31 March 2017

Simple and Inspiring.




30 March 2017


I am actually quite sure with his attention and I think I need to be more straightforward now. I think I was being to nice so I am not gonna be now. For some things, I have to do so and be more cautious and careful too. Human is so complicated, I can't define them genuine or not. I can't give an exact perception of a human, especially for those who are in sales. They are pretty damn good in hiding themselves but unfortunately, they reveal themselves at times of desperate. I may look naive and blur, I just need to wear these mask, I can't always show the real me. I don't want people to understand me and I wanna catch their real intention. So this is how it worked. I have to more to learn and the social work is not easy. I need to be really careful since I am a female, especially when comes to drinking, picking the right cliche is important. Need to be cautious with my surroundings too. I am taking this challenge and I need to overcome it smartly. This is nerve wrecking so I need to be extra careful. I am feeling stressed and tensed now actually. Playing on my mind from time to time and makes me frustrated though. Well, this is life. Male nature will always be male nature, just how good they can hold it. But sadly, many can't. I can see that, I can feel that and my instinct is right. I trying to make it right now.  I am facing so much challenges now. I need to face it bravely and positively. Guys are dangerous beings! 

I have to much to do this week. I have not finish my Japanese sort outs yet, I am thinking if I should continue to search more songs or just leave it, cause Japanese songs are not so my kind of music. Probably I will just search a little and I will stop and finish sorting. Late nights to do it now, since I only have expos, I will probably sleep a little late this week. Since April is gonna be a clear month, I hope I can finish my Korean songs at the soonest by a month too. Nah, probably 3 weeks since I need a week to think how am I gonna store the musics at a good online storage besides harddisk, it's a bad experience enough. Also, I need to clear my Iphone, cause it's getting lag, too many pictures in the phone I supposed while my Ipad is empty. This is ironic. If Iphone has dual sim card, that would be much more convenient. I am inlove with my new phone as well. Probably this week would be the last week I would be quite busy and packed with schedule and activities. 

I have meeting a lot with my old friends lately and it feels good to keep in touch with them. I was so busy and stressed for the past two years that I did not get the chance to meet my old friends. Now that, I am a little better, I am starting to keep in touch with some bunch of friends. At least, I think I found some good cliches to travel probably. Sometimes I wish I am a male, much convenient and safer. There's no misunderstanding or whatever shit. You can never be a best friend with a guy, that's what I noticed lately. Feeling pressured, unless I am back with my old self, wait I can't. It's hard for me to become how I am now, I can't return to the old me. I don't want to regret it for another time, I don't want to continue doing it. I am having hard time trying to stop what I have started now. I don't wanna do it further. I am regretting it. I can't bring it forward month to month, I really can't. It's really bad, really bad. 


29 March 2017

Genting Highland Casino

Alright, last two nights was crazy, I actually went up to Genting after work and it has been some time since I do that. Feels great though. Was busy at work and really felt like going somewhere once I was back, that's when I saw my friend's message, called back and he said let's go to Genting. Of course definitely it would be an ON for me cause I love it there! Since it was quite late when we reached there, we did not managed to go to Sky Avenue! I actually wanted to take a look at the place though but just end up in the casino. Apparently I gave my friend some fortune, he's not the only one though. Whenever I am in the casino with someone, they tend to win but not myself. That's why I never touch gambling, I never like to bet on my hard-work earned money. I would feel really stress! So I just watched him play the whole night. Honestly, it has been some time since I hang out with an old friend this close and honestly, I still don't really know him yet so I need to be cautious still. I am still observing regardless. I don't wanna put to high hopes and I hope it's not the inch that I thought of. Anyway, there will be a new theme park in Genting Highlands late this year or early this year! I can't wait to go there once it's ready. I have been waiting for some time. I don't know why I like it there so much, maybe it's cold I think. I really like cold weather though I am quite afraid of cold lately. Weird me and yes. I managed to stop myself from eating ice cream that day! I really had the urge to eat but I managed to control myself, which I should though. Who's excited for the new theme park in Genting by New Century Fox? Cause I am ! I haven't try the glass cable car yet, I really would like to try it one day! 

It's gonna be a long weekend since I am gonna work for the whole day. I don't really enjoy it but I don't really mind it as well. I just wanna finish my sort out by this week so that's why I am ranting right now. GRRR! I am out again, I should stay in not out though cause I have so much to do still. I guess I would probably need to sleep quite late these days! I am gonna have lunch with another bunch of old mates in two days time, hopefully everyone would be able to make it since it has been some time since I seen them! Time passes so fast and they are still at the same company still. So much to catch up, felt like now, old mates are starting to meet up with each other though. This is a good sign. After a good chat with my friend that night, I felt like every family has it's own story. Guess ours is pretty much similiar, in fact I felt he's a bit more sad but he's so positive still. I really admire the so positive in people cause I am learning that too though it's not easy out of me. STOPPING the bad habit totally is already hard and I am still fighting against myself with it and let's make it a success for everything by this week, before weekend cause it's gonna be APRIL soon! WOW, mid-year is coming and this is really scary, rushing rushing and I can do this! 

I finally revealed my story to another person and I broke down again. I became emotionally weak. He would be the 3rd person who knows my story. Not many people knows the story and I don't really like to talk about it to anyone. He's another person that I cried in front again, after my good friends that I always talked about. I think its not good to talk about it at mid-night cause i tend to cry. I have been holding it for some time. I still controlled it that night, I don't wanna cry like a baby so I stopped, breath in and out. I promised not to cry so much anymore this year. I wanna be strong and wise! I never knew he has so much such stories, guess we missed a lot about each other though. Again, guys will never tell truth to their partner or mothers. So typical. 

28 March 2017

Leave and Actions

April is approaching this Saturday and this is so scary, I have not done anything much yet and mid year is on the way! WOW! Time just doesn't slow down at all. I am finally done with my English and Chinese sort outs and currently doing my Japanese sort outs. Hopefully will be able to finish them by this week, which I supposed to. So many outings last week but friend is back with his travelling so yeah, and this week events! Gosh. it's gonna be busy till end of this week. Next months schedule is a little loose but May is gonna be busy again, I am targeting mid-May or end of May. I am actually late a month and I thought of avoiding the events on May but seems like I can't now. My fault but nevertheless, I need to begin a new environment by June or mid-May the earliest, no later than that at all, time is ticking interminably and I need to catch up with it. Last week was a two days success and I wish, hope and must make sure that this week onwards is a full week the least! I need to stop for real. April is here and I seriously can't bring it forward anymore. This is dangerous. Since I was out the whole week to even work out, this week 3 days would be good since I am gonna be working during the weekend. April should be good for full week workout. Was supposed to visit centres to check out the prices but probably will first start a class next Monday around my house. Hope I am not too tired since I am working a day before. PFFTTT. 

I have been halting myself from cold drinks, ice cream, alcohol and fried foods for some time but last whole week, I have been consuming them a lot. I really can't anymore, I don't wanna fall back again. Cold drinks are not hard for me, since I am getting used to it not to call drinks that are too cold. But ice cream, seriously, I need to STOP. I ate it almost everyday and at the wrong time! I shouldn't eat last week! So please and please, I need to take care of my health seriously. I am not getting young but old so this year would be it! I need to stop eating fried foods as well since my blood report showed this part of it that wasn't that food. Even with spicy foods, I reduced quite a but so from today onwards, I need to work even harder to stop even more and take only the good foods! Weekdays, during the days are not hard, just that when I am back, weekend or during my off days! This is so stress, financially, work and health! GRRR! So troublesome to be a female as always! 

I love to drink makgeoli but when I found out that there's banana makgeoli, I was addicted to it at a period. But due to my health I actually stopped for a while though. I saw there's places that sells it now, but the price is crazy. I don't waste so much on alcohol. Both  my favourite combinations! There are also other flavour from this brand. I wanna try them too! 

I really wanna go for a trip and there's no right person that I can find to actually go with me though. Lately I found some, but most of them has partners so I guess it would be quite hard for them though. When can I go for a trip ? I wanna go to the beach mostly, locally since I can't afford overseas yet. Maybe next year I am able too. I am trying to save as much as I could and try to find more side incomes as much as I can, since my activities on weekends is gonna reduced, I can do some part times. I will need to try to look around, but I am really interested with Uber or Grabcar though but the car seems to have some problem a little. I will need to see how now. 

27 March 2017


It was a great weekend again this week. I managed to have a rest on Friday, had dinner with mum and stayed in. I was really exhausted. The next morning, woke up early to prepare for Qing Ming, it's a kind of Chinese festival as below.  (from Wikipedia)

The Qingming or Ching Ming Festival, also known as Tomb-Sweeping Day in English, is a traditional Chinese festival on the first day of the fifth solar term of the traditional Chinese lunisola calendar. This makes it the 15th day after the Spring Equinox, either 4 or 5 April in a given year. Other common translations include Chinese Memorial Day and Ancestors' Day.
Qingming has been regularly observed as a statutory public holiday in China. In Taiwan, the public holiday is now always observed on 5 April to honor the death of Chiang Kai-shek on that day in 1975. It became a public holiday in mainland China in 2008.
In the mainland, the holiday is associated with the consumption of qingtuan, green dumplings made of glutinous rice and barley grass. In Taiwan, the similar confection is known as caozaiguo or shuchuguo.
A similar holiday is observed in the Ryukyu Islands, called Shīmī in the local language.


The festival originated from the Cold Food Festival ("Hanshi Festival"), established by Chong'er, Duke Wen of Jin, during the Spring and Autumn period. The festival was a memorial for his retainer Jie Zitui, who had loyally followed him during his years of exile. Supposedly, he once even cut meat from his own thigh to provide Chong'er with soup. Once Chong'er was enthroned as duke, however, Jie considered his services no longer required and resigned. Although Duke Wen was generous in rewarding those who had helped him in his time of need, he long passed over Jie, who had moved into the forest with his mother. Duke Wen went to the forest in 636 bc but could not find them. He then ordered his men to set fire to the forest in order to force Jie out. When Jie and his mother were killed instead, the duke was overcome with remorse and ordered three days without fire to honor Jie's memory. The city erected over the former forest is still called Jiexiu (lit. "Jie's rest").
The present importance of the holiday is credited to the Emperor Xuanzong. Wealthy citizens in China were reportedly holding too many extravagant and ostentatiously expensive ceremonies in honor of their ancestors. In ad 732, Emperor Xuanzong sought to curb this practice by declaring that such respects could be formally paid only once a year, on Qingming.


An Indonesian Chinese family pray for their deceased members at Qingming Festival of 2013 under the Heaven Gate of Sanggar Agung.
Qingming Festival is when Chinese people visit the columbaria, graves or burial grounds to pray to their ancestors.
The Qingming Festival is an opportunity for celebrants to remember and honour their ancestors at grave sites. Young and old pray before the ancestors, sweep the tombs and offer food, tea, wine, chopsticks, joss paper, and/or libations to the ancestors. The rites have a long tradition in Asia, especially among farmers. Some people carry willow branches with them on Qingming or put willow branches on their gates and/or front doors. They believe that willow branches help ward off the evil spirit that wanders on Qingming.
On Qingming, people go on family outings, start the spring plowing, sing, and dance. Qingming is also a time when young couples traditionally start courting. Another popular thing to do is to fly kites in the shapes of animals or characters from Chinese opera. Another common practice is to carry flowers instead of burning paper, incense, or firecrackers.[8]
Colored papers placed on a grave during Qingming Festival, Bukit Brown Cemetery, Singapore
Despite having no official status, the overseas Chinese communities in Southeast Asian nations, such as those in Singapore and Malaysia, take this festival seriously and observe its traditions faithfully. Some Qingming rituals and ancestral veneration decorum observed by the oversea Chinese in Malaysia and Singapore can be dated back to Ming and Qing dynasties, as the oversea communities were not affected by the Cultural Revolution in Mainland China. Qingming in Malaysia is an elaborate family function or a clan feast (usually organized by the respective clan association) to commemorate and honour recently deceased relatives at their grave sites and distant ancestors from China at home altars, clan temples or makeshift altars in Buddhist or Taoist temples. For the oversea Chinese community, the Qingming festival is very much a family celebration and, at the same time, a family obligation. They see this festival as a time of reflection and to honour and give thanks to their forefathers. Overseas Chinese normally visit the graves of their recently deceased relatives on the nearest weekend to the actual date. According to the ancient custom, grave site veneration is only feasible ten days before and after the Qingming Festival. If the visit is not on the actual date, normally veneration before Qingming is encouraged. The Qingming Festival in Malaysia and Singapore normally starts early in the morning by paying respect to distant ancestors from China at home altars. This is followed by visiting the graves of close relatives in the country. Some follow the concept of filial piety to the extent of visiting the graves of their ancestors in mainland China. Traditionally, the family will burn spirit money and paper replicas of material goods such as cars, homes, phones and paper servants. In Chinese culture, it is believed that people still need all of those things in the afterlife. Then family members take turns to kowtow three to nine times (depending on the family adherence to traditional values) before the tomb of the ancestors. The Kowtowing ritual in front of the grave is performed in the order of patriarchal seniority within the family. After the ancestor worship at the grave site, the whole family or the whole clan feast on the food and drink they brought for the worship either at the site or in nearby gardens in the memorial park, signifying family reunion with the ancestors. Another ritual related to the festival is the cockfight,[9] as well as being available within that historic and cultural context at Kaifeng Millennium City Park (Qingming Riverside Landscape Garden).
The holiday is often marked by people paying respects to those who died in events considered sensitive. The April Fifth Movement and the Tiananmen Incident were major events in Chinese history which occurred on Qingming. When Premier Zhou Enlai died in 1976, thousands visited him during the festival to pay their respects. Many also pay respects to victims of the 
Since we need to go to two places, it was actually quite tiring and the weather was really hot that day. Had late lunch with aunt and grandma. It has been some time since we had lunch together. I was so exhausted when I was back that I had to take some nap, which I usually don't though. I usually will stay on till night. Once I woke up, it was actually time for me to get ready right away to go to meet my friends. I was frustrated on how I was supposed to travel there, since I don't feel like driving the car, thank god my friend called up and offered to pick me up. Thank you Friend! We went to somewhere near to meet, had dinner together. So much talk during the 3-4 hours dinner time, till the mall closed, so much of laughs as well. It was good to catch up with the old high school mates! I really missed those moments, so nostalgic. I am feeling so old already. There's so much memories that I couldn't really remember though. But these bunch, old good friends. We went for another found, karaoke! It has been some time though. We were supposed to watch movie but there wasn't any nice movie or timing to fit in so we went to sing instead. After the singing session, we actually went for another round at MAMAK, our last round with out deep talks. I even had the least 3 hours talk with my old friend who fetched me back in the car till 6AM! Can imagine how long we did not meet that we have so much to talk about! Felt it wasn't even enough as well and I was actually really sleepy, if I did not take a nap, I would have dozed off. Our next session would be at Genting. Supposed to do it next week but I have some events so probably after two weeks more. Hopefully it will work out! I am looking forward already! 

Sunday was a rest day for me the whole day. Too much outing last week. The Japanese sorting is taking my time since there's download limits! GRRR! I need to finish it my this week though! I can, guess I have to sleep late this week. It was a two days success last week and hope it's a full week from today onwards, the day is good. Please do it till the end! This week will determine my success, so PLEASE STOP DOING IT ALREADY AND START FULL WORKOUT THE WHOLE WEEK! I can make it! I CAN DO IT! I have so much to do still, keeping myself occupied whenever I am home lately, trying my best to heal myself as well. April is coming and I can't continue anymore, this is really getting bad! STOP JERICA STOP DOING IT ALREADY STOP IT TOTALLY! 

26 March 2017

STOP with ice cream

Sometimes, you just have to limit your distance with some one no matter how close you think you are with them. Not everything can be tell, not everyone is suitable to listen, if it's not because I would want to find a topic to converse, I basically wouldn't not talk much.  I am always the listener. Unless, I felt like I need to initiate the talk during a group that's more quiet than me. I feel always need to bring myself well around. Since I need to social around, I need to learn more about this trait! I think it's good to learn though. AHHH! I have been doing good for two days and I need to continue to be so for the rest of my life! This is for my own good! Working out everyday is a good habit that I need to keep it going, don't give up though it's tiring, sooner or later I would get used to it though. So yeah, you can work things out! I had too much ice creams and alcohol last week, things that I shouldn't be taking at all, I mean lesser but I am doing it. This is no good, really. I need to stop taking ice cream, though I have reduced my cold drinks. Alcohol, though I don't drink much now, I should really reduce more. So much to bother about. But workout is definitely a must. 

Tsujiri is my favourite place for green tea ice cream or roasted green tea ice cream aside from NANA's Green Tea! But Nana's Green Tea is a little pricey, the quality is definitely there. It has been some time since I had their green tea. Lately, I am always eating Tsujiri a lot, whether it's at Solaris Mont Kiara or Damansara Uptown. I prefer ice creams that are not too sweet. Macdonalds has green tea ice cream now but it's a little too sweet though! Finally they have one but yeah, it would be good if it is less sweet! 

I felt like I need to improve my English a lot with grammars and vocabs! I wanna speak really good English, like a native. I missed speaking English with the natives. It has been a very very long time. I wanna converse more in proper English but there's not many Westerners who attend the meetups. I don't get to practice it. I need to adjust my English most of them to adapt with the group. I am just afraid that they can't catch me. I felt like that would slow down my English as well though. AHHH ~ How how? Anyway, I still blog and read in English and sometimes in Korean, so hope this method helps. Is it good to be multilingual? I wouldn't say it's good or no good but it's definitely not easy to be fluent in all languages at the same time, I guess I need more time since I practise all languages at the same time with different cliches. I hope by end of next year, I would be able to take up Japanese. So I need to be good in all round for my Korean and Chinese! Quickly sort out the files and finalise everything by April so I can study Chinese by May! Wow, it's gonna be mid-year soon! Time passes really fast and it's really scary! My age is catching up! I am feeling so much older already! I guess I need to mingle around with the younger generation to feel young and to catch up with the latest. Otherwise, I would feel more old! I even have friends who are married with kids or most of them have partners! What about me? Am I asking for too high standards but..... Oh well. 

25 March 2017

New Friends! =3

I was so tired on my first day of PMS which I could expected cause I feel extra tired and the stomachache. I slept late and drank quite late the night before. I was actually quite tired and I promised my friend to bring him to the night market the day after. I wanna ditch him but it's just not my kind of thing so I just went to the meetup first an then to the night market. It was quite late when we reach there but there's still many people. The Malaysian night owls. I actually went to the meetup and I would say it's lucky that I went for the meet up. I can't miss any good meet ups anymore. I try not to miss the weekend meetups now, since I was offered to be a host though. I try to stay in during weekdays as much as I could cause I have lots to do, I hope that this week is the only week I am gonna hang out so much during the weekdays, just because my Korean friend is having his holiday here and I am bringing him around. I even met some friendly Korean friends in the meetup! We like sort of felt close during our first meetup that day. My friend even thought we knew each other and I glad that they can cliche well when we had dinner together. I like the chemistry is important, if you can cliche with someone during the first meeting, mostly likely the friendship will continue. I can't seem to connect to Japanese people. I find it hard. Not sure it's because of the culture or the language. I find it both, so I hope by year end next year I can begin with Japanese and then German! From time to time till I get old, I am gonna take more and more languages! French and Spanish! Latin in the list as well! Okay, back to topic. We actually went to Taman Connaught night market to have our dinner though. Apparently it's everyone's first time except me. It was packed with people as usual. I don't usually go there cause I had crowds, unless I have tourists friends to bring to. Otherwise, I would just avoid that place! We need to find a place to sit and eat, as usual the Korean culture, beer. We actually sat at a Chinese restaurant to have a drink and chatted till almost 1.30AM and 3 out of 4 of us are working the next day. I am feeling satisfied that I can understand almost 70% of their Korean conversation and topic that day is about HISTORY! The Korean dude really likes HISTORY! He knows my own country's history better than me, basically he knows a lot about HISTORY everywhere! He picks up languages bit by bit quite good too. I really wanna join in the conversation though I understand but it's so hard to express myself. He even advised me to work for a Korean company locally and my pay would be good since I can the least listen quite well and speaking quite okay too. I am looking in to that as well. Gosh, I need to release my resume by next week man! 

While on our way back, we talked about trips. They do travel a lot though. Where do they get all these money! I always say that I want to meet friends that's around my age and would stay here longer and now I met them! :) He even invited me to go Pulau Redang with them and I hope this is gonna happen cause I really wanna travel to beach! Probably June or July as mentioned? Fingers crossed. I hope it would be good. Probably the beach trip with my friends would be cancelled though as usual. But still let's not put too high hopes. I don't wanna organise so I would just tag along with the right people to go. I think this group would be okay though. I felt different mixing with this bunch of Koreans and with my usual gang. Maybe because we are all around the same age, practically? I still wanna meet more Korean friends. The other Korean dude did not keep in touch with me anymore though. Oh well. Wouldn't really bother about it. Maybe he's busy. 

It's quite hard to control myself to talk a little about myself than totally when I am starting to feel comfortable with someone. I am trying to fix this habit though. I need to talk less about myself regardless where I am,  I just don't want people to understand me throughly. I just wanna let people know me from the outside, that's it. I have been doing well last few days but still need to improve more. I did not do my bad habit last few days as well and let's keep up the good work! I am doing my best. I need to finish up my Japanese sort out at every single second I have now. I wanna finish them before April comes, cause it's gonna be the Korean sort out month for April. As well as lots of hunting to do. I am already quite busy this month and it;s gonna be more busy for the next few months as well. I am still gonna work out still everyday but since I am out the whole week last week, I didn't get to work out much but only for one day! I walked a lot last few days though. So yeah, please continue to be healthy and finish my tasks on time! STOP hanging out on weekdays so much though!

Right, I just remembered that I spoke to a native english American man. I felt like he's quite lonely for some reason. He didn't want to mention why is he here alone, why did he retired quite early, he looks not that old to retire though and doing nothing in Malaysia. I just feel he has no plans and just bored. But why Malaysia? Just because of the MM2H or something like that's benefit? Will it be worth it? As far as I know from him, he has a good job previously and now a consultant in IT, and he earns a lot. Probably that explains the probably of him to be able to retire early and leave aboard at a few places for a few years without working though. I really admire him though but he needs to find something in his life to do.. Going for meetups is good but I can feel his boredom and loneliness. He has something that he's not telling. I think there's a strong reason but I need to be careful as well. Maybe more to come, I will try to understand him. I never really study Westerners though. I never did when I was in the UK, I don't have time too and I wasn't that kind of people who really social that time. I felt stupid too cause I felt I should but I wasted it, otherwise I would have many British and overseas friends! At least, I am doing it now! GRRRR! I need to widen my social network. I wanna know more people and probably opportunity appears! :) 

ADIOS people! 

24 March 2017

A Day Walk and Hang Out

I had a half day of and brought my Korean friend around KL area last few days. It was quite fun I would say and he's nice and cute too! If he's taller. =P But he's friendly. I wish I can meet more Koreans like him though. But anyway he's only here for a short holiday though, sadly. I admire Koreans like him, they can travel around alone, the best part when they are students. They have really strong and good currency and I am envious. I actually brought him to walk around Bukit Bintang Area and Chinatown. We basically walked no stop for the whole afternoon and evening. I even had time to bring him to have dinner at Jalan Alor. It's not hard to please the Koreans when comes to food. So I glad he enjoyed. In fact, we had so many rounds of drinks from Chinatown to Jalan Alor and ice creams too! We even went to Bukit Bintang to drop by at Changkat Street for a drink. Finally get to try Rabbit Hole, quite okay too. Went for hookah as well, damn, it was quite heavy for both of us that do not smoke though! In fact, the place has many middle eastern people or local muslims, we are the only there and they are so nice to pay attention to us since we are not familiar with hookahs. The waiters there are nice to occasionally ask if we are okay. We stayed up till quite late though I have work the next day. The street is still happening though it's late on weekdays, that street we stopped by for hookah is actually an Arabic street. Pretty cool though. If I do not have work the next day, I would have drank more! GRR!

I tried to study him as well. I felt it's not easy to study Koreans because of language barrier, we communicate in both language that we are not good at. I found out that he tried to study me as well since day one and we have a few hobbies and interest are similiar. I didn't realised that he really observed me on the first day we met till that day when I asked him what do you think of me, what kind of person I am but well, most of them are not true but a few yes. It's not good to let someone to study the real you, especially someone that you just met. He's nice but sometimes he's not to alert but at times, he is as well. I think he's a little to more conservative side I would say. But yeah, I should keep in touch with him and visit him when I am in South Korea in future. I remembered he told me that he has a bar in Korea! So that would be fun :) I wanna visit Korea at the soonest! Oh yeah, I think he took a lot of candid photos of me. Gosh, I am sure it's gonna be horrific cause I don't look photogenic on pictures that's why I don't like taking pictures. :( Again, he is another person that advice me not to work in Korea, it's stress and there's no life. There's also discrimination. I think those who advice me to work there has the same thoughts as me and there is one that I know and quite close now. :D Anyway, working in overseas is still a future thing. So I will work hard towards it.

I was supposed to finish my Japanese sort out this week but my schedule is full till Thursday the least. I was supposed to have an appointment this Friday but I think I wanna leave it blank to rest and during the day on Saturday too. I feel like I am so exhausted now and I wanna take a break from a week outings. I feel crazy! I like to stay out but this is a little over for me, I am getting old, I admit it. Those younger days, HAHA, why am I saying as if I am in my 30 to 40s! I am not even there yet, enjoy a lot while I still can! :) What a life, be positive and actions please! 

23 March 2017

Speak Less and More Action

I feel like I wanna speak less from now onwards to avoid arguments or negatives output speech. I wanna distance myself a little at home, I just wanna keep myself positive, to control myself and to fix myself. There's so much to do from head to toe, I need to STOP doing my habit instantly, following my diets that changes from month to month, work out everyday, finish up my resume and do some hunting, changed the negatives in me, I am trying to be more grateful in life and work my own ass off to support myself at the soonest. I just don't want to depend on someone, it's awful cause you have no power to fight back at all, you can't talk much cause it's not yours. You can only be said of and listen. That's pathetic and horrid. I always have been envious my friends around, most of them are fortunate. But I told myself, work your ass off to get what you one is more meaningful that depending on someone's effort to get what you one. And yes, it might take some time, but eventually you will feel goddamn proud of it and it will be paid off. Though it will take a slightly longer and tougher time, but as long as I don't give up, don't complain, say more the good and positive, things will eventually be better! No one said it's easy to change, it takes time and 2017 is the year I wanna change a lot of things. As mentioned above. So from now onwards, I will keep myself as silence as possible at home. Just concentrate on finishing my sort outs. I am gonna be out for the whole week this week and I doubt I have time to even touch the sort outs. I even try to plan to work out once I am back from the outings. I would be exhausted but let's see how it goes by them. I need to make sure I work out everyday now. Monday was a good kickstart. Oh yeah, and I finally bought the yoga pants and end up bought something else as well. That's why I can't do shopping online, I can't see the cash flow out and spend it. I spent too much lately. I spent huge amount on my new decide so it's time to save up. No more travel plans from now. Since I am taking health classes, I need to reduce my outings as well. So my next environment should give me a good pay too. Talking about that, I have been dragging to long though.

I wanna try to fix myself to speak lesser vulgar words! I am getting used to it and I should stop it already. It's really bad for me and for everyone. At anytime if I feel like using it, I should just replace it with another word like WTH is still okay right? Oh  gosh, control control. Although most of the time I am pissed of when I said it, I should STOP. Even if I am not pissed off too, I can't make it into a habit, its bad. I need to fix a lot of things this year so that it would be easier for me in future. Change for the good or stay and be parsimonious. Do you want to be so? NO RIGHT! So do the hunting please! Time is ticking and it's not waiting for you. I need to get out ASAP!!!! When comes to this, I am always procrastinating, I am getting old but not young. Oh gosh. Even with the current one, I really have got no mood anymore. I felt like I will not excel and wasting my time more and more though it's flexible, but is it worth it? I am keep asking myself this questions, it's a really important question I must say. I need to work things out fast and efficiently now. It's time to move on. Was supposed to tender end of the month but I think I would be a little late, like a month later? I need to progress further and higher! UP UP HIGH! 

I am trying to social pretty much this week though I am lazy at times, cause I am busy with the set up for my event next week as well. And I am suppose to finish sorting out my Japanese songs this week but I will basically out the whole week instead and event next week. Oh gosh. I would need the whole month of April to actually finish up my Korean songs and my phone clearing as well. What about my Chinese study? I need to be really hardworking for two months to take the exam, otherwise I need to push forward it to later time. Which I try not so because I wanna prepare for TOPIK II at the soonest, otherwise I need to take it end of the year too. Besides my health and career, I need to worry about exam too. Anyway, I don't hate trying to do them, I enjoyed it actually! I wanted to type something while writing this, but I forgot it instantly, like WTH? I am not that old to forget things so easily though. Anyway, I planned to start Uber and Grabcar, trying to do it on weekends to do extra incomes. I will see how does the registration goes. I really need to do something, moreover I can know different kind of people too. So hopefully it will be a good things. Safety, I have to take the risk. 

When is the right guy is gonna appear in front of me? Am I limiting my choice too much ? Most of my friends around me knows that I only go for Korean cute guys. Okay, not specifically cute but okay look is fine to me. But there's not many not-so-old Korean guys over here! How am I gonna search for one? Not like I am really pretty or something, or I should be demanding, but I can't help it. I am sorry! Do I consider local guys? Uhhh, yes if the guy is okay, not just looks but his personalities as well. I am unique, I like older guys, not too old but most importantly MATURE and stable! Please, we are at this age, we can't be childish all the time, when comes to friends, I can tolerate, cause we need to have fun. But when comes to my other half I just can't. Cause I can't stand it and I am quite sure of it. More of wanting the other half instead, I want an older brother to take care of me and pouring love all to me. I just want that more instead. I am gonna keep my page stable and balance with pictures post and wordings post. I wanna post everyday if possible, like how I am doing now cause I know I will not have anyone to talk to anymore. So yea making used of wordings now, besides it can improved my English as well. I don't find it exactly helps but the least, I am still using my English writing as often! 


22 March 2017

Yoga and Pilates

Lately I have great interest in Yoga and Pilates! I was thinking if I want to workout I should do something that I like instead and I found these two workouts! I don't really like running on running tracks so I chose these two exercises. I have been searching high and low for a good place to learn around my area and it's not easy. Managed to find one or two, gonna give a call to find out about the price and schedules though. Hopefully it's not too pricey for me to join. I need to kickstart myself so I am searching around instead. 

I am trying out classes around my area these two weeks and officially want to start my class next month onwards. There's so much to do yoh and I can't wait! There's more meet ups this weekend as well. I will see how to arrange my time when the time comes. Since everything is not confirmed. I just wanna keep in touch with my oldmates though. It's nice that we are catching up with each other for the first 2017! Felt like it's gonna be a once a year thing as always. It's always when we gather during my CNY parties. But I no longer have CNY parties anymore ever since my dad fall sick. Sigh. I just don't wanna recall back the bad memories. From time to time, I would recall back those memories, what happened? Why he did that? Why did he had to go so early? Am I dreaming? Why us? Why now? There's so many WHYs to it but none of the questions got answered. I guess there's no accurate answers to it. I am the oldest, you can imagine my burden and responsibilities. I am not doing a great job yet and it's frustrating enough when your mum keep reminds you about it. It's not that I don't wanna be successful, who doesn't too? It's not that I don't wanna earn a lot and support more of the house? I feel like I am not capable now! It's really stressed for me. How and what can I do to earn more and a little quicker? I don't want to depend on someone anymore, I want to depend on myself. This is i when you depend on someone, you have to withstand their nonsense at times regardless. I really don't like it. I need to find a way fast! 

Reminding myself to eat and be healthy everyday cause I am at the age that I need to start before it's hard to even start. I hope this year's resolutions, at least half I will be able to achieve. Since I achieved some last year, I will need to make it this year! Year by Year it will be a success! Never give up, be positive, speak on the good, keep bad the silence, work more and talk less about myself! I felt like I speak a lot about myself and things I shouldn't lately which it's not good for me though. I need to learn to fix that! I got a lot of advices from a friend last weekend and feeling inspired. Sigh, when will I get the older brother love again? I felt there's no more lately. Feeling sad :( I just want a brother figure around me, someone that I could depend and lean on when I am down. It's tired to be the oldest and carry myself around to be strong and everything is fine. I don't need a boyfriend, I just need an older brother and I am happy enough. 

The Dark Chocolate that I drank last weekend at a Cafe near my place. It's quite okay but if it's more dark or more cocoa to it, I would definitely love it more. Anyway, it's still okay though. The waffle, I forgot to take some picture and it's quite good too surprisingly. Yes, I am a big fan of waffles! :) I can just eat good waffles for a long period of time. Why do I like waffles? I do not know why too. I like pancakes as well! Am I Chinese? Yes I am. I just like the Western style kind of thing mix with the Asian style, Chinese, Korean & Japanese? :) uhmm, when the other oppa gonna text me first instead of me? I just wanna hang out :( Is he that busy?  I would assume so since he's in a big company though. AHHHH~

21 March 2017

Meaningful Weekend

Well, weekend has been busy for me though. I managed to stay in on Friday to finish my stuffs and because I took the Starbucks new Espresso + Coconut, I couldn't sleep the whole night and I need to go for doctor consultation the next morning, how great is that. I finally tried all the Starbucks new seasonal drinks! Feeling satisfied. I spent too much this month and I should start saving now, otherwise I can't go for trips! The blood results was quite okay, surprisingly with my bad habit. Just a few not so good points but I gonna make sure my liver works perfectly and to STOP IT totally. I need to watch my eating as well. Today onwards since I am stopping it. I forgot to ask if I can donate blood still though. Thank god it didn't took me long to actually reached my turn and yeah, met my old friend! He can't really recognised me. Did I changed that much though ? So many last minute plans changed during Saturday was supposed to meet up with friends after my meetup at a bar. But I did not go for the bar hope thing and the meetup didn't make it as well. Since everyone was quite busy. I also did a last minute decision to go to the Korean meetup and met a new friend though. I had a lot of laugh that night. It has been some time though. These guys are funny! Some people just like to make fun out of themselves. 

I didn't want to go back that night, but I had to cause all my friends were busy. I felt uneasy to stay in during weekend though but end up our last minute cancelled meet up changed to the next morning, MORNING. I never had a meet up with friends in the morning before and we ate breakfast together ? This is my first time as well. And we haven't met for some time that we laugh so much that morning! I even had a long chat with my friend in the car when I am supposed to meet another friend too! It has been so long that we catch up with each other! I am happy that they are doing well and I hope my turn is coming soon too! It's nice seeing them again, really. Those days. Chatting about our study times, makes me feel really old. Time passes really fast. From time to time, our big group became smaller and I had to spilt my time to meet different groups. Felt like I am one of the ones that keep in touch with most old mates though. At least, I am still up to date with some gossips. HAHA! But it was really a meaningful day.  I even rushed to the next meetup though. We finally tried the cafe that I wanted to go for some time, it was quite near to my house and I didn't know it was quite good too! Glad we went there! Found some good courses to work out as well! Making some call today to find out some fees and stuffs. Hopefully able to find a reasonable place. I just need 3 -4 months to take the lessons and I will learn myself by then. I just need to kickstart myself, otherwise I won't.

I think I can't pursue in that company any longer this period since they need guy more though since the team is mostly guys. I don't really need to rush but still I need to finalise my thing and send out by this week. Was supposed to do last Sunday but I did not make it though. So I need to rush now! Again and again. It's gonna be a challenging month next month and I am looking forward! 

20 March 2017

Morning and Daily.

I think it's my norm that I would update my blog everyday and in the morning. Once I am awake that is or sometimes during the night. I feel like I will have more words at night and more pictures during the day, I have more things to say during the day instead. This is normal I guess? I read a survey before saying that people tend to confess more during late night, I believe that though. But for me it's just to myself only. So it should be safe I guess. I like writing, I like language but my language is not powerful enough and my grammar is weak, otherwise I wouldn't have used blogging as my stress relieved, right? I read a lot of books, though I don't used someone words, but when I see it, I recognised it and know what it means. I am capable of recognising but really not good in using them. That's my weak point, maybe I should actually learnt to use them to make my English more bombastic though. It's good for me. Alright, I am feeling the effin stress now cause I am not done with my resume and my mum keep pushing me. So I am gonna borrow my company's laptop back and go to the cafe to finish it in a day. I know I can't do it at home cause I am too concentrate in finishing my music sort outs which I wanna finish them by this month! I need to, since next month is study month and more activities to do to keep myself busy and healthy at the same time!

Really, looking back into my old Chinese songs, I remember how I loved Jay Chou so much that time when I was in primary till high school! I bought most of his albums and merchandise! Attend every of this concert when he comes. He was so hit back then! He still is but not as he used to. His song not as nice as it used to. I felt like he wants to follow the KPOP trend lately. To me, there is no need to follow the trend and just keep your own style. You see, English song did the same and they are still going strong at the language in music industry worldwide! Oh well, I feel old whenever I see him cause he's married and has a daughter now, and as rumours said, he wants a son next! His wife is really young and pretty though, younger than me! Oh wait, and he's rich too! :( 

While searching for his pictures, I felt like he aged so much, I mean of course people aged and don't get young. His looks never did changed just felt that he looks so old now. I look old now too. I am so grown up now. I basically listen to his musics growing up. Feeling so nostalgic though. Those days, everyone knows, any fan of Jay Chou wouldn't be a fan of Wang Lee Hom but I am fan of Wang Lee Hom too, music has no boundaries and his songs improved as time goes by! More and more nice songs! I like his latest album and seriously, Lee Hom aged as much as Jay Chou too! They are basically uncle now, the King of Chinese POP! Time goes by so fast that you can never imagine! Both kings are married now and even have kids! Oh my god, can you believe it? This is crazy though! More and more talented new Chinese pop stars are coming out I feel. I have been keeping up with Chinese songs too, though their songs are always sad and depressed. But their songs are good now. Even with the Mainland singers! Really talented! I am just a little out of date with Japanese songs and some English songs but because Chinese radios play English songs too so it's not so hard for me to be updated with latest English songs! PFTTT and Anyone is a fan of both Jay Chou and Lee Hom, then and now ? Who growing up listen to their songs? In fact there's many other Chinese idols too, but those days, they were big hit! I still love them, ahjeoshi! Although I became a KPOP fan majorly. :) Music has no boundaries right!?

Friend travelled to Bangkok till this Wednesday. So nice, he was busy with traveling for the past whole month and I am not envious with him. I wanna earn more money soon so I need to have a whole new environment by May! Tender tender new new! NOW NOW!  

19 March 2017

What kind of person?

Some times I wonder what kind of person am I mingling around? I felt like the confession the other day was actually the wrong thing to do, but whatever I did it after I was told that I was not supposed to. So it's actually to late. So This will actually determines how good friend he is and sincere. Otherwise, he is just bullshit rich brat that's it. I think that's common among that category. I don't put high hopes anymore so it's okay for me now though. The other one ? Don't need to say even. I don't wanna say either. Only the good remember? I wanna talk less about people here too because conversations. I need to be really careful which my words as usual.

I have search some new online work out plans for this week and hope to follow them these two weeks. I thought of taking full workout lessons but I think it's useless since I can do it ay home though. Maybe I just take a class in a week though. I am looking at pilate and piloxing. I wanna learn yoga, but now. Probably after getting my workout routine regularly. Maybe by mid-year hopefully? So yeah, this is my goal for this year since I am getting old. I need to start now because it's hard for me to start.I wanna STOP my habit totally so I am looking into this. I need to be hardworking and take the initiative to do so! Can't be lazy to work out anymore. At least I manage to rush my sort outs ASAP though. I hope I will do the same serious with my workouts too. It's important and good for me. 

I am looking for a good drama lately but seems like nothing is as good as Goblin though. I am boring with the latest dramas now though. I don't really watch them much already. I think I have watch too much dramas to make me creative though. It's my hobby~! I was introduced with this song when I sang karaoke with the Koreans. I felt the vocals are not so good but the song is really nice ! I felt it's meaningful though and it's really an old song. I know the group but didn't know their songs was okay. So I have been listening to them lately. Relax my mind with their songs.

It's gonna be a short post today probably. Enjoy your Sunday with this lovely music! I listened to it almost everyday but reduced lately. 


18 March 2017


I felt the distance getting further and further. This is sad though when you are friends with people that's slightly more adult. Especially they are attached and their partner is old-fashion typically aunty. Oh well, but I don't really feel it anymore though. I guess time do heals. As I think by, I shouldn't have said most things and be more careful though. What has been done has been done, can't retreat my words. I will be more cautious with my friends now, especially towards someone big. If not because of connection, I don't think I ever wanna meet him anymore, pathetic though. Sad to say. World with all kind of people. I have yet to explore much, lots to go to understand people. I don't know, I feel like the "don't feel like going" me is coming back, I feel so lazy to go out lately or I picked only those whom I really wanna go out. I feel so tired of entertaining and social, I have to carry myself differently everytime. I am really tired. But I have to resume all these soon, anyway there's not much meet ups lately though. When comes to friends, it's always hard to match our times. Not in town, busy, lazy or maybe that's because most of them are doing well now? Unlike me? Sigh, mine is coming soon, wait for me! YOU WATCH! HMPH! I may be late but I will be more successful! I will climb up the stairs!

I am still worrying about my diet still, remind myself second by second not to do it. I have been adding more greens and fruits to my diet for next week. In great hopes to STOP completely my bad habit and to gain my energy from time to time. I just wanna fix myself, I don't want it to be too late for it. I am going for a doctor consult later for my blood results, I saw some reds, my cholesterol is quite high despite I am almost underweight now, and some others which I don't really understand, that's why I wanna watch my diet, like my grandmother, she's really good at it. I wanna be like her when I am that age| Good at taking care of health! I wanna ask the doctor if I can still donate blood this year too. I missed for some time now. More greens and selectable fruits would be good for my health! I am taking egg every morning and oats too. Chia seeds some times in the morning. This diet plan gonna last me for two weeks before I modify my April's diet, to add on more healthy nutrients. I can't fix my diet one shot, by I can do it slowly. Some things can't be rush too fast. 

While sorting out my Chinese songs, I managed to find some site to download my lost Chinese songs and I think restore more than I thought. I think I am able to finish up my Chinese sorting by tomorrow though and hopefully to start with my Japanese songs next week. Cause I know my Korean songs gonna take me some time since I have a lot! It would be good if I am able to finish sort all my songs by April or before mid-April. I wanna see how am I gonna store it in online storage, I probably need to divide them to different accounts or create new ones or at different place besides storing it at my computer if there's space and harddisk. I wanna be save this time, to save it at different places. This lesson has give me a big hit! Cause most of my songs are from my hardwork for almost 10 years. There's like more than 10 000+ songs inside. Lucky I still manage to store some, which soothe my feeling a little. Otherwise, I would be depressed. Fingers crossed, rushing things now. Saving and less outing! Let's find a good work soon! 

Going for a trip with friends is impossible for me though I want to, just can't find the right person with the same interest with me. I just wanna avoid misunderstandings and problems like last time. It's just scary. If so, I would just rather travel alone! Maybe as time goes by, my travel partner would reach me. I hope with my new environment, I could still travel around too. Halleluyah.