28 February 2017

Made It but risky, Time to STOP and START! 2017!

I made it yesterday, I manage to stop it when I intake something but this is not a good sign. I would gain weight easily. I need to control at the same time though I don't do it anymore. I don't want to have another old problem popping out. Moreover I can't overtake myself anymore, the pains get worse. Anyway, I shouldn't though I stopped. This would ruined my one year effort and result so let's make yesterday the last day of my feast. I am cutting down to liquids this week totally because I wanna heal the pain and reduce my appetite. I need to fix this now, this is so stress ! I am trying my best, not to drink to much the tea as well, solving all this by this week hopefully. I am worried that the pain is still there for some time, I need to watch what I eat, I always lecture the others but I am not doing well myself in watching what I eat as well. Please don't say the others now, cause I haven't cut down my intakes yesterday which I should now onwards since the pain is still there. I gained some in just a day and I need to loose it back, I am going back to my old old method and hoping to reduce my intake by this week. Fingers crossed. I am worried about my health now really, I felt I destroyed it. I managed to cut down on ice cream, cold drinks, alcohol and coffee. But because of the trip, I resumed a little but next week onwards I am gonna totally cut down on it as well along with snacks and fried food. No more heavy meals till the pain totally gone, in another way, killing two birds with one stone! FIGHTING! I must remember that I am stopping the bad habit permanently and I am trying back my old method to reduce it. I can't overdo it anymore. Please bear in mind! PLEASE! Time to have healthy diet and work out plan, after I solved the pain first. I regret the over intake yesterday cause during the night, I felt the pain. I should remember it in my mind not to over do it anymore! PLEASE PLEASE and PLEASE!

March is tomorrow onwards, time to work on resolutions. I need to finish up my resume and see what's out in the market. I don't wanna get stuck. I was lazy yesterday as well was supposed to finish up clearing my computer but I did not. The post effect of after trip. No more procrastination. Time to be serious. I wanna officially STOP it and fix my appetite now. It's gonna be hard but I need to make sure to fight against myself. This mission will defy my determination and will in succeeding in my career and for myself. If I can't pass through this mission, I can't pass through the obstacles in my career, I need to win against myself first! A week break through. A week. No more breaks and fighting 24 hours towards my dream. Make every second of my life worth, can't waste it. Time is ticking. I am at the age to succeed in my career and be healthy at the same time too. Hopefully by this weekend the pain will gone and I can start my work out next week accordingly. I don't want it to be too late. I don't want to regret it. 

I hope by mid-month I can finish clearing my songs. Also, to restudy my KPOP again probably. It has been some time. Of course, the faster the better. I will try my best though. Plans are all ready, just up to me to work things out. To be a successful person, my will and determination needs to be strong. Regardless with any tip that's coming through, I need to carry on the plan as usual as well. No more excuses. Do it now, or regret it in future. I don't want to have the same ending. I don't want that to happen. 


27 February 2017

STOP already. This is getting SERIOUS

It was a tiring day once I got back yesterday but I didn't want to go out during the night on weekdays so I decided to call out my friend to meet though I am tired and we had so many topics and opinions in common. I didn't know he had the same thought as well so I guess I was right though. I am not the only one who thinks so, there's someone who thinks the same thing as me as well, I am not alone the least. Okay, I made a promise that I wouldn't do it anymore. I will keep it and I need to not to bring it to March onwards. A day more till February ends and time to get things started. Holiday ended and time to be really serious with my career and health. I am targeting to achieve this two goals for this year. I am going liquid fully this week to try to heal or reduce the pain. Hopefully it's nothing since I am gonna stop doing it already. Hopefully my insurance gonna be done by this week. I need to go to the dentist this weekend and try to see the government doctor as well to refer me to the government hospital for a heart checkup. Fingers crossed that it would be nothing and it wouldn't be expensive as well. I am scared already. I regret that I started it and find it hard to stop and I am gonna do it once and for all, STOP IT! I need to save money not spending money on things that is unnecessary if I take care of my HEALTH! I need to work out as well after this week, after my condition got better, can't restrain myself for now. I don't think I can even donate blood till I got better too! SAD! I caused this myself! So much to do starting today onwards! ROCK ON THE RESOLUTIONS YOH!

