30 June 2017

Last Day of June 2017

Today is the last day of June, the last day of the first of 2017! Second half would start tomorrow, new start, new beginning, new hope. I wanna achieve most of my important resolutions before 2018 approaches. The most important one would be my health, the total STOP of the bad habit, should be achieved by now and healthy diet with work out! I want a bikini body shape! Don't must say it, I need to do it instead! I wanna finish retrieving part of my lost songs, my ten years of effort before year end. By end of the year, I would want to excel in my new job and prove that I am beyond expectation. I wanna fight the battle earnestly. Nothing comes in easy hand and I will make it through! Honestly, I am scared but I need to go through this, it's still gonna be better staying at my current company though. Positive positive. I hope I made the right decision. I am worried and scared, but I need to take this risk, out of my comfort zone. There's so much to work on to go on this path. I am taking the risk and PRAYS HARD that is right thing to do. A step closer hopefully. 

I am trying to be as positive possible. Try to build up my will and determination and it's not easy. It's not something that is able to do in a go. Step by step, the realisation to change for the good and that's what's more important. And lately, I am into The Script. Their songs are the kind of genre that I would listen when I am not in a good mood. I am feeling hopeful and spirit after listening to their songs. I am officially a fan. 

My post is getting shorter and shorter day by day. I guess the stress is pilling up and I have not much thing to say. I always have been repeating what I said and I guess I have more to do as time goes by. More important stuffs to achieve. What a life and I guess this is it though. To succeed in my career, there's few things that I would need to sacrifice.

BYE JUNE 2017 AND HELLO JULY 2017! Second half of 2017! 

29 June 2017

Resting Off Days

The Final two days of my off days I really had a good rest though. I basically stayed in during the day and only went out for meals or just then nights. Family bonding I would say, I wanna speak less but I did not make it so I think it's a good time to start now since I would not have much off days during my weekdays anymore. I guess I would be more on track though. Two more days till the new half year and I am in the midst of struggling to STOP by bad habit and rushing my retrieving. This is so nerve wrecking though! I still manage to update my blog despite it's my off day. Peace V ! Brought my mum all the way to Sepang Mitsui Outlet to do her shopping but ended up just bought a stuff and then back all the way to Sunway Velocity to have some dinner but end up the food is really horrible. The food court is empty for a reason, and the reason now is pretty damn obvious. Rush back to get ready for my second round that was quite late. The bae came to fetch me for a drink with his friends. I feel bad, but yeah. There's actually two of his friends that's pretty close to my cup of tea. One is pretty much more close. PFFTTT. The session was quite fun, it's good to feel young at times but I noticed something. It's about timing and effort now. I need to get myself to meet ups as well lately. I should have some time now. I will see how I manage my time from next month onwards. More and more to do from now onwards. I need to take care of my diet as well. No more cold/ice drinks of desserts, sweet food, fried food and snacks. I really need to watch out. I notice there's grave danger sign lately. New month is approaching and good time to start now. Work out as well. Time to build the bikini body! 3 months would be enough right? Gosh I drank quite a bit and I shouldn't have vape his friend's juice, the MG was high and I felt like floating after vaping, since I did it non-stop. I reached my maximum where I stopped both drinking and vaping. I think I should cut down my drinking these days along with my diet. Wanna keep myself healthy! My age is catching up. I need to take care of my health well from this year onwards otherwise it would be too late to do so! 

The last day of my off day I pretty much stayed in as well aside from lunch and night I was out. I managed to finish my Big Bang complete songs retrieved that day! I feel so satisfied and happy! I brought my mum all the way for dimsum at Kuchai Lama and it was so so though. It's hard to find good dimsum lately. I miss those days the morning breakfast dimsum with my dad. It has been some time though. We used to always eat at good places but it definitely would be pricey. We can't afford it now. I feel a little sad though. I didn't pretty much learn to appreciate more. Went to my favourite place as well to sort out my thoughts and apparently it's almost 60 to 70% the right decision. I just need to endure it with positive and wise and smartly. I always felt better after going there. Fingers crossed. My dad like this place as well. I turned to like this place too. 

I don't feel comfortable hanging out with them anymore after what my mum did. I don't feel like joining that much. I wanna stay in more as well. I am gonna spend pretty a lot this month since I need to buy my beauty products. Oh gosh, I wanna earn more to support my needs. Career need to be up high soon. Work wise, smart and hard. 


28 June 2017

The End of Long Holiday

Well that's the end of the long holiday. Left three more days to my epic half year and plans, solutions. I hope I am close to it by now. I am pretty much worried though. There are some important ones that I should be the least close to it but not just it, I am trying to make myself a very strong person to STOP what I am supposed to STOP. Whenever I am home, I will make sure I am retrieving my musics. Definitely much to do. I am making a great use of every second that I have now. I can't waste a single second. Today is the day that I would know my perks of my contract and I hope the benefit would be good. I need to hop every two years for a good increment and hopefully this company would be a good stepping stone and I hope I made the right decision as well. I really hope I did. It's far and not too near to my interest but I hope a close one too. Fingers crossed the environment would be good. I would probably tender my letter by end of this week though. It's time to move on and get busy with life. It's about building my career now, it's just the beginning as I have some friends that are on the way while I am just starting. This is stressed. I need to be success at the soonest as well.

I had a quarrel with my mum last Sunday before the trip, wait during the trip. No one is perfect but some things I can't stand anymore and likewise with my mum. I took note with most stuffs that she said and I am starting to change myself bits by bits but she did not realised at all. I am rude and I know that. I will speak less with them at home now and lessen my outing with them from now onwards. Thanks to your consideration in revealing my salary to the others, I feel greatly uncomfortable hanging out with them now. They would probably putting more hopes and comments on me for sure. I hate the judgement but I am gonna learn to ignore it from now onwards. Take only the good kill the bad and learnt from it. Change to be a better person but not for the worst. This is a strong point that I always need to emphasise to myself. I need to be positive and strong. The will and determination are the points. It's not easy but yeah. I need to accept and handle it well. Reduce the vulgar words and rudeness and speak well! 

It may not be the one, trying and keeping a good heart. I hope one day I would be able to say ;-


I hope all these would be before I turned 30! TICK TOCK TICK TOCK Update more about the perks of my work for the next posts. No picture today. And time to work hard and smart! AJAJA FIGHTING! 


27 June 2017

Family Day - Fraser Hill

It was a long holiday this weekend for four days. I did not had enough sleep last Friday but end up at a cafe for a short drink instead. Rose latte but it wasn't that nice though. The one I had at Owl's Cafe was better, there's rose taste still regardless how strong is the latte taste. I stayed in during the day last Saturday.  I wanted to rest, I had enough sleep and so. I did some retrieving and went to sing k during the night. It has been some time and probably the last time for my next session since I spend a lot. Planned a last minute family day outing on Sunday to Fraser Hill. The scenery was just soso and the air was of course really fresh and chilling. The journey was quite long. There weren't much stuff to do there actually. So I had to change my trip plan with bae. GRR. But the environment was quite okay. The road to the place was quite cramp and there were more people going up when we were on our way down. We wanted to go to the Japanese village but after checking out the price, we found out that it was not worth going though since the entrance fees was quite pricey and the place is small. So we ended up at Genting Highland. It has been some time for my sister since I been there quite often. It was really jam go and back, thanks to the Genting's premium outlet! So many people! Even Sky Evenue has many people as well. I really hate crowded area! I basically drove the whole day, used all my attention and feeling tired. Had some dessert with le mum after the day. I slept pretty early, even earlier when I have work because I was exhausted! I wanna have more trips like this. 

I was supposed to stop by yesterday but I did if, in fact increase to twice. I am supposed to stop not increase the number of times. What am I thinking? This really bad. Three more days to the last half of 2017 and I know I can't do it anymore. I need to stop by today instantly. I need to be strong and have a concrete will and determination. I can do this, I need to stop! I am getting worried day by day. I need to take care of my diet, I need to start work out at the soonest by this week. I need to do groceries by this week. I am gonna take this fours days to STOP. No more dragging. Please STOP already. Please. I have already replanned my retrieving and sorting schedule and most probably will take me till end of the year. Regardless, I will do it as long as I am at home, not wasting time now. I am getting busier and busier day by day. I need to go out lest, and control that as well! Feeling worried about myself and a little stressed though. Time passes really fast, I felt like I do not have enough time. I need more time. I think from this moment onwards, I will speak less of my problem to my mum now, she revealed my salary publicly. She revealed so much about my personal stuffs to others. I am not gonna talk about my stuffs to my mum anymore, not a single thing anymore. I regret to spill out so much and now it's like a CNN news, everyone knows my earning now. I am getting fed up staying home day by day. Since I need to finish my task, I will just stay in my room and isolate myself from now onwards. I just wanna concentrate on my resolutions now. 

I need to remind myself every moment that I need to stop doing it already. It's really bad for my health. I do not have much time left and I need to finish settle my songs at the soonest. There's so much to do and yet, I have so little time. Sigh.


26 June 2017

Transformer: The Last Knight 2017

I watched Transformer: The Last Knight as soon as it released. It wasn't as impressive as it used to though. I used to like to watch this movie but maybe it's because there's too many series, it starts to get boring and typical kind of movie. The actions weren't that good as well. I think movies should not have too many series though, unless there's always creative ideas but there's always limit to it though. I think there's so many parts already. Seems like the ending is not there yet and there's still more to it. It would probably be 1-2 more, the movie would end though. It still hit in the cinema though. We watched the movie quite late during midnight since the seats weren't that nice and it's almost full. I still prefer the old main actor and actress though. Ever since they changed their main actor and actress, I am not as interested as I used to. I need to work the next day and I was so tired though. GRR! 

My interviews are finally done. I would most probably reject the first offer and accept the second if it's good. The first one offered too low. I really unable to have an inch of acceptance. I can't survive with that salary though I am able to take public transport. Yes, the benefits are better than my current but my wages are as important as well! The market is different now. I really hope the second one would give me a good offer since it's a big company. I hope I passed the second interview as well. The company work seems promising though it's quite a distance from my place. I just need to hope that I have made it and able to decide already. I am quite tensed and worried though. I am tired to go for another batch cause it would be too obvious already since I used up my replacement leaves and left with annual leaves. I don't feel like using them even since I used two days already. I wish to have early release after I tender! Think positive, think positive. I will make it, I will get it. I will excel, I will do well. I will! 

I try not to be so attached. I am just worried and trying to be careful though. I wanna refrain myself for having too deep feelings. Gosh, till now I can't believe it though. Now I can understand what's the real meaning of chemistry and feeling. That's it when you fall for someone. Outer wise may not be your ideal one, but inner wise, he's close enough. Feeling thankful though. Feeling loved as well. I have someone to lean on now. I have someone to hug when I need now. =3 I have someone that cares for me now. I am not sure how long will this relationship last, but for god knows, as long as possible. I am not gonna tell anyone just yet till we are stable, by end of the year probably. I will see how it goes. Thank you! I will be good, I will change my bad habits. He's my reminder. I just feel me when I am with him. I am sick of the bullshits and sarcasm and absurd at home.

I had a good breakfast last few days at a Bakery. I love the chocolate roll! The German coffee is a little too heavy for me. I waited like for almost an hour for my Grabcar thanks to some problem. I was forced to call the 3rd drive to be able to hop on. Damn it! There's Antipodean there! There's many rich people there as well. Those luxuries car, those drivers. There's many embassies there though. I am so envious with these people. When can I climb up to such high position, that's why I need to move on! Positive! Bought more buns while waiting for my ride. Rest a while at home before moving for my last interview. It was really jammed that day, took me an hour to reach home! I hate jam and I guess it's because Raya was on the way. 

Guess what, I found Toms n Toms near there! I can't believe it and they should open more branches. They have my favourite drink and their price is not that expensive too! They were hidden at Uptown 5! I wouldn't have seen it if I did not walk from my parking area to my interview building. Feeling happy. I would be happy working there as well. I like the place though. There's lots to explore there, there's many foreigners as well as in westerners or so, professionals I would say. I need to plan for my transport as well. The expenses and everything. There's so much to do! Tick tock Tick Tock.

Went back to this place to have some drink, it's so old now the place since my time. They lasted for so long and never change much. Those days. I don't really hang out here but I always passed by here to go to the public transport. Time passes so fast. I am already old and mature enough. My education life was awesome and I wish to make my working life as awesome as well. It's almost coming to four years since I have been working. I hope from this year onwards, it's starting to rise up, "primary level" is gonna finished soon. Let's just to university level soon. Oh yeah! Visualising myself in a high position corporate level in a company doing good in the next 4-5 years! Watch me babeh! I will succeed this! I will be able to make it! 


25 June 2017

Degrading. Need to Leave soon

I slowly felt like as time goes by,  I felt like I lost myself. I did simple mistakes that I don't usually do. I am someone that's really careful and would double check my work all this long, worried if there's mistakes. But as of early this year, ever since after Lunar Year, I tend to make more mistakes. No wait, especially when I have started hunting for jobs and going for interviews. I was actually so eager to leave the place. It's flexible and slow here, comfortable and not so much of stress but I do not want, I want to improve and develop myself. Two years plus is up if that's what I am waiting for. Hunting for a good job is not easy and still trying. That's when I have exceeded my timeline, I lost interest and determination with my current job,  I am too eager to leave. I made stupid mistakes, don't really wanna bother with things. I can't degrade myself this way. I wanna change to be better not the other way. I even have the thought of just tender my letter without having a new job. But I know I can't, I have commitments, I need to withstand this and go on with it. Be more alert and careful with things I do regardless how much I dislike this place. I need to be professional and wise. That's what helps in the road of success. I just can't wait to move on and at the same time I am worried if I have made the right choice. I am taking the risks. I really hope I can tender by this month with a good job offer. I am ready for a much busy and stressful life. I wanna be in a face pace to be better. Please come to me soon. I am really tensed with myself now already. The repellent feeling that I have now, honestly I just wanna leave this place ASAP. I wanna build my career at the soonest. I am sick of this place. I am getting sick of myself too. I need a change, I need to CHANGE! Fingers crossed and prays hard. I feel so disappointed with myself while typing this post. Why did I did so? Why did I made such mistakes? So not me, I felt so not me. 

As time goes by, I wasted more time because of my habit and I regretted it. My new week which I need to forbid myself to do it anymore, totally. Save my time. I need to hang out less, I am over budget. I need to save more money for G-Dragon's concert and to buy a car by next year. I wanna do more savings as well. I wanna do part time if I managed to buy a car. I just wanna earn more money in a niche of time. I have not much time, I have lots to do once I start my new work, I would be busy. I need to and must finish my retrieving and sort out by the least August. I can make it, just stay in during holidays and go out less during weekends. In fact, if I just sit in front of my computer once am get back, after dinner and shower, I can actually finish it in time but I did not do so. I brought myself to this point, myself to blame of. I am gonna make sure this week is the sort start of my new half of 2017. The soft launch I would say, I need to slowly begin the kickstart. I have been slacking for half a year. Time to work things out now. I can't be like this forever. I hate being scolded upon, I wanna prove to these people that I will excel better than then within 5-8 years time. Higher and more successful than them! I can do this! AJA AJA FIGHTING! Trying to make myself determined and strong! Being positive and hopeful. Have a sin of compassionate as well. Life is life, there's so much to go through. I need to improve myself to a better person, that's all I can do for myself, realised and willing to change for the better. Reminder to myself every second. I try to refresh lesser the bad memories, trying to wash most of it away. I just wanna think only the good ones.

I can't believe my sort of first one after entering the working world would be someone that's younger than me. I used to totally against it and particular, you know, the high expectation-ideal-kind-of-boyfriend like tall, cute/presentable, buff, a little fashionable as appearance wise, you know. Inner wise, caring, not too protective, loving, huggy, romantic and sensible, mature. I know my type is totally almost to impossible to find one. Appearance wise, it's definitely not searchable over there, probably in South Korea. That's why I was so previously into Korean dudes. Still do though but not as much as I used to. I know it's bad, I still put looks at priority first before the inner person. I wonder if I ever could meet someone that's close to the appearance wise. The least, the inner wise, I found someone that's pretty close to it if the sincerity counts in. Another barrier would be, I always like guys that are older than me, mature and more like Gong Yoo, Lee Dong Wook or Won Bin kind of style and right, totally impossible to find one here. Things happens for a reason, people come to your life for a reason. I hope they come for a good reason and if it's for a bad reason, I hope it would be a good lesson to learn. Regardless, I should be always very careful with my surroundings, people, work or environment. The world is different right now. You don't have to always show the true you, it's not safe these days! I am trying to get myself used to this now. I guess eventually it will, because I am someone particular. I would need some time. Experience they said, and that's why I gave it a try, hopefully not too deep. Dangerous, it would be though. 

No one to blame myself, I should excel beyond my limit and do well. I set myself a limit wether if I would want to do well or not. It's all up to me. Realised, changed, patience and working the extra mile. 

千里之行﹐始于足下 [千里之行﹐始於足下]

失败是成功之母 [失敗是成功之母] 

智者千虑必有一失 [智者千慮必有一失]

学习是永远跟随主人的宝物 [學習是永遠跟隨主人的寶物]

24 June 2017

Time is ticking.

I wasted some time during the beginning of the week and I was out for the rest of the week. Although I clicked attend for some events this weekend, I feel like staying in the whole long holiday just to finish up my retrieving because I am already a month late. If possible, I wanna finish all the harddisk sort out thing before I start my new job, which is by August. I am targeting myself to start study for my Chinese exam by end of the year. Fingers crossed. The reason that I am always mentioning the same concern is because I would like to remind myself to achieve it daily, before the first half of 2017 ends, I would like to achieve a lot of things. It's in a niche of time now and I am hoping for the best though. Tick tock tick tock. I can't believe I wasted so much time. I procrastinate too much and I need to STOP. I keep saying so but I am still doing it. What is wrong with me? I am getting worse, not improving which I should though. Come on, a week more till new half of 2017! Make it out of the best please! I will talk more about my interviews and results for tomorrow posts! Fingers crossed that it would be a promising post instead! ^^ 

I have been always wanting to migrate aboard especially to London, this dream never face since young. But London doesn't seems to be a safe place lately. Moreover, it's still a beginning for me to migrate so far. I am still at the verge of my career. I am still climbing but I hope by 30 I have already achieve my career which was once said to me and hopefully before 35, I have the high capability to be able to migrate to overseas, a western country. Heads up, work hard and smart, strong will and determination towards my dream. I could be lost and frustrated at the moment but I hope along the road, I will be able to find my path to my successful and fruitful career. Maybe because I was brought up in a city life, regardless I still prefer to live in a city. I prefer fast pace moving environment at the moment but who knows, when I aged, I would prefer slow pacing environment. I hope I will practice a healthy lifestyle by this month onwards. That was the promise I made, I need to work out soon to build some abs for my bikini body man! I need to go to the beach soon! Anyway, aside London, I would consider USA and Australia as well, a place to live in. Aside those, Europe would be my wider choice of selection as well. As for Asian countries, I don't mind South Korea or Taiwan. Just these two countries. That's why I wanna learn Chinese well. More opportunity I would say. If my country is this nice, I wouldn't need to thinks to leave the country! Sigh. It's actually a nice country if it's managed well enough, sadly. 

Country and nature kind of life would be nice too though, when you're feeling stress or tensed or frustrated with working life or just life and people. I think nature is a good getaway. The European and Western countries have really good views of natures, lots of awesome outdoor activities can be done but here, it's polluted, dirty and not convenient. I really dislike this place and eager to leave anytime soon. Finding ways and working hard. Time is up, time to buck up for my career! It's coming yohh! It has became a habit that I need to have a few pictures the least in my post so that it doesn't look too empty or dull though. I wanna change my theme after June ends to mark the new beginning and chapter of my life. Woots! =3 Much changes to do next week though. Feeling hyped with the new half already! 

I have both reasonable wordings and pictures today! I have more serious topic to talk about tomorrow though or probably on Monday as well. Cause the results should be here. I need to decide, let's just talk about getting it then about how to get there. It's gonna be stressful once I start my new job, I presume cause it's far from my place and not accessible by public transport. I am frustrated with my transportation right now. It's a big company, MSC and I hope it would be a good stepping stone for me and am worth sacrifice that I made. I hope their offer and benefits are good as well. Prays hard! PFFTTTT! :) Trying my best to be positive. I went through three interviews and this better be good! :D


23 June 2017


Things just happens naturally I would say, never you could expected though. I never thought of something like this could happen to me, this chemistry. This is just miracle and amazing about human nature though. I am amazed myself though. This is interesting. I did things that I don't think that I was able or will do, it's just different though. This is just so not me and I need to get used to it though.I guess I would need some time and this is it man, I guess this is what he meant of it. This is crazily insane. Aside him, I am not gonna talk much about myself anymore. Anyway, today will be the day of decision if I got another offer. Apparently the other one offered quite low and I don't feel like accepting anymore. Lower than the first one that offered me. I really hope that the last one would offer me better much better and I would really accept it with no doubt since it's a big company, though it's contract. Fingers crossed now, I am tired of going for interviews. I wanna get in the least an okay job now though it's quite far. I am quite worried when I received the call. I am having my fingers crossed now hoping for the best. 

I should talk more about the good things. I have yet to STOP my habit, though I said I would by this week. I have two more days to go to totally STOP it and I need to break through it. I took the Raya buffet as an excuse. I hope to stop it after today. PLEASE. There shouldn't be anymore excuses! Please. This is really getting dangerous, I don't wanna spend money seeing someone that I can actually handle it myself. I need to be strong, I need to have a strong will and determination! So please! I need to make it through. I need to right this through. This weekend will determine my execration in my new job. So please. Besides, I am trying to figure out to finish off at least half of the category by this week, next week is my final week and I am not even close. I guess I have to stay in for my Raya holidays! GRRRR! No more good hunting please to heal myself. No more spending and procrastinating. I have much to do. As time goes by, my workload at home for myself increase but contribution to the house is not much. I hate myself. GRR! 

Lately I have been really craving for desserts which I do not know why. This is dangerous could lead me to Diabetes, I need to watch what I eat now know, but it's nice enough to even look at pictures too right. I mean, for satisfaction. HAHA. I love green desserts! I love GREEN TEA actually. My first priority as always, against anything. 

I wanna save up for G-Dragon's concert so I am keeping myself a reminder every second to accomplish my resolutions. Time is ticking and I am left with a week more to accomplish at least some of them, of course the most crucial ones. I need to make it through this time round. It's really important. The official new beginning is coming, I will succeed it, watch me. Jerica is on the mode now ! Fighting! I hope to study for my languages soon, I have been clicking attend for some events lately. Hope to be active in meet ups soon! =3 


22 June 2017

Time has come and I need to go.

One after another, solved a problem and popped up another problem. What is this man? I think my time is up. I need to leave at the soonest, in fact I really wanna leave now as well. I can't stand it here anymore. This is so insane. I feel so disappointed with my self. I did so many silly mistakes and yes it's because my heart is else where and I am looking forward to leave already. I am getting ready my resignation letter. I have two choices and I am waiting for the best to get back to me though. The first one hasn't got back to me yet, hopefully a promising one and current one, I am still sorting out. I wanna improve but not getting worse, so please. For god sake. 

G-Dragon is dropping Malaysia for his concert and fuck yeah I am definitely going for the concert! I have been waiting eagerly. The definite details has not been confirmed yet but I really can't wait for it already. I need to save up to buy his tickets, I need to get good seats and I need to know who's the sponsors! I need to make sure myself to attend this concert! I need to ! 

G-DRAGON to bring his world tour to Kuala Lumpur 

Last month, BIGBANG’s leader, G-DRAGON excites the internet with the announcement of his third world tour, (Moment Of Truth The End) on his official social media platforms! Yes, we are aware that Malaysia is not on the list but guess what? It’s time to mark down your calendar, V.I.Ps because Malaysia will be part of G-DRAGON’s world tour too!

Concert organizer, IME Malaysia once again is pleased to announce that we will be bringing the global superstar to Malaysia for his world tour! G-DRAGON 2017 WORLD TOUR in Kuala Lumpur will take place on 16 September 2017, 7:30PM at Stadium Merdeka.

Well, get ready to watch G-DRAGON’s explosive performance and experience a one of a kind concert soon in Malaysia!

Stay tuned for further details!

I am not in the mood to blog more for today's post though but I will have my total final last interview today, later. I hope I will do well and made it till the end. Though the location is far, I felt like the advancement is quite promising. I hope I made the right choice. Cause my instinct is there already. There's lots of things that I would need to sacrifice if I accept this offer. I hope the other one gets back to me soon for me to decide though. This is so nerve wrecking but I wanna learn a lot and be professional and experience. I will see how it goes. Wish me all the best please! 



21 June 2017


I just express my frustration to my two friends and one of it I just regretted it, maybe because it's my first time, I don't feel comfortable with it. GRRR! I am old enough though. This is so crazy! I can still picture it at times and this is crazy. I should stop talking about it now. Take it as an experience, more careful next time! Crazy thoughts. Not wanting to think about it anymore. I think I should give more thoughts on stopping my bad habit now. I saw more signs on it now. It's really crucial and dangerous! What was I thinking, a STOP means a STOP. So please keep the promise! I should stop thinking so much, moreover I have my career to worry about. The interview on Monday went well. I didn't put much expectation or hope, so I was quite calm when I did the interview. The environment was comfortable and nice. I am not sure if I did well but I hope I did but the only problem now it's the location and it's contract. I gonna need to see the offer now. I can't dropped the other company an email now till this company gets back to me. I am so frustrated right now. I really can't wait to leave! I wanna build my career at a good company at the soonest, either both, I hope the benefits are good. Oh please. Clear my mind and put only the important things please. STOP thinking about it anymore. It wasn't me. CLEAR CLEAR. Put more important things! I am not gonna reveal my things anymore. The last and for all. As I said, there's still no suitable person to talk about my problems. This is deep shit. I am gonna keep it to myself in future. Time to make a change before second half of  2017 begins! 

I used to be a big fan of Jaejong and still do!  He is still so good looking regardless the fact that he has aged a little though! Here's some information about him from Wikipedia! He's awesome singer, actor and composer! 

Kim Jae-joong

Kim Jae-joong (Hangul김재중; Hanja金在中; born January 26, 1986), also known mononymously as Jaejoong, is a South Korean singer, songwriter, actor, director and designer. He is best known as a member of the Korean pop group JYJ, and was one of the original members of boy band TVXQ. Kim was also known by the stage names Hero Jaejoong (in South Korea), Jejung (ジェジュン) (in Japan), and 英雄在中 (영웅재중) (in China). Kim is now using Kim Jae-joong (JYJ) for his activities.

Kim has branched out to act in TV dramas including Sunao ni NarenakuteProtect the BossDr. JinTriangle and most recently SPY and in films such as Heaven's Postman and Jackal is Coming. He was also the Executive Director for JYJ's 2011 Worldwide Tour and the 2011 LG Whisen Rhythmic All Stars.
In January 2013 he released his first EP, titled I, followed by a full-length album, WWW in October the same year.

Early life

Kim was born Han Jae-joon (한재준; 韩在俊) in GongjuChungcheongnam-do, South Korea. His real birthday, as revealed by his biological mother, was on 4 February, instead of 26 January. At a young age, he was given up for adoption by his biological mother to the Kim family, and his name was changed to Kim Jae-joong.[1]
When Kim was fifteen, he moved to Seoul by himself in order to take part in the auditions held by SM Entertainment. Life in Seoul was financially difficult and he took various odd jobs to pay for rent, food, and training fees, he even appeared as an extra in movies.[2] In an interview he admitted he used to be tone-deaf in primary school and was frequently ridiculed for his dream of becoming a singer. He practiced singing on his own.[3]
Kim Jaejoong attended Gongju Jungdong Elementary School (중동초등학교), Kongju National University Middle School (공주대학교 사범대학 부설중학교), Kongju Information High School (공주정보고등학교) and then dropped out in 2001. He enrolled Hanam High School (하남고등학교) in 2005.[4] Kim is attending Kyung Hee Cyber University (경희사이버대학교), majoring in Digital Media Engineering [5]

Music career


In 2001, at fifteen years old, Kim auditioned for S.M. Entertainment and was accepted into the agency. From 2003 to 2010, he was the lead vocalist of South Korean boy band TVXQ. After TVXQ went on hiatus in early 2010, he and two other fellow band members Yoochun and Junsu formed a new trio boy group, initially known as JUNSU/JEJUNG/YUCHUN in Japan.


In 2009 Kim, Junsu and Yoochun, started a lawsuit against their agency, S.M. Entertainment, and separated from TVXQ, soon founding their own band, JYJ.[6] Their debut Japanese language EP The..., released in September 2010, and their first concert DVD from Tokyo Dome Thanksgiving Live in Dome both reached No. 1 on the Japanese Oricon album and DVD charts.[7] The group's global, English language debut album, The Beginning, was released in October 2010, featuring Kanye West.[8]
In January 2011 they released a Korean EP, Their Rooms "Our Story", with three of Kim's own compositions, "Pierrot" (삐에로), "Nine" and "I.D.S.".[9] In April he toured Asia and North America with JYJ,[10] and later South America and Europe. He was also stage director of the Asian leg of the tour.[11] In September the band released a studio album called In Heaven, which sold 350,000 copies[12] and ranked first on the Gaon charts.[13] He composed two new songs for the album, "In Heaven" and "Get Out".[14][15] He composed "In Heaven" in memory of his good friend, Park Yong-ha, who committed suicide.[16]
In July 2014, JYJ released their second full-length album Just Us. Kim wrote lyrics for 4 songs, “Let Me See”, “Babo Boy”, “Dear J” and “Creation”. Recently over 160,000 and 40,000 copies were sold in South Korea and Japan respectively. The album ranked first and second in Gaon and Oricon charts.[17] [18]

Solo singing projects

Kim Jaejoong in 2011
Apart from TVXQ and JYJ, Kim has worked on solo activities as a singer. He sang, "Insa" (인사 lit. Greeting), for the soundtrack of A Millionaire's First Love.[19]Kim collaborated with label-mates The Grace for the Japanese version of their song "Just for One Day", which was featured on their fifth Japanese single and their debut album, Graceful 4.[20][21]
Kim also sang the solo track "Maze" for the fifth and final single of the Trick Project, "Keyword/Maze".[22] Jaejoong wrote and composed "Wasurenaide" (忘れないで? lit. Don't Forget) which was included on Tohoshinki's twenty-fifth single "Bolero/Kiss the Baby Sky/Wasurenaide."[23][24] The song was also on their fourth Japanese album The Secret Code, along with the songs "9095" and "9096" which were also composed by Kim. The song, "忘れないで" was used in television advertisement for cosmetics in Japan.[25]
On September 30, 2009, Kim and bandmate Yoochun released a self-composed single "Colors (Melody and Harmony)/Shelter." The A-side track, Colors (Melody and Harmony), was used as the image song for Hello Kitty's thirty-fifth year anniversary. Jaejoong and Yoochun also participated in "m-flo TRIBUTE -maison de m-flo" singing "Been So Long."[26]
Kim sang "Love" for the soundtrack of the movie Heaven's Postman in which he starred as the male lead. He also sang "Found You" and "For you It’s Separation, For me It’s Waiting" for the soundtrack of the television drama Sungkyunkwan Scandal, "I'll Protect You" for the soundtrack of the television drama Protect the Boss, and "Living Like A Dream" for the soundtrack of the television Drama Dr. Jin.

Kim Jaejoong in 2013
On January 17, 2013, Kim released his first solo mini-album titled I/MINE. The rock-themed album debuted at the top of both the Hanteo and Gaon weekly charts in Korea and broke previous pre-order records in Japan.[27][28][29] It also topped the iTunes overall chart in Japan, as well as the iTunes rock charts in nine countries.[30][31] On 26 and 27 January, Kim held two days of special concerts at the KINTEX Ilsan to celebrate the launch of the album, as well as his birthday.[32] The 16,000 tickets to the concert were sold in record time.[33]
His first full-length solo album, WWW, was released on 29 October 2013. A duet with Lee Sang-gon of Noel was pre-released on the October 15, 2013.[34]

Composing and songwriting

Composer; Lyricist사랑아 울지마 (Sarang-a Uljima; Don't Cry My Lover)KoreanMirotic – The 4th Album by TVXQ
Co-composerKiss したまま、さよなら (Kiss Shita Mama Sayonara; As We Kissed, Goodbye)JapaneseT – The 3rd Album by TVXQ
Composer; Lyricist忘れないで (Wasurenaide; Don’t Forget)JapaneseThe Secret Code – The 4th Album by TVXQ
Composer; Lyricist; Arranger; All instruments9095
Composer; Lyricist; Arranger; All instruments9096
Co-composer; Co-arrangerColors~Melody and Harmony~JapaneseColors (Melody and Harmony)/Shelter by JEJUNG & YUCHUN from TVXQ
Co-composer; Co-arranger; ProgrammingShelter
ComposerStill in LoveEnglishThe Beginning by JYJ
Composer; Lyricist; ArrangerNineKoreanTheir Rooms "Our Story" (우리 이야기 "Our Story") by JYJ, In Heaven by JYJ
Composer; Lyricist; ArrangerPierrot
Composer; LyricistI.D.S.
Composer; Lyricist지켜줄게 (Jikyeojulge; I'll Protect You)KoreanProtect the Boss OST
LyricistBoy’s LetterKoreanIn Heaven by JYJ
Co-composer; Co-arranger; Co-lyricistGet Out
Composer; Lyricist; Co-arrangerIn Heaven
Composer; LyricistNo GainKoreanTarantallegra by Junsu
Lyricist살아도 꿈인 것처럼 (Sarado Kkum-in Geotcheoreom; Living Like A Dream)KoreanDr. Jin OST
Composer; LyricistUntil the Sun RisesKoreanUntil the Sun Rises by Baek Seung Heon
Composer; LyricistStayKoreanJackal is Coming OST
Co-composer; Co-lyricistKiss BJackal is Coming OST, Y by Kim Jae-joong
Composer; Lyricist나만의 위로 (Naman-eui Wiro; Healing for Myself/My Only Comfort)Jackal is Coming OST, I/MINE by Kim Jae-joong
LyricistOne KissKoreanI/MINE by Kim Jae-joong
Composer; LyricistAll Alone
Co-composer; Co-lyricistOnly LoveKoreanY by Kim Jae-joong
Composer; LyricistOn My MindKoreanNew Born by M.Pire (엠파이어)
Lyricist빛 (Bit; Light/Brighter)KoreanWWW by Kim Jae-joong
LyricistDon't Walk Away
LyricistJust Another Girl
Composer; LyricistRotten Love
LyricistLet The Rhythm Flow
Composer; Lyricist; Arranger그랬지 (Geuraettji; It is/I said I am sorry)
Composer; Lyricist9+1#
Co-LyricistModem Beat
Composer; LyricistParadise
Lyricist싫어도 (Sirheodo; But I)KoreanTriangle OST
Lyricist우연 (Uyeon; Coincidence)
LyricistLet Me SeeKoreanJust Us by JYJ
LyricistBabo Boy
LyricistDear J
LyricistLet Me See
LyricistGood Morning NightKoreanNo.X by Kim Jae-joong
LyricistLove You To Death
Co-composer; LyricistGood Luck
Co-composer; Lyricist원망해요 (Wonmanghaeyo; Blame)
LyricistAll That Glitters
Lyricist다시 만나지만 다시 만나겠지만 (Dashi Mannajiman Dashi Mannagettjiman; Meeting Again, Will Meet Again, but...)
Lyricist그거 알아? (Geugeo Ara?; You Know What?)
LyricistRun Away

Acting career

Kim at the Golden Disc Awards in 2017
Prior to his debut as a singer, Kim worked as an extra, playing a soldier in film Taegeukgi. Along with the other members of TVXQ, he acted in television programmes, Banjun Theater and Vacation.[35][36]
In November 2009 Kim co-starred with Han Hyo-joo in a joint Korean-Japanese telecinema Heaven's Postman, as Shin Jaejun, a young man who delivers letters written by the living to the dead and helps lingering ghosts settle their earthly affairs.[37] This was followed by Fuji TV's Japanese television drama Sunao ni Narenakute in September 2010. Where he portrayed a "doctor", who moved from Korea to Japan with his younger sister, working for a medical equipment manufacturer.[38]
In August 2011, he starred in his first television series in South Korea, with Choi Kang-hee and Ji Sung in Korean drama Protect the Boss. He played the role of seemingly perfect Director Cha Mu-won, nicknamed "Prince of the Financial World" for his business acumen, who becomes frustrated and fight against the constraints in his life.[39] He was also in Ayumi Hamasaki's music video for her 2010 song "Blossom".
In May 2012, he starred in his second South Korean television series, Dr. Jin, with Song Seung-heon. He played the role of Kim Kyung Tak, a high-ranking officer of the police force of Joseon Dynasty, who is an illegitimate son of the Joseon era's Prime Minister and his concubine. His character was entangled in a love triangle with his childhood friend, Hong Young-rae, and the drama's main protagonist, Dr. Jin.[40]
Kim starred in a teaser video along with actress Kim Ji-won, for debut song for Baek Seung-heon.[41] He also wrote the lyrics for the song "Until the Sun Rises", which was released on 7 November.[42] However neither he nor Kim Ji-won were featured in the official full-length music video.[43][44]
In November 2012, Kim in his big screen debut in dark comedy feature film Jackal is Coming, portrayed Choi Hyun, a Hallyu star who is kidnapped by the assassin Bong Min-jung, played by labelmate Song Ji-hyo.[45][46]
In May 2014, Kim starred in MBC drama Triangle as the male lead. He portrayed Jang Dong-chul / Heo Young-dal, the middle brother who grows up to become a lowlife gangster; his older brother Jang Dong-soo (Lee Beom-soo) becomes a detective, while little brother Jang Dong-woo (Yim Si-wan) is adopted into a chaebol family. Jang Dong-chul eventually becomes a senior executive of a casino and starts his plan for revenge.[47] The character brought Kim the “Top Excellence Award, Actor” at the 7th Korea Drama Awards in October the same year.
In January 2015, Kim starred in KBS2 drama SPY as the male lead Kim Seon-woo, who is a genius analyst working for South Korea's National Intelligence Service along with actress Bae Jong-ok as his mother Park Hye-rim, an ex-spy from North Korea. The drama is based on the Israeli drama The Gordin Cell, modified to depict North/South Korean relations.[48][49][50]

Directing career

Kim served as Executive Director for the Asian leg of JYJ's 2011 Worldwide Tour.[11] He also participated in the directing team for the 2011 LG Whisen Rhythmic All Stars.[51]

Personal life


In September 2005, while rehearsing the dance steps for "Rising Sun", Kim ruptured his cartilage in his knee and was admitted to a hospital in Seoul.[52] He underwent surgery on the same day to repair the tissue.[53]

Custody battle

On November 21, 2006, a man with the surname Han filed a lawsuit against Kim's guardians. Han claimed he was Kim's biological father, and thus wanted parental rights.[54]
Han cited the reason for the lawsuit against Kim's legal guardians as "for not going through the proper procedures before registering [Jaejoong] in [the legal guardians'] custody."[55] The first hearing was to be held in Kim's hometown, Gongju, on November 29, 2006, but on November 22 Han dropped the charges against Kim's legal guardians.[56]
In reaction to the matter, Kim uploaded a journal entry on his official fan club website, and said that he was informed of the existence of separate biological parents by his mother two or three years ago, and it had been quite a shock to him. With his current mother's support, his biological mother has been able to keep in touch with him, and to meet occasionally, but whereabouts of his father had been unknown.[57]
He expressed his will to live by the name of Kim Jae-joong, not by his birth name Han Jae-jun (한재준).[57]

Military Service

Kim returning from his military service
Kim enlisted in the army on 31 March 2015, the first five weeks spent for his mandatory basic training at the 1st Infantry Division (Republic of Korea) recruit training center in Gwangtan-myeonPajuGyeonggi province. He later ended up as the top recruit among the 244 in his batch, earning the Excellence Award during the graduation ceremony. He was under the 55th Infantry Division in Cheoin-guYongin to serve as an active-duty soldier for 21 months and was also a member of the military band. He was discharged on 30 December 2016.[58][59]
I don't wanna show much about myself anymore or talk about myself, till I managed to search for the right person to talk with, I don't really feel regret telling to the two in hopes to just release my frustration but the advice is not convincing though. That's it, I am gonna keep to myself from this moment onwards, Fight the battle to STOP doing it, finish my songs and my career! Fighting!