I need to make it regardless! I feel so sleepy lately, sleeping late trying to finish of my retrieving, as the list goes down, there's more to more to it though. Probably would take me till November though, that would be my maximum and start study for my languages exam by December onwards! I am gonna study till the maximum for 2018 since there's so much actions this year. I have my bad habit to solve, my songs to finish sort out and retrieve. Starting my new work in a week more and I am quite worried as well. Trying to attend more meet ups as possible to meet new good friends and of course it's not easy though. It counts on chemistry not amount of people you know. This is life though. I have been resting for some time with meeting different people around and hope to resume any time soon. I have a car now so it's not so inconvenient though. I try to use as little as possible since there's still money in my sister's student card. I wanna finish it off. I am trying to estimate how long does it take for me to actually to travel to my new place with public transport cause driving would cost me more and of course the timing as well. I think I need to calculate all these next week though. So much to do but so little time. I know my post always repeats what am trying to say. More responsibilities and commitments as time goes by. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I would say it would be a good once, cause I would be more mature as a human! 






Last Tueday, there's this sudden though that came up to me after lunch, I don't know why but I suddenly felt frustrated and emo thinking about it. I have been listening a lot to the 90s songs lately. More peaceful, nice and friendly. Those girl groups and boy group songs. I just love listening to them lately. Can't believe I still remember them though. It heals my mood a lot though and I am happy that I was in the generation, part almost the end of the generation. I am naughty and good at the same time. I need to balance myself the least though. Can't always be good all the time, it's boring and dull. Be naughty at the right time and that's what's more important, know your limit and boundaries. Make life the fullest but the most meaningful one as well cause we only live once in a life time. Prove that you can but at the right way and with a good heart! I want to make it till the end as a successful, earn as good and hopefully quicker than my dad though, on behalf of him. I can't believe know that I am in the position now. Life is so unexpected I would say, can never predict what happens next. I hope I could predict because there's much more that I could have fix though. I wish I can turn back time to fix things, that could have been better. Don't look back, move forward. It would be a fruitful life ahead. Believe it will be and it will be. Be wise and smart and passionate as well! 

I often blog my most during the day and bae has been always asking me to know more blog but I am really reluctant to do so because it's my personal space where I blog my feelings but for this post, as above, I managed to give a sneak peak of my post a little. I can't reveal too much about myself. Cause I am not sure where till the extent as of our relationship yet. I am trying my best to love away our age gap and the not ideal type as well. I go against everything and have done a lot to be at this point and I hope I have do it right and it will be a good experience. Thank you for being by my side when I need you. It has been quite a kinky relationship but I gotta admit I enjoyed it cause I like you bae! :) Feeling love and cared is so awesome though. =3 Love you bae! 

THANK YOU AND PLEASE BE STRONG TO STOP! STOP AND STOP! 

27 July 2017

G-Dragon's - Act III : MOTTE

G-Dragon's Act III : Mottle will be in town on September 17! I really wanna go for the concert this time! I missed the concert previously because I was in the UK but now I am in town! But the tickets are pretty pricey! Sacrifice or never, I really wanna go for this concert since they are going to the military soon! I am not gonna wait for another two years! I really hope that my friend would be able to get me some free VVIP tickets! Hope he's able to know some people that has some connection to the concert's organiser! Maybe I should just him to accept or take more KPOP projects as well! HAHA! So bad of me, but he's gonna organised quite a big event on the same month as well, rave party they call that? I never been to one but I would like to go for one, seems like fun though. I hope it's gonna happen for real though. Looking forward, it has been some time since I been to a concert though. Fingers crossed that I am able to go this time. The ticket launching is this weekend and I am not sure yet to go or not, doesn't seem to have companions to go with me. Everyone is tight on budget and me too actually. I will see how, sigh. Feeling emo and sad now. Hate the fact that I need to be so cautious with my spending lately, wait has been always though. Well, independent! 



It has been some time since I buy KPOP albums also. Ever since I went to South Korea, I felt that the albums imported here was really expensive. I never wanted to buy anymore. I used to have a collection and felt like selling some of them as well though. I still would like to collect Big Bang's album and G-Dragon's ! I like the fact of his new album, he released it in the form of pendrive though, that's creative and fans were mentioning that the colours comes of from the pendrive and as clarified it's on purpose. I expected, since it's from YG as they have one album from Big Bang that has the same concept as well. So I wasn't really surprise when I received this news though but this would actually save up a lot of space though and papers! I wanna get one when I am in South Korea for a holiday some day. No rush though. I am sure there's still in production though. He's definitely a really talented composer and I really admire that, he said it took him ages to be one, but I felt it's talent and he's style is close to mine, I love almost every master pieces of his! 




Last Monday I don't know why, I have this urge to tell him about my story though it wasn't really totally the full story but part of it. I thought I could almost get over it but it seems that I need more time since I still shed tears after telling the story, it's still a great impact on me. I need more time to slowly forget what the bad has happened. I shouldn't have mentioned the story cause it affected my mood the whole day actually. I am just trying to be happy and steady despite the mood wings and probably my PMS is coming next week as well, I am more prone to mood swings though, cravings for things that I don't usually eat at normal times. I don't want to talk about my story or about myself anymore. That would be the last time I would be doing it. I regret to bring my problem to someone else. I don't want to be so problematic! Please. I need to solve my bad habit myself as well though. There's so much to do for myself. I really need to be persistent and firm and strong too! Please STOP already for real this time. 

I CAN DO IT AND I WILL GET TO ATTEND AS WELL! 

26 July 2017

Good Decision.

As time goes by, I feel like I should have resigned earlier so that I can have a break though but because of financial wise, I hold back from it and now I need to work continuously. I am looking forward with my last day cause I had enough of this place. I was so eager to resign and now I made it. It's takes the courage to take the risk and try. I mentioned this often but I really hope that I have made the right decision. I hope my new place would be a promising place for me to excel and develop myself. It's gonna be quite an independent position, I heard. Fingers crossed. Lately, I have been following my ex-uni mate from UK, and watching his clips makes me miss UK so much. Regardless the changes has been made in the UK, I love the place a lot. The accent, the modern yet classical buildings, the environment. When I was there, I am always envious with Asians who were born and raised there. I love listening to Asians speaking with British Accent, natural one of course. I wish I will have the chance to settle down there one day. Marry a BBC? Is it possible to meet one someday? There's still hope, maybe he would appear in front of my one day. It's not easy for an Asian to work in the UK anymore, ever since BRIX. Sigh. Well, don't be down over it. It's gonna be good, it's gonna be well. Heads up man! Remember to make good out of every situation that happens? Good spirit leads to success! Don't be negative, be optimistic and positive yoh! Living in the UK is not gonna be an easy goal but I am not giving up on it. Wise decision but not rash decision please. Thanks to my DAD, I had a great experience living in the UK! I am feeling really grateful. 






Chasing the dreams is not easy but with the strong will and determination it's possible. Just that it's gonna take some time. Be grateful and fortunate with what I have now. Build your own your dreams and wish. Don't count and depend too much on others. Humans are one scary and fickle being, money changes them and this couldn't be good at the end. Be smart and wise, at the end you would be on your own, totally. Looking back with what happened in the past, probably the answer to it was that, it was time for my DAD. Lately I had the answer to this. Probably more definite I would say. He has health problems but did not really went to solve it though. As time goes by, the problems piled up and it got worse. I wasn't sure why it has to happen this way, but I accept it. It dragged on for almost two years for everything to end. At first we couldn't accept it, and was confused and scared but at the end, we managed to cope and handle it. It wasn't easy really. Now that I came across to it after everything that has happened. I wondered how did I coped with it, wait, how did we coped with it! It was really heartbreaking to see your loved ones had to supper this way before leaving. I wonder what's my dad past life cause they said it might have to do with the past life and some could have related with the present life as well. Speak the bad of others would be a great factor as well. So if you do not like about something or someone, you don't need to talk bad of the others. Keep it to yourself, don't need to bother. Karma is not a joke, more even not a joke with after what has happened. We went through and flow trying to find a solution. I think I can fully related with the conclusion and answer now. But why does it has to happen this way, I am not sure. Not many people would actually believe the story to mine, I was someone that's quite skeptic before this happened. But now I am doubt with my skeptic-ness. Cause there's no explanation towards this incident. I wanted to write a story, a novel pertaining to this. I guess I need to find some time to have a good chat with my mum about her story since it takes time to actually write a novel though. Who knows I could be a famous writer. 

This incident reminds me a lot to do more goods in life and speak more the goods as well. No one is perfect. People do bad things in life but the most important thing is that to realise that mistake and be willing to made a change. I could have admit that I don't really have a compassionate heart as much as my mum. I think people should have their limits on how compassionate they can be in every situation. For these days era, I think it's more wise to do so. I changed pretty much after the incident but I felt that it's not enough and there's more room for me for improvement. It's not easy to change in one gold but the least, I know my weak points and trying to change. Imagine the pain I have to go through from family, career and friend. This was a great change for me. I have more to do in my life. More to worry about and fight on! For the sake of my family. 






25 July 2017

Date with bae

Last Sunday was a day out with bae. He brought me for a blood donation. I was worried that he will be bored waiting for me though, I thought of just meeting him after the blood donation since he wanted to see the dentist together. Finally I am able to find some time to donate blood, feeling satisfied though. Waiting for next three months already! Fingers crossed that by now when I am blogging about this post I am already at a STOP, no more excuses, be strong and firm to STOP please. Health is more important than anything. Otherwise no point being success in my career or in love, so PLEASE STOP ALREADY! My final weak, no more breaking forward or whatever shit. We waited for some time to see the dentist, that's when you need to save up and see the government's dental clinic, happy to hear that my teeth is clean and I only need to go for scaling only once a year. Next appointment would be next mid-year! My tasks are done, except that I need to get one more stuff for my car though, wait two more stuffs, the USB connector and the handphone holder. I need to bring my car for a wash or I would just wash myself to save up though. I will see how the following week since I need to work this weekend. After the dentist, we actually went to the pet cafe again! OMG, I love the dogs there! They are so adorable and big and they are all my favourite dogs there! I am loving this place though. Too bad I do not have a picture, but more on videos. The next time I go there, I would like to take some picture for my blog though. I am gonna be there again since it's near to bae's place. That place is gonna be my new hang out spot. I used to hang out at places like Solaris Mont Kiara, Publika, Damansara Uptown, Ampang Korean Town, Bangsar Village and Sri Petaling. But recently, there's new addition to my hang out places which is Setapak & Genting Klang. Gonna open up for Kuchai Lama as well. Wonder where would be my next place. After the pet cafe, he actually sent me back home, had my dinner and yeah I failed at this point and I really  hope this is the last time I am gonna do it and stop giving myself excuses. I had enough of doing this, my health is getting bad and I am getting bold. I need to be firm, stand still and strong with my goals! I dropped my mum at her friend's place to pass something and that's not near though, so we dropped by at SS2 to have some dessert and guess what! The Nabe Bakery that was in Ampang has just moved to SS2! Finally manage to find our long lost bingsu place but it's pretty far though. The interior design is much better as well though. I forgotten to take some picture for my blog. I can't let bae know what I ate something icey but anyway I need to stop with the cold drinks and cool and fried food. No snacks and fried food lately but with the cold thing I really need to stop since I felt like my gastric is coming back lately. This is dangerous and really a bad sign though. Last is last, there's too many last and I need to put a STOP to this. 

I have been sleeping really late lately even during working days to finish my retrieving. I am trying my best to finish it before starting my new work. GRR! I need to work this weekend, I am debating if I should apply for leave this week to finish it though. Let's see how my workload is this week. I hate it when the payment is so slow here. Business is bad but still you need to settle your debts to have a good business! Do you know what's karma and morality ? Who wanna do good things for your or give you good offers with late payments ? Even I dare not ask on your behalf though. After last week's meeting, I am so glad that I resigned. I am happy that I have made the right decision, wished it could be sooner though. I have wasted much time at this company. Hopefully I am venturing into something better soon. I am looking forward. Lucks and charms please be with me till the end, count on you babes! I am trying to cut down on my coffees as well, no more after finishing the instant ones! I need to STOP my bad habits. Health Health! Please and please. I NEED TO ACHIEVE LOTS OF THINGS THOUGH. Right, I recently confessed to my mum that I am in a relationship, still she's against me going with this dude for some reason. I have already go against my own principle to be with him, it's the trying or to say the experience mode. We are still fresh and new, let's see how it goes as time goes by. I am curious myself as well. How long would we last and will be as intimate as our fresh start. I am really curious. I am not sure to look forward or not. Especially since I am moving on to a new place, this is a crucial moment to know though. Let's see! 

It's pretty a long post today without a picture, I guess once a while I will not be posting pictures though. Bae kept asking me to show my blog to him but I think till the end, I wouldn't do so since it's my only space to rant my thoughts and feelings that no one knows including my family. This is my only best friend and my only corner, that I wouldn't let the people I know knows, till the end. Writing a diary is good for someone who doesn't like to talk about their actual problems and feelings to others. I took down my web address from my social medias. Hopefully no one I know would visit though. Fingers crossed.

STOP AND STOP PLEASE! 

24 July 2017

Struggle but not giving up

I have a great struggle to put a STOP to my habit, by today I should be able to get over it, no wait I must get over it. I am counting down till before the end of this week. I need to STOP. I received even much worse symptoms lately and I am totally regretting it and need to STOP instantly. I regretted that I started it, I feel like confessing to more people to help me but I resisted. I need to handle it my self. 7 more days to go and I don't wanna spend on the professionals cause I am tight on budget myself as well. Be strong for the sake of not just health but also my career, this will determine how strong am I to stay healthy  for my health and be strong to achieve the goals of my career as well. This is really crucial. It's gonna be second month of the second half of 2017 and I am supposed to achieve it long ago. I am worried actually, really worried cause I can't drag this any longer, it's eating me up dangerously. I feel tensed and stressed at the same time. This is so crucial for me, that's why I blogged about it every time, the starting for it. I just need to STOP already. I need to be strong! 

I stayed on last Saturday and yes surprisingly as well. I started retrieve my songs once I woke up till the end of the day though. Cause I know I am gonna be out the whole day on Sunday. I hope I can finish retrieve by month end though this category and I think it's possible though the ending alphabets has more to go. Trying my best though, it's eating my time as well till almost a year but I have fun because I love music though. Two more categories to go  and I hope before the end of the year I am almost done. I also cleared the latest list of my drama as well though. So I am still updated with my dramas as well. 2018 would be a study month for me for both of my languages since I have yet to take my Chinese exam. It has been some time since I stopped. Also, the peak of my career as well. I have so much to do and achieve. I need to work on my health as well, the most important goal that I need to achieve. I need to start to work out as well. This is the golden age to keep my health healthy. Otherwise it's hard to do so. Let's see how it goes. I have done my blood donation and get my teeth checked supposingly, my yearly routine that I need to do. 

I feel like going to the cinemas but there's not nice movies to watch till next month though. I wanna watch horror movies. But there's no nice movies lately. The other time was just soso though. I heard that the good ones are coming for Halloween! Oh yeah, time passes really fast that it's coming. This is actually really scary though. In fact 2018 is actually approaching. This is crazy. Anyway I miss my South Korea trip though, passed by for some time. Apart from whom I went with, I enjoyed the trip. Because of this trip, I have matured a lot, opened up myself a lot as well. Instead of anger and hatred towards the person, I should be thankful because I have open up myself to lots of people, I have more friends now. I am more sociable now. I hope this is about to improve more as well. Life is interesting and fun, we only live once so be firm and positive of every situation that happens. It's up to me to determine the success of my life. I am me, the only me in this world. Be wise and smart! 




Last Friday, there's a dude who briefly read my Astrology and I find it quite accurate though. I find it interesting as well. He said that I am someone that keeps my feeling and try to carry the different feeling that I am having, I don't like to express my feeling cause I cared about what others think. He reads my character well. I became curious though but that's enough. He asked for my time of birth and that's not so convenient to reveal anymore though. He picked his friends according to Astrology and I find it sad though, reduced the circle instead. I have another friend who did so when I was in the UK. She does the same thing, in fact her whole family was in the field though. She reads me well as well but too bad, we did not really keep in touch lately. I hope to visit them soon in future as well. 

STOP STOP AND STOP YOU CAN DO IT! BE HEALTHY! 

23 July 2017

Heart Elsewhere

I am so eager to leave my current company, I have no mood and spirit to work anymore though. I wish to leave early in fact, to have a short break so I have been taking leaves this days. Felt like applying some this week as well till the last week of mine. GRRR! I have bought most stuffs for my car, left with the tinted will I have more income. I am currently searching for one last item which is the USB connector to my radio though. I need to settle this within this few days. Gonna change my wiper when service my car as well. More commitment not just, but more duties to do as well. PFFTT. When can I start my Grabcar thingie man? I guess I really need it right now though. Hmmm! My post has been long for some time though. I have not much to say for this week. I am going for my blood donation later today and to the dentist after that. I hope there wouldn't be that many people. I need to do my dental checking, the final one for the year! Yes, I do regularly dental checking cause I feel teeth is also an important presentation as well. I would like to have more teeth than fake tooth though. No more coffee as well. It's bad for health and teeth since I have gastric as well. 

I have been craving to do some tattoos for some time, but thank god the regular blood donation thing has stopped me though but I really like tattoos, I feel like getting a small one though. I wanna see how my budget runs and see what kind of nice and cool patterns around. I have to find a good place to do as well since the needle is dangerous, disease transmittable. I don't know where to put as well though to look nice since it's permanent. I feel the tattoos below are cool to have though. Hopefully I am able to do soon. I love tattoos! 






That's all for today. More the next few days I would have more to blog about though. Heads up. Feeling envious lately when I have friends that are in the Europe, not sure if it's for work or holiday but yeah it's good to be rich or have more income right? Sigh. 

22 July 2017

Yumcha with le friend

Yesterday was my off day and I had pretty much a good rest though. I woke up quite late since I slept late to finish of my retrieving, I really hope to finish this category before next weekend since I need to work. Gonna do it till late night again tonight. I am almost there. I am supposed to STOP, but I did it yesterday again. I am taking these nine days to totally breakthrough it. I need to make it and succeed this goal, please already! I can feel the pain already the symptoms are getting worse and I NEED TO STOP IT, OH PLEASE! I am staying in today to finish of my stuffs. Gonna be out tonight to change my coil probably since I am gonna be out tomorrow, also a date with bae. Gonna do blood donation and go to the dentist, hopefully it wouldn't be too many people though. I hate it when I need to wait and wait. I went for the meetup again yesterday like finally I am back with meetups and it was quite fun yesterday since there was a guy from Belgium joined. I don't understand why these people wanna settle down here. I wanna leave this place badly though! I guess it's only nice for people from overseas but for those who leave here, we wouldn't feel so. I had a good night. Rush to my next round to meet my friends at a place I have always wanted to go. It's nice but the drinks sucks though. Just the view and environment is nice. I can't find the place actually, I was quite lost though when I reached there cause the map showed me differently. 


Had a great chat with le friend. Got to know that my friend's boyfriend hit her. That's even bad enough to hear. Really hope that she could get over this kind of jerk. Not worth to even re-consider and think about anymore. As long as a guy laid his hand on a lady, the guy is done. No reason to consider at all anymore. I don't know what is love yet, probably but I can't accept this. I don't wanna go this stage of love. Love is blind and that's true. Don's say it too early that you won't. It's unpredictable and you wouldn't know. You wouldn't want to eat your own words one day though. We actually moved to another place to shisha though. I think I am gonna quite shisha after yesterday onwards. Since I don't smoke felt like it's a waste of money though. I was supposed to save not spend. What is this man. LESS OUTING PLEASE! I am running out of cash and this is bad! Please and please. 


NINE DAYS TO PUT A STOP AND I CAN MAKE IT PLEASE! 

21 July 2017

Two More Weeks.

I am restraining this problem at every beginning of the post. By today, by now, I should be at a totally STOPPED. I think I am able to finish the whole male group category by this month, just that I would need to sleep late every night. I estimated myself to finish the whole hard disk thing by October the latest though. I used almost a year to finish save my disk and that's sad but the happy thing is that I add on more songs, basically almost the whole albums, singles, OSTs or collaborations. Hopefully there's more space since I don't do for female categories unless they are my ultimate favourite. I finished my line up of dramas and currently on new ones, some of them has ended, even. I didn't realised till they wrote there FINALE, you could imagine how boring is the drama that I didn't realised it was the ending. I basically skipped the boring parts, which means I basically skipped most of the episodes. There's no more good dramas like it used to and I wish there's more good dramas coming up instead. I am catching Korean dramas is for the sake of catching them, same goes to Chinese and Japanese dramas. I feel like watching English dramas during the day as well. I don't have time for English dramas since I am always trying to retrieve my songs as soon as I reached home. Weekends I am always out but I am trying to stay in as much as possible since I am right in budget till next month. GRRRR! I hate when this happens, thanks to my new car but I hope this pays off since I am gonna do Grabcar soon. Since I am a lady, I would need to be really careful while doing this part time job though. Can I be a man instead? A  good looking man instead. PFFTTT. 

I wanna declare my love for dogs, all breeds except Chi Hwa Hwa~ I would pick over a dog than a dude! Cause dogs are much loyal than a human and they are adorable and loved! I have a dream to open a shelter for abandoned dogs. I wonder why there's still no wealthy people who do so though. If I have lots of money I have lots of things to do and wish to do. Maybe because the wealthy people is still busy earning more money though they are already rich. Sigh, so envious. Hopefully my turn is coming soon. Aside from this, I wanna travel around the world too. I love to travel and I bet most of us do as well. Too bad the local currency is really bad lately. I really dislike earning the incomes here. Wanna settle down in overseas still! My baby is getting older as time goes by, but he still so loveable and adorable! I will be very very sad when he gets old and leave the world. I can't live without a dog companion! I wanna get a corgi some day too, of my own! I need to be devoted too ! 







Two more weeks and I am leaving the company, using some of my leaves to give myself a break since the boss does not want to let me go early. This is the only way I could think of though. I have not much leaves for my new job, a day lesser in fact. I am gonna save it till end of the year since I am not able to bring forward the leaves. I wonder if I would need to travel around though. All I know the travel to and flow to my new workplace it gonna be a hell of jam. I would guess the reach time to my home would be the same as my current but I would need to get up a little earlier to be on time. I hope all these sacrifice would be a worthwhile! I will treasure and appreciate this opportunity and moment! I am thinking of something that I can do while in the car though, like study my Chinese during the jams, it's not safe but I would need to see how it goes though. GRRR! So much to think and plan about, give me more time please? Please STOP the time for one moment! I am so concentrated with my retrieving that I spent less time with le family lately, less talk less drama less argument. My sister is busy with her assignment and exams as well. So yeah, less hectic and long faces during this period since there's less interactions. My mum almost do not admit that she favours the youngest more, it's obvious. She bought the car for them to commute but he treated the car as if it's his car, trying to modify here and there. That's the reason why I limit my commitment at home, where does all these money goes too? I am worried. I am so tight financially these days, I can't afford to waste my money on these kind of shits. That's enough. I have already give up, the talks when I only need it, I have got no choice. Sad to say, but I think I have made the right decision though it's not so good to hear. I don't like arguments, I rather not talk or look at all, that's me. I have been carrying different me around, to adapt with surroundings. This is the social network and life these day. I need to learn well, smart and wise. Take the goods, learn from the bad and don't give up! Be strong in will and determination! Visual the success on the top at the end of the road and it will be, be a fruitful person in mind and soul! 

GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS. 


20 July 2017

Don't compare they said.

As soon as it is, I am starting with my new job soon. Mix feeling about it and I am looking forward with this nervous and anxious feeling as well. I hate the fact that I think a lot personally. I have lots of things to think about, I should actually used this over-think thing to do some thing creative. I am moving on to a better place but is it the better place to my career? It's not easy to do something that you like, some people probably found it as soon but for some people it takes time. I hope that I am climbing on the right ladder and path. I feel bad on still counting on my mother despite she's not working fully though. I can't believe I am the only one on the force now, soon I am gonna be the bread winner. I wish I could be at the soonest to support my mum. I just feel so bad that I am still depending on her. Don't always mention about it, I feel really stressed about earning the extra miles. My dad did not had an easy road to where he is, he withstand and went through a lot to be where he is, if he managed his funds and financials well, he could be someone now. Guys will never listen, probably that's true when it comes to financial wise? They have their ego and pride but I feel there's need to be balance to it. I dare not go out with mum for dinner or out for dinner, I feel bad that she comes out every time and barely it's me. I just wanna avoid that. I am getting older and I feel that I have not been contributing much at all but just myself. I wanna earn more. I hope more is coming. The path to a successful career is here. I am ready to take this journey. Who said only males need to earn extra income? These days females need to as well. The world is different, I prefer to count on my own then on someone, you don't need to entertain any one. While blogging about this post, while listening to music, I really feel like playing the piano though. I really love musics, plays a great role in my mood most of the time. I really wanna learn how to compose one day. It's gonna be a beautiful day, beautiful life, beautiful future ahead. 


'감성 음원 깡패' 크러쉬(Crush)가 '도깨비' OST에 합류하며 '도깨비' OST 신드롬을 이어간다.

크러쉬가 참여한 '뷰티풀(Beautiful)'은 차분하게 흘러가는 피아노 라인 위에 얹혀진 희망적이면서도 슬픈 느낌이 공존하는 멜로디가 인상적인 곡으로, 크러쉬의 감성적인 보컬이 곡의 분위기와 잘 어우러지며 묘한 감정을 느끼게 한다. 

또한, 헤어진 연인과의 아름다운 추억을 떠올리며 다시 돌아오길 바라는 가사가 곡의 아련함을 극대화하고 있다. 'Beautiful'은 드라마 1회부터 매 회 빠지지 않고 삽입되며 극의 서정적인 분위기를 잘 살려주었을 뿐만 아니라, 시청자들의 OST 출시 문의가 가장 컸던 곡이다. 

특히, 3회의 명장면으로 꼽히는 김신(공유 분)이 지은탁(김고은 분)에게 우산을 씌우며 작별인사를 건네던 바닷가씬에 배경음악으로 흘러 나와 추가 문의가 빗발친 바 있다.

지금까지 출시된 '도깨비' OST Part 1~3의 3곡 모두 발매 후 각종 음악 차트의 1위 및 상위권을 기록하며 우수한 음원 성적을 거두었던 데다가, 이번 OST Part 4에는 자타공인 음원 강자 크러쉬가 참여하는 만큼 OST 흥행을 이어나갈 것으로 기대를 모은다.


I think a lot about this drama lately. I don't know why. I love the storyline and how the story go about. I wish there's more drama like this. For me, it's the best drama that I have ever watched. I am a big fan, still. I really feel like watching this drama again. I need to make my time the way through, strong and positive. I am at the STOP point at this point and almost done with my retrieving soon. I can cope and adapt well with my work, climbing up the ladder higher and higher! I need to achieve more than half of my resolution this year, 2017! Cause 2018 is gonna be a much more better year ahead! Fighting! 





I have been listening to a lot of old songs as well. I don't know why, I am feeling old lately, age is catching up. Mature is the real me, immature is only when I am with him. I like the love and care. :) It has been some time since I had this love thing. I can't always carry the long face in front of him, it would be tiring, that's why I should blog more my feelings since I have no one to really talk about my feelings. I have to be really careful. I know there are some things I can't keep too long so I found a better way and told him. At least, that cleared off my frustration. No more revealings. Just remember STOP doing it PLEASE ALREADY! I am supposed to stop long time ago but what is this?! It's already the second half of 2017! The retrieving as well, rushing as fast as I could. Two more weeks to my new work. Feeling tensed! :D

I need to balance my time well these days. I have more commitments and tasks to do from now onwards. I need to manage my funds well as well since I am not earning as much as others. Hopefully I am able to do some part time property before year end, after I have settled down with my new company. It's gonna be a busy life for me soon. It's a good thing. 

STOP STOP AND STOP! 

STRONG AND STRONGER

19 July 2017

Don't Break the Promise anymore.

Please don't break the promise anymore, July is coming to an end and please STOP doing it already. It's really bad, please and please. I need to solve it at the soonest and I don't want to see the professionals. I am financially tight currently. I am feeling really tensed almost every time before I go back because I am struggling with my habit. I am gonna do it once and for all. Be strong! You can do it. By today by today! In fact, should be by long time ago though. I am gonna type this everyday to remind myself how bad it is. I have already started my new shampoos and facial use as promised. Left with supplements which I hope I can start by next month along with work out and new healthy diet plan! Delayed for half an hour, new half it is and I seriously need to start immediately. No more delays man! I wasted my time doing it, when I can finish my retrieve, now it's gonna be late nights for me to finish at least the boy group category before I start my new work. I spent a lot on it as well. I am tensed and stressed with it for god sake. I need to be strong! I NEED TOO! Reminding myself every second, every single second. It's gonna be the same ending if I don't stop from now onwards. I was warned and signalled so. I am aware but I ignore it, health is hard to restore so please and please! Bear this in mind!

Lately I have been giving a lot of thoughts about my future. I need to resolve this problem to move in peacefully healthy. I have always dream to move on my life in a Western country like UK especially, some Europe countries, The America, just some where more Westernise. I don't like my own country, other developed countries are just places I wanna visit. I am always envious with Asians born and breed in these countries cause I wished my parents has done so. I would always daydream and think a lot every time when I listened to my favourite English song or watched my favourite English movie. How wish I can live a life in a Western country. How does it feel? If I am financially strong, I would have migrated somewhere else and live in a life I want. At least, I have a goal. I am working towards this goal. I am not sure if I am able to achieve it but at least, I have something to work hard and smart for, driven myself towards it. First of all fix the bad habit by now or it's too late. The kinda place I wanna live in, before turning 35! Dreams on. It's not gonna be an easy road towards these! Bring it on babeh! 




It's not easy to find time for myself to play the piano lately though I finish the grades. I think I need to start practice too as well. I wanna resume my composing though. It has been some time. I wanna sort out my sheets too, it's a messed and I think my old piano needs some tuning and improvement as well. There's so much to do but wait till I settled down with my new work. I want to have a corner at my home to have this. It would be so beautiful! Thinking and reminiscence a lot about Goblin drama lately. Feel so related to it, wish I would have this kind of life. Should I watch again the drama? I love grand pianos, wish I could have one at my home, but there's not enough space to put though. Future home, future home! That would be a big one though. 



Time is ticking, I have wasted enough and I should STOP instantly now. I don't want it to be too late. So please STOP already. I have so much to achieve and do with my life and I need more time actually. I am worried with my new work but I am trying to keep myself positive, as much as possible. I will do well and excel in a niche of time. Be good and be wise! 

FIGHTING! 

18 July 2017

Be serious, STOP.

I have always said this, by today I would at a totally STOPPED. It's not an easy thing but I really need to STOP like seriously. I am rushing my retrieving till late night as well. I know it's not healthy but as soon as I start my new job, I will go to bed early and only sleep late during the weekend. According to the recruitment company, my working hours is actually quite short and I hope it does. I am quite scared and nervous but I need to make sure myself to learn and adapt fast. I wanna excel within a year.  I wanna prove that I am beyond expectation. I am really right on budget this month till early next month but there's so many birthdays are coming and I really hope that my salary will not be delayed. :( I need to save not spending anymore. The car is gave me a pain in the ass. There's a big hole in my pocket now. I hope I can earn all these back soon! Time to suffer, time to fight the battle to succeed! Who said that there's a smooth road to success?! Sigh, I have fever off and on lately. This is really a bad sign. I regretted that I started it, really do. I wanna break through till end of the month, I can't start so many things at once. Working out once a while will do I guess. I am too eager and to rush though, that's because I think I do not have much time. I have so many tasks to do that I do not have much time, I can't waste any single second of my life. Life is really precious. We only live once and we need to live life to the fullest. Appreciate and take the challenge, get yourself out of the box and mingle! Get to know the world and people! :) Eager to earn more income now, as I grown up. There's the right time to be mature and childish at times. The timing is really important though. 

I am starting to go for meetups lately to know more people despite my busy schedules. I don't wanna just keep myself indoors only. I missed out a lot of meetups lately and my circle has been getting smaller. I wanna know more people and widen my social networking which I think it's important though. I just need to arrange my time well wether it's about my tasks, social or with dates. I have lots of appointment this weekend and would only arrange them if they come back to me. Some is just to entertain them though. The more I go out, the more I need to spend. I need to save up for birthday dinners or gifts! Unless, the opposite party would actually spend me though. I have been very updated with latest movies lately. There's no more upcoming movies that I would like to watch anymore, not till August probably. Movies lately are just not entertaining anymore, guess humans are lack of idea as time goes by. I love horror movies, but lately there's none that impressed me. I have already widen my choice to non-horror movies and it's even worse for some. I watch a Hong Kong zombie movie and I totally regretted it, the worst decision that I have ever made and now I remember the reason why I did not like to watch Chinese movies in the cinema! Waste of money and time! I hate this! I will never ever watch Asian movies in the cinema again, the tickets are not cheap okay, seatings are not that comfortable as well. Home for movies is still the best though. Wish I have a home of my own. My another next target! Need to work hard for my career and health now! 

I used to be a really KPOP freak but as I got older, that actually slowly die off. I am only still a fan of idols of my generation though. I like groups that are unique and that's not to famous. In fact, I feel their songs are much nicer though compared to the famous ones. Honestly, the KPOP songs lately, especially idol groups are not really good lately. I prefer the old songs though. I wonder how they actually earned their incomes despite the competition though. I really wish to learn to write and produce musics one day as my hobby! Musics are just awesome though. I missed Goblin already. I miss their scenes, their musics and their quotes. This drama is just meaningful. There's one phrase that I really liked from Lee Dong Wook's role, sounds even more astonish :-

“The kiss of the Grim Reaper brings back memories of your past life. I fear what I was in your previous life. But I wish you’re left only with good memories. I hope that a part of them are memories of your older brother and I hope that he is Kim Shin”— Grim Reaper/Wang Yeo

"Every life is touched by a deity at least once. Just when you are drifting away from the world, if someone nudges you back in the right direction, that'd be when the deity chooses to visit you." — Kim Shin

I feel like I wanna re-watch the drama though. But I do not have time to even watch it. I have been sleeping lately and I think it's not that good. I can't sleep well lately though, ever since I got my bed frame away. If this continues for the rest of the week, I would need to figure out a solution to solve it. I am gonna be dead tired if this happens everyday. I wanna sleep well, really! :( 

Resolutions, Goals and Tasks! 

17 July 2017

Seremban Trip

Went to Seremban trip with bae last weekend. Felt like we get closer in a short period of time though. I only managed to sleep like 4 hours before the trip, trying to finish off my retrieving and do my last minute packing. Bae woke up late though so we did not managed to get the fish head noodle that I wanted to bring him to. Right away headed to Seremban for lunch. I wanted to have the Yong Tao Foo there, but I guess it was too good that they sold out by the time we reached there so I only had toast bread but it was quite good though. Just that the coffee is horrible though. It wasn't as packed as we thought though. The packing wasn't hard to find as well. We wanted to have some cendol after the lunch but the place we wanted to go was closed! So we went to another place to have it but it was seriously horrible and not reasonable though. GRR! Went all the way there to have it but disappointment is all we have! It's durian but the taste wasn't that good! After this cendol, we wanted to go to the Centipede Temple but it was a hassle when we reached there so we just passed by and left to check in our hotel. The hotel was quite old and soso, the toilet is not so clean though but what can we expect from a two star hotel though. 


After some rest, we took off to Port Dickson, since it's just nearby, probably half an hour drive? The beach view was really beautiful. I took some video, not sure how to put it here though. Walked by a while, the weather was good. The environment was good as well, with family picnic around. I just love the beach. Should have brought my sandals so I can actually walk by the beach though. Damn it. Regretted it that I did not bring one! We took off from the beach to have our dinner at some famous so called lucky bun curry though. It wasn't special to us though, the taste was just soso but it was too big for two person to finish it! The potatoes and chickens are too big, they should have cut it a little small though. Can't even take away since it's curry and there's no fridge for us to keep. The picture does look good right ? I wouldn't recommend if you're on two person only. Better to be 3-4 person! 


We had some time so we actually dropped by at their so called biggest ball but apparently really small for us though since KL malls are bigger. I actually manage to watch the movie I wanted too but just soso, Wish Upon ! Apparently there's my favourite actor though! Lee Kihong! =3 I think there's gonna be part two though. The story wasn't really good at all man. Disappointed, quite enough. The movie tickets are quite cheap though. I wish KL movie tickets are that cheap for a new movie though. Sigh. 



We were tired so after the movie we actually went back. The city is dead during the night, there's no night life there. There's not many youngsters at  Seremban though. There's not many bars like KL. Had our shower, rest a while. We slept quite early though but the bed weren't that comfortable so we did not had a good sleep. It was really noisy outside as well. I wouldn't come here again or choose a two star hotel anymore though. That's why I like airbnb, but there's not many there though. The next day, we went to their big morning market for lunch. The food I called was soso as well in fact the rest too. The drink again is horrible. Coffee there is seriously horrible though. Too thin and no taste at all! Even the curry I wanted to try was just so so, I can get better ones in KL as well. I wouldn't travel there anymore, like seriously, though it's near! 


That's the end of our journey, it was a short drive back to KL though. Traffic weren't that bad, and yesterday was the official real final day of my bad habit. I rushed my retrieving as soon as I touched down. I stayed in and lazy to hang out though. Last Friday night was a good catch up with my old friends though. Had a good laugh and problem talk, realised that time has passed and we are all grown adults now. Time is scary though, wouldn't wait  for you and just passed. I missed though days though. Sigh. What a life! It's back to reality to Monday Blues and 3 more weeks till I start my new work. Looking forward and fingers crossed! =3

STOP STOP AND FINISH!