I have got no mood for work, in fact everyone asked me to leave and look for a better career development, my dateline is up and I am currently working on it. Few more parts and I am done though. I will get it done this week and send out this week as well after my browsing is done. Also, I need to finish sorting out my files in my comp as well, to check out the unrecovered or wrongly recovered files. So hectic, that's why I wanna stay in during weekdays to do my stuffs! Only weekends out cause I don't wanna spend so much anymore. Felt like I spend a lot from beginning of the year till February and it's time to save up now. I need some part time work. Need to browse through after I am done with my current one. Be serious Jerica and do it don't just say it, ACTIONS and positive! GO AWAY NEGATIVES!

I managed to browse through some good pictures of my favourite actor! LEE DONG WOOK. He's so good looking off screen from dramas as well! He's definitely my type though! AWWWW I am in love =3 


26 February 2017

Penang Trip ! :D

The three days and 2 nights trip with family in Penang was quite nice though aside from the disappointing food! Maybe we just got to the wrong place to eat. I visited those places that was introduced by the food bloggers though! During the second day I was quite phobia with eating in Penang cause the places we went to eat was just soso or not nice at all. What happened to Penang? Anyway, during the first day we went to temples mostly. The designs are nice though. I quite like the temples there but it was really hot during the first day and last day! Probably the day was too hot that my car air-cond had some problem, there's some sounds though the air-cond temperature worst just fine. We were late for our check in though. Thank god, there's Uber in Penang so I check in first than my family. They brought the car for a check though. Lucky it's not a big problem though. So we actually stayed in for dinner after packed some food at some street. It was a tiring day since I slept for only an hour a day before. I manage to eat the ice cream that I always wanted too as well! Feeling accomplished and satisfied! 

This is our first meal of the day though. It was quite okay but not impressive. As usual I thought good in Penang was supposed to be nicer than KL. Sadly, it wasn't really that delicious though. The standard has dropped I guess? 

Some Burma temple that we visited though, mum mentioned this place that was not in my list but the place is nice and peaceful though. It's just opposite the place I wanted to visit so yeah. Convenient. 

This place is really nice, Khoo Khong Si but of course there's entrance fees for it which I did not know though but worth it. Maybe cause I love art so yeah, this architecture was good, detailed and unique I would say. 

This ice cream has always appeared in my newsfeed and finally I get to try the flavours! It was good, worth searching for this place. The flavours matched well. I went to Queensbay mall wanting to try their GreenTea-Expresso but apparently the season is over, I thought it was till this weekend though. Too bad, I was too late but at least I am satisfied that I have tried these. 

The second day was shopping day since there's not much place for us to visit anymore. Penang is actually not that big though and the road structure and condition is really bad even the building designs along with the parking. I don't I would ever really want to return to Penang for a holiday anymore though. I explored almost all about Penang and there's nothing great anymore. I want to go to another place for our next trip! Starbucks and Coffee Bean were just around us so it was quite easy for us to get around for a drink, just walking distance. :) 

On our last day we actually went off early that expected since there's not much to do anymore. So we dropped by Ipoh to get some stuff and had some tau fu fa. Mum said this is really  good and indeed they are. Satisfied with this searched though. The whole trip was all about eating, not my kind of trip though. It's hard to satisfy us. =P

Before heading home, we had our dinner at Omaya and it was overrated. Wasn't nice to us though but I  don't understand why people would book the place to eat this! It was just soso! Disappointed meal again. Never would I ever come back to this place to eat though, I wouldn't recommend though. Unless you're not picky with good than yeah, go head. :D 

I drove the whole journey to and flow Penang. We actually visited our cousin and grandma in Alor Setar though. The place gotten so much better now! In totaly, I drove for more than 10 hours ! I am feeling exhausted now actually but gonna meet a friend later instead of tomorrow cause I feel like resting. It's the end of the trip, time to stop for real and I need to rearrange my diet plan again later. No more doing it please. NO MORE PLEASE! 

24 February 2017

Penang Trip - Day 1 / DEAN

Alright, today would be my Penang trip with the family! Finally get to go for a trip. Supposed to start my journey in a few hours more and I am still here updating my blog! This is no good, I should be sleeping right now since I am gonna drive for a very long journey though! I hope I have some time to update my blog during the weekend though! I am gonna blog more pictures though! I hope to take more pictures as well and update as much as I could! My bucket lists, one ticked! I explored Penang and Melaka pretty much though. I wanna go Langkawi next and I hope to be able to go with the oppas in a few months time. Fingers crossed cause some of them gonna leave soon. Just one last wish before he leaves, a holiday with just four of us, never really enjoyed a trip overnight among us before and I hope this dream would come true. Fulfilled. :) With loved. Felt like it has been some time since I seen them. Kinda miss them though. I am grateful that oppa thought of me when he was in Korea and got me a gift. I am really thankful. I love you oppa! Your the best brother I had! That's why we are friends! I wish I could type in Korean though but I do not remember my Korean keyboard! I am gonna master my Korean soon. 

Anyway, I managed to leave a little early from work with boss approval though. He's nice to ask me not to replace with lunch and just leave. Thank you though. My writing is almost done and left with one part I am ready to deposit it. Probably within next week as well. I am almost done recovering my files as well left with some sort outs which gonna take some time since some files cannot be read and some was recovered wrongly and I gonna need to research some songs, at least I don't need to go over all of it again. Just need to patch up here and there. Probably these would take the whole month of March though am supposed to start studying my Chinese home for my exam but end up with the computer the whole night. The least I am studying Chinese during lunch time though. I want to do it during the day but can't now and during my public transport rides I am reading my Korean book :) At least, I am keeping my Korean pace. I hope during my ride back I wouldn't sleep but reading though. I should take the bus back often instead of taxi next week onwards, so I can read more and exercise as well since I need to by next week. This would make use most of my time usefully. I need to sleep early as well and stop totally the bad habit I am doing. I was doing quite well but Penang was my excuse. I hope it done stop me for good after the trip. I have said this many times and I am gonna remind myself second by second till I totally stop. New month coming soon and it's official that I can't bring it forward. I had enough of fun during February and procrastination. Time to be serious and I am in the mid way. I gonna make a lot of decision though as time goes by. What I should do and which is the right thing to do. 

I wanted to take the free HPV injection but apparently it's out of stock. But it's just the third month of the year! They don't even know when the stock reaches! What nuisance is this? Oh right, this is Malaysia and I should have expect so. Gosh I realise I write more during night compared to day though. Maybe I should just blog at night during weekend since I am allowed to sleep a little late? Nah, should not. Healthy lifestyle remember? There's so much to do next weekend, I need to go to the dentist to scale my teeth first. I wanted to do since last week but the process of the dentist clinic near my office is slow now, I went there twice and did not get to do since I wanted for almost an hour a half but it's not up to my turn yet, skipped me. Maybe because I am doing scaling and they don't wanna do me first. Wasted my money though it's just RM2. I will just go to UTC Pudu to do it since they are opened till late. At the mean time, I can go to the public clinic to check on my health and hope to get the doctor to refer me to the government hospital for a heart check though. I hope to do blood donation after all the results though. I have delayed it for some time already. Felt uneasy if I don't do it, felt like it's a must do thing to me now. 

Lately I am into a singer though, DEAN? He's quite cute and his songs are quite good though. I like his style and he's cute. I wonder his songs are composed by him? He's pretty young too and I should say I am getting old, I am feeling it though, sadly. Age is catching up so fast! I wanna be young forever! 

23 February 2017

Succeed and continue to be!

It was a success last two days and I hope it will continue to be till today! I need to make sure it is's a success since I think I might do it this weekend, worried though. I just need to pass through these three days and these three days will determine the will and determination if mine to success whether it's in my health lifestyle and career! So do it properly! I am starting to count my calories intake lately, for my BMI now, I should the least take 1000 calories to 1254 to loose weight and to maintain it would be 1568 since I only have slight activity, more activity soon though! Lots of fruits lately and few vegetables, should add more green though, just carrots and tomatoes are not enough. Maybe after 2-3 weeks I will change my diet again.

I have been eating lots of these fruits lately, but as said, too much of something is not so good so I am gonna change my diet 2-3 weeks regularly. Probably till April I will eat normally. Just wanna fix my diet and get used to it to stop my BAD habit completely. Felt like it's like an addiction, it's a bad one and I vowed to stop and I need to do it, cause it's important to determine my future. I can't totally stop it, at least I am trying my best, wait I need to cause I delayed too long. I regret for starting it but I am not gonna give up to stop it now. My bad, I caused this and I need to bear with the consequences now. I will do well, reminding myself everyday! Every second that I need to stop doing it. It will work, my will and determination is strong and needs to be stronger for me to survive! 

My friend is going for a travel to South Korea and I am so envious, guess he's doing really well though with his work now. I wanna do well in my career as well. I really hope it's coming, I really would like to meet the person before making big changes. By March, there's so many decisions that I need to do for my future, so  I need to meet him at the soonest! I am so furious now. So tension and a little stress. Be positive and good! My emotions are getting better lately. I managed to sort well I think. Maybe hanging out with them so often gave me stress. But I just don't wanna missed out the times with them that's it since they would leave eventually, there wouldn't be much time left. It's gonna be three weeks since we last met and felt like I am the only one that's in concern. The oldest one never contacted me to keep in touch with me before aside from others, not even once. I don't know what's the reason, maybe cause of his current girlfriend I presume, sad. :( But the least, he gives me good advices whenever I need them and I am thankful for that. I am just too over concern. 

Tomorrow is my Penang trip and I am so excited already! This trip would finalised my visit in Penang since I have been to most of the places. Melaka as well. Maybe Ipoh next? Langkawi ? The beaches and then to Sabah? There's actually quite a few places to explore in Malaysia though. Since I can't travel overseas, local would do me good or maybe I should save up for overseas? Oh I don't know. I checked out the flight prices and they are so expensive! I don't know how my friends can travel so much! I guess it's either their family are rich, boyfriend rich or they earn a lot of money! No worries, mine is coming soon! Watch me! You will be envious of me instead in future! I am gonna fight this battle. Remember, it's action year though! There's so much to accomplish within this year! I am on my way to success yoh! 

Dramas have been boring lately. I miss Globin already. The line ups are back to the boring one again. There's none that's my type anymore from China, Taiwan, Japanese to Korean. Occasionally I would watch Hong Kong dramas on TV, when I am in the living room with le family. Still not that bad, the stories the rest are more realistic and not so idol-drama kind. So TVB is still okay, just the actors are getting older and the new actresses actings are terrible, since their old actresses have left and moved on in China. That't sad though. There's lacking of good actresses these days! Still. there's some that's my favourite but I don't know their names though. I am bad at remembering names unless I looked at it multiple times. 

22 February 2017

So Close but did not make it. I need TO!

I was so close yesterday of succeeding it but I did not make it at the end, I shouldn't have started this bad habit and now it's so hard to stop! I am totally regretting it since it's affecting me badly, physically and mentally. Regardless with all these excuses, I still need to make it happen day by day, reminding myself second by second, I need to stop immediately. Don't drag anymore. It's dangerous! Oh please Jerica!

I went to the dentist again yesterday morning and ditch the dentist again cause I need to work and their service is getting slower and slower though. They used to be fast or maybe because I am doing scaling, they took some time to reach me. I went there twice and I ditch the place twice, without getting my RM2 refund. It's just RM2 so I didn't bother but I guess I would to to the one that opens on weekend on the following weekend since this weekend I will be outstation. I actually wanted to use my leaves to go to the dentist, but since I am going for a good hunt this weekend, it will make no difference after cleaning it so yeah, might as well after I come back from my trip. Sounds more legit though. I  don't think I am able to visit that clinic anymore with the slow service now. I think I wouldn't touch my weekday study and normal schedule anymore. Would do most things on weekends now since I don't put any books schedule on weekend. Outings on weekends only as well. That's the usual thing lately. So next month onwards, this would carry on. Lot's of things though. I am in the midst of preparing lots of things for March! I am working on my bad habit, I need to fix it before next week. I need to. Small portions are good enough, don't worry too much, don't over do it anymore! 

After this weekend, it's gonna be a busy weekend again. I arranged a meet up finally for the group next Friday. I need to go to the dentist in the morning, early in the morning. Since it's the government's, I will assume that I would need to wait and wait. So after that, I would do some test on my blood and some ECG test. Hopefully by then my new policy has enforced. If there's some time I would wanna do some blood donation. Everything is in order and at the right time. Otherwise, I would just donate on Sunday though. Fingers crossed by then I am already stopping it. Wait, I need to, regardless. This is so crucial for me to start already!  I actually thought of applying leave on this Thursday but I think I can't waste it. I need it for March though I would like to apply badly. 

The trip is ready, accommodation and places ticked and done! I think definitely I would be the driver for the trip cause I can't trust anyone else's driving skills at home. I am actually quite excited for the trip though cause it has been some time since I go for a trip with le family. I think it would be good, since it would e food hunting and some places to visit. I realised there's actually not many place to visit in Penang though. I have been to most places that I wanted to go. It's just temples mostly there and museums. My next destination badly would be Langkawi! I wanted to go there for a very long time but didn't get the chance to go. No companion and it's quite pricey too. I just feel like going to so many places for a holiday. It has been quite a long time. I miss my Penang and Melaka trip from last year already. Those days. 

Lately the person keep looking for me, I just don't feel good about it cause everytime when he pops up suddenly or out of the blue, he definitely served a purpose. Otherwise, he wouldn't popped out at all. Yes, this person treats everyone around him as an item, since he has it all. He can afford it. That's sad though, that what makes him a lonely person. Good friends would leave and those who stays, well, I am not sure. I am already very disappointed with this person so probably most things he does seems bad to me or I have been closing one eye for some time, maybe. I will try my best to think the positive still. I need to be good this year right. Chant song is playing in my room right now, everyday. I am thinking if I should leave it on during my vacation. The electric bill would be crazy. Let's see how during then. 

It's not easy to update a good resume for me since my English is not that great and that's why it's taking up time. It's also because I am someone with experience now, it's even harder. The other time it was easier because I was a fresh graduate. But now it's different. I need to write it professionally. I can do this babeh. So many things to accomplish. FIGHTING! POSITIVE! 

What a life. I hope there's gonna be more pictures for my Penang trip! 

21 February 2017

Time to be serious and keep moving forward

Enough of procrastinations. On a serious mode with my resolutions now. Time to work on things for real. It's a totally STOP right now! I can't continue anymore. Felt like my body can't take it anymore and this weekend gonna be a deep shit since I would need to go for a vacation and it's all about eating. Probably I could just have small portion but is that even possible? I am worried though. The least, I need to make sure this week is a success till Thursday! I am thinking how should I do it this weekend. I need to drink lots of the tea and make sure this week's place work smoothly. Eat at less portion and walk a lot would be a good thing! I CAN'T DO THE BAD HABIT ANYMORE! I CAN'T!

I am excited for my Penang trip with my family this weekend! Finally some trip after for so long ! One thing about trips that I am worried that it's about food and eat. That's Malaysian style but as for me, I like to visit places and explore the place, I am not bothered by food though. There's so much thing to plan though and I am not there yet since it's a last minute plan though. I am gonna finish it by today since I won't do any work related stuff or so at home, I would need to clean my computer still by this week so yea, I will carry on as soon as I reached home to do it since weekend am always out and not at home. I actually final met the Korean friend from conversation exchange last weekend and I was actually quite disappointed. Picture do deceives a lot! I am bad too, just friends is fine but he's weird. I am just frustrated that everytime I meet a Korean friend here, 80% of them are weird. Normal ones would leave soon or rarely you can find one that would really mingle with the locals! I want more normal Korean friends :( My good friends are leaving soon! I have no one to communicate and hang out with anymore. It has been just a week, I felt like I miss my friends already! 

Penang is a great place for vacation but not a place that I would want to stay, it's congested and the people are not so nice as I heard of. This weekend I would need to adjust my diet a little. Damn it though. This is stressed since I need to stop my habit! I need to anyway, just walk more! I actually visited most places I would like to visit my friends though. This time I would like to visit places that we haven't been yet! 

Felt like there's gonna be so many trips this year, but not sure if any of them would be a real thing. It's always easy to mention that we would like to have a trip with friends, but because all of us are working right now, it's hard to match our time to go for a trip. Especially for those who are already in a relationship. They can't divide their time well at all though. Perhaps this is what attached people like, not all but most of them. Will I be so? I wonder though. Hopefully though. The question is will I ever be attached even! TT

I really need to finish my resume by this week as well. I am already in the midst of hunting a little and hope to submit it by next week and tender by next week. My latest for stay on would be on April now. No later than that at all ! 

Trying to go healthy today onwards aside for this weekend. Wish me luck, I need to anyway for my own purpose since I am getting old. Work out right! 

20 February 2017

Resistance and STOP NOW!

It's never an easy thing to stop since I started it that's why it has been dragged for a year and it's a really bad thing that I stopped it so late. It's like an addict that's hard to stop. I just wish I didn't start it and did it in a healthy way. I don't like myself that love to rush things. Now that I started this and trying to stop it for my health purpose, I am having so much stress and tension and worries. I totally regret it, totally. I wish I hadn't started it at all so that I wouldn't need to suffer now, add on to my 2017 resolution now, delayed for a month for this year and not gonna delay anymore. It's no good and it's dangerous. There's many big warning signs to wake me up and last Saturday was a big one. So I made yesterday as my official last day. Works out starts today and that stops today, time to shape up with actions but not just words. Everyone around me is putting an effort now, I can't loose to them! I need to be success as well! So let's do it babeh! 

I am so lazy to attend meetups lately. Has been boring and there's no interesting people to meet as well. Where are all the slightly young and normal Koreans? Guess I need to go to Korea to find them! I really wanna leave this country and settle down in overseas. It's not easy these days but I am gonna believe that I can make it. I am already in the midst of updating my resume and hopefully to deposit it by this week! I should the least get ready my letter once I land a new environment. Hope the least I can get a good one before leaving the country though. I am just envious that some things just happen so smoothly for certain people but I would need to go to a tougher road but yeah, I will not lost hope. Probably this way would shape me into a better person and good lessons to learn. I  hope I would achieve my dream, goals and resolutions before I officially turn 30 years old. Time is ticking and I wanna do it quick, smart and in a good way. 

I just realised what I barely keep in touch with my oldmates. Felt like most of them are still at the generation pace or in progress. Not many has already pass that pace. Am I too quick? That's why I like to mingle with the matures and adults? Am I normal? Did that incident last to years shaped to who am I now? Probably and must be right? Everyone needs to undergo a deep experience to be mature and I guess lots of my friends hasn't been through yet I guess. I feel so though. I think I am still learning to cope with the social mingles. I am working hard on it to mend with any generations. This is the social world! It's really important as time goes by. I can't always be myself though. I need to follow the wave and act as it is. It's tiring but it would be good for me in future. Facts of life! LEARNT! It would be a good thing! 


19 February 2017

Health and STOP

Alright, I woke up quite early yesterday since I didn't really sleep late the night before cause I wasn't feeling quite well though. I managed to moved my mother board down now, more space on the table though! And Managed to clean the table plastic instead of buying a new one ! Saved, problem all solved. Brought mum around and paid my bills finally! My phone was barred actually since I missed out the two months, since I don't trust their system, I need to go all the way to Time Square to pay the bills, such a hassle! At least, I have evidence. On our way back, mum received an urgent call from her sister that her mum, which is my grandma is in a bad condition, gave us a short shock but apparently, she had an extremely low blood sugar. But that moment, really gave be a shock, before the parademic comes. I fee like, it's a big warning that I should stop and really mean it. It's my last warning that I need to stop and I promised that today would be the last day. I understand and felt shock at the moment because I know once I destroyed by health it's gonna be hard to restore. The worst part, I might trouble my love ones. So please stop already for real. It's gonna be a tough journey but I believe I can make it, I wanna stop it, eat healthy and work out for my own health purpose! I stopped coffee and ice/cold drinks totally already. Moving on to stop more things, fried food and snacks now. 

After waited for mum for like an hour, we went for dinner. As usual we always need to wait for the young ones and I really dislike going out dinner with them. Felt like there's always waste of time. Forget about it anyway. Waste of energy and time. Ate waffles for dinner after some spaghetti! It was quite  good though. Forgot to take some picture actually. Oh well, I will be back though. Seems like we are regular now. The environment of the cafe has changed a little. After the dinner, went back home to drop my family and changed to go for a second round! Met the old high school mates again, ate ice cream except for me since I can't eat anything cold or acidic now. In fact, I am in plans to cut down, but this time I totally cut down with those. A good start. As usual, Malaysian timing, always late and never punctual. Waited a while for another friend sat a while and moved to another place near our houses. This time, my friend get to introduce her long time boyfriend, Mr. Nice Guy. She's actually really luck though. We managed to find a new cafe that opens 24 hours around our area as well! These kind of places are getting more and more. This is a good thing! 

The environment is pretty good though but the waitress services are a little soso. Not so friendly. We stayed till quite late but not as late a before since I have appointment later today. Had deep chat again, but I think we shouldn't hang out too often, felt like we will run out of topics though but yeah, a good catch up and time to start with things. No more honeymoon and bad habits! Tomorrow is the start! Don't just say but do it! We were actually talking about arranging a trip together as well but I doubt that would happen though so yeah, I think I am not gonna mention it anymore cause I don't want to be the planner, troublesome and I am gonna be busy and tensed up soon since I need to fight against myself with the bad habit soon! 


18 February 2017

Serious and Worried.

The sign and symptoms are quite obvious lately and I don't know why I am not stopping it totally at all? Not afraid? I am but I am still doing it? What am I thinking? It's the second day of the pain yesterday! I hope by this weekend the pain will go off, otherwise I am in deep shit. I promised that I will start my Monday onwards. I need to and I must do it. I need to start everything before March 2017 reaches, I have already delayed two months and no more delays! I don't wanna regret it later so please! I have two months to be exact to work on myself so let's do it properly! LET'S ROCK THIS BABEH! So many so begin. I managed to find a way to restore my files but the programme required some fees, so I need to find alternatives to restore my files without fees! I am not loaded but soon to be! Still in the midst in settling this problem and hope to settle by next week. It's gonna be the real busy week next week since I was procrastinating last week. Just started some, bit by bits but got a knocked that I need to do it already! BRING IT ON ! 

My dog is getting old and I feel like getting another indoor dog. I just love dogs, if I am rich one day I would like to build a shelter for the dogs! These pictures were long ago when I still had them and they were puppies! My house was too small to accommodate the retriever so we have got no choice but to give him away, sad though. The toy poodle was bought by my parents but he ran away. He's really cute though he's really stupid most of the times. So hard to teach him, felt like he never learnt but I pity him at times, cause he always does his business in the house though we trained him to do it outside, at times we would leave him outside to learn. But yeah, I sometimes regret doing it, pity. 

I re-flashed the past a lot lately, I missed those days. Those young days and innocent, where we do not know much things and just study and play. What a life but now, there's so much to worry about and to do too. I am getting old. I am still not putting to regain my health while everyone around me is doing so. I need to do something about it. I really need to. I am considering next week onwards. PLEASE. Even my siblings are putting effort to look good healthy. What am I doing? I should be better instead right! Let's do it as well! Hard work, effort and determination ! DO IT NOW OR NEVER!  

I was close with my cousins when we were young but as we got older we slowly drifted apart, but we are getting the bonding back together once again though but not often since we are all grown up now and have our own programmes most of the time. And when they have kids, we will have even hang out times anymore. Time passes so fast! 

I missed the young me. Because of my habit I look awful now. I am destroying myself silently. I wanna regained and recover. PLEASE.

17 February 2017

Put A Stop

Signs are getting bad, the fatigue explains, the chest pain is worst now. It's time to put a STOP for real, stop dragging and postpone, the signs are bad enough. Don't make it far worst! It's not easy to restore the original good state, so please STOP already before it's too late. This week, this week. Totally none next week onwards! I am scared for the past few days but I am still doing it. I actually don't really feel well these days. It's a warning for me to stop. It definitely is and why did I still do it? I am not scared? WAKE UP! 

Since the new cupboard came in, I finally organised my room, from every corner since it's too late for me to realise that I am not supposed to move things, I will want to get a player to play a chant song while I am not in the room. I thought of using my laptop but it's not in a good condition anymore, maybe I will test it this weekend or see if there's any cheap player to buy though. Something would just play the song over and over or for long period of time. I just want that kind of player. Moreover I need to pay my phone bill this weekend cause I think my line is barred for two months late. Since I always need to go to Time Square to pay, it's hard for me to pay on time! Troublesome, cause their system sucks and I don't actually trust them. So I decided to go there and pay on the spot! At least I will have the receipt! 

Friend left for a holiday for on a week and I felt like I miss him already, without him around, I just can't call the rest out. That's a pity. Felt like only him makes me feel part of it :) No wonder he has so many friends back in his home country! I said I wanna hang out with them more, but yeah, it got lesser instead. One last trip together the least? I think we never went for overnight trip as four together before. I wanna meet more Koreans like them. It's really not easy though. Lately I found some, maybe should meet up and see how this weekend. Let's decide and plan.

I think my PMS is late this month or is coming soon cause my mood swing is crazy lately and I am tired and sleepy at the same time. I supposed to sleep early though. Why am I sleeping so late still? I am already not taking good care of my health already so this is not my good habit as well. I need to change by March, no more delays. It's bad enough. Oh please. By when can I eat normally? By the time I start working out! This weekend maybe? Running? The will and determination needs to be really strong ! I NEED TO! 

Besides cube toasts, I am also a big fan of waffles! I just love waffles! Totally love it, I can just eat it the whole day! I don't know why I love it, but it's really hard to find a good one in town! I never really ate one that's really good, maybe I haven't been to the good ones yet! Any introduction? A good place that has delicious waffles? My mum is pretty good in waffles as well and it has been some time since she made one! 

I hope in a month time I can eat my meals normally and I am in the progress of working out. My goal for next month. I need to make it and work things out. I need to get the talisman person to see mine at the soonest, I am quite worried since I moved things around. I know positives overtakes the negatives, I will continue to be :)


16 February 2017

Lost all my songs

I am feeling really sad that I have lost all my songs that I have downloaded for the past 10 years. It's not easy to have that collections and I guess it's time to get to know the KPOP from scratch again. I am not sure this is a good or a bad thing but it's taking off my time for sure. This is a great lesson I learnt. I need to save my files and stuffs at multiple places now. I need to have lots of back up from today onwards. Regrets, but nevertheless I will find alternatives to save as much files as possible. Feeling sad, disappointed and depress. 

I delayed again for two days. And I think that I really should start my healthy habit now because the pain is getting worst and it's really a bad sign, I have read many articles, once my health is damaged it would be hard to restore back. I don't wanna go to that extend, it's more than a year. I need to stop it right now, I am taking small meals every two hours till 4PM and once I reached home I will just drink a cup of yogurt 4 hours before sleep. I hope this will help. I really need to heal myself before it's too late, I know I have said this many times but this is seriously now, the pain is getting bad. I don't wanna kill myself, so please start it already! I wanna have nice figure but I am not doing anything, I only have two months to shape up my body though. I think Kahi from After School, used to has a nice body! Her abs is just admirable! She gave birth to a kid but still looking good! Work out is important, but I never really start it which I should actually. She's my inspiration. 

There's so many injections to do this weekend. Heard there's a free vaccine injection around so I am gonna get it though. Also, my blood donation and I need to do my blood test too, maybe after I fixed my diet this month and I will do it probably around mid-March, to have a better results though. I will make it to succeed my 2017 resolutions! I CAN DO IT! Not just being healthy or work out, I wanna achieve my career as well. 

I got a new cupboard for my room, no mum did. After shifting the furnitures in my room, I just remembered that my room position was not supposed to shift anything due to feng sui. I am feeling a little worried now though and my mum asked me to chant, I don't think I have free time to chant though, I guess the solution is to play chant musics in my room now, gosh. I totally forgot about it and it's unavoidable as well. I hope everything would still be fine. Fingers crossed. I need to be positive to overcome the negatives, the positives outweighs the bad! So no worries! Be positively strong that's enough! The least, my room looks so decent now! I have one cupboard to place all my stuffs! 

I wanna go for a holiday still! But I don't think I would never mentioned it any further, no one wanna arrange and I don't have time to do so. I am good at planning but I am not in the position to actually prepay first, sadly. If I am filthy rich than yeah, by all means I am glad to help but... sad life. And sigh, felt like we are drifting apart lately. That's sad to know though, how close were we and now, felt like total strangers. I feel it's such a waste though. Because of ego and the attitude, he is a lonely man. Probably he doesn't mind since he has money and probably to him, money buys happiness, sadly.