12 July 2017

Hard to STOP

I am really struggling to STOP my bad habit, it's really hard. It's gonna be two years if I don't STOP. This is really bad. I can't. I just can't do it. Please. No more excuses please. That's enough. That's too long to not even STOP. I will stay in my room as soon as I come back home. I need to. I really don't wanna do it anymore. Please. You can do this, keep reminding yourself. Keep your spirit strong. You can always eat all those anytime, health is more important so please DON'T TO IT ANYMORE. You can make it, you can do this. I am really worried that I will not be able to stop. This week is it, better do it or it's too late. I need to remind myself every second. I will STOP, STOP and STOP. I have wasted too much time and money on it, so please don't anymore. I need to retrieve my songs fast. So yeah. FIGHTING!

My boss just announced my resignation so yeah. I guess almost the whole company knows now. I just can't believe it as well. I wanted to keep it low profile but yeah. It's well announced right now. Great. I am trying to finish of my tasks as soon as possible and as good as possible despite that I have no more the driven spirit as I used to. To be at this position at this period amount of time is nothing here to me. If it's at a better company, that would mean something to me though. So yeah. I am still looking forward to move on. I hope it's gonna be a better place in terms on benefit and environment. Fingers crossed. 

The reason that I am reluctant to be in a relationship is because I am scared to get close to someone. I am scared of the word jealousy. I still manage it well now. I don't wanna be angry or pissed with small matters, you know the normal typical kind of thing. I just don't wanna be. I missed those days that I was treated like a little sister among the elders. But now I am being treated I am being loved instead. Of course the feeling is different. Wether are we in a serious relationship? I dare not say no but I am not saying yes as well. Let's see how the half year goes and I will decide. At the end, it's not just about a secure feeling but also secure in others as well, you know. If you get older, and probably has higher tendency to feel like getting married than, you would wanna hunt for a more stable and capable partner. I still have that in mind for future. But you will never know your feelings. I am trying to hold back as much as possible but I like the love given, I feel loved and it's awesome. The chemistry in a relationship is really important though. 

I am so into minions stuff lately. I still like minions regardless how old am I, they are so adorable! I like the way they talk and move about! How can someone be so creative in inventing this character! Maybe I should DIY some of my favourite minions though. I feel it would be nice, wait till I settled down. 4 more weeks to go yoh. I can't wait but nervous at the same time.. 

Maybe towards the end of the year I can actually start changing my wallpapers and display pictures for my emails and social apps including my blog. Now it's too early I supposed. It would be a hassle to keep changing it though. But you know, I like fresh things and new. That's why I tend to change my wallpapers and stuffs quite often. I used to but slowly changed the habit, became lazy lately. I try to stay in as much as possible as well. I wanna finish up lots of stuffs at the soonest cause I have lesser and lesser time to do my own stuffs, feel like it since I wanna have more income in future. This is life man, nothing is easy actually. 


